BORO v Burnley - The Riverside 29th December 2024 (ko 8pm)
Here we go again. Part 2 of the December duet against one of last season's relegated clubs: Burnley. It's Pantomime season but we could do without* the chorus of "It's behind you" in light of the fact Boro played Burnley as recently as 6th December.
* Oh no, we won't!
And whilst talking of Pantomime, that's about the best description of Boxing Day's Boro v Sheffield Wednesday extravaganza. From the sublime to the ridiculous. A Farce in two Acts. If Brian Rix had written and produced such a performance the audience might well have described it as too far fetched. It could easily have been 4-2 at Half Time (how Wednesday missed a header - from 6 yards at the most - into a gaping wide goal, I'll never know). Despite all that had happened Boro went into the changing room for the Half Time cuppa/slice of orange/tactical pointers from the coaching staff a "safe" 3 (THREE!) goals up. The turn of events in the second half, whilst extreme, should never really surprise those benighted souls who are Boro supporters.
Pantomime: having its origins in Ancient Greece and Rome and originally without speech as the "mime" part suggests, it had some popularity in Italy and France in the 1500s to 1800s. However following the influence of Mummers' plays in the Middle Ages, it became a big thing in the Britain of the 1700s and more particularly over the last 225 years or so and remains popular in the UK and some English-speaking countries. Pantomime comes into its own in the period around Christmas and the early New Year and it attracts large audiences that, to some extent, help to sustain the more serious (I hesitate to say "worthy") but often less well-attended productions in the theatres throughout the provinces during the rest of the year.
The productions included, you might even say featured, cross-dressing long before that became a recent signature of the current age, and long after women were allowed on the Stage. Pantomime is a world where nothing is as it seems. The handsome young Prince is often a thigh-slapping, pretty, and young(ish) female actor whilst many of the lead female parts (Ugly Sisters etc) are played by (often much older) men wearing garish clothes and even more garish make-up that, in the real world, would fool no-one save the most drunken or drug-raddled observer.
Plot lines owe more to the incredible than to any world the audience may know. Songs are sung and the crowd joins in. A bit like football. Fun is made of some of the characters on display. A bit like football. There are the good guys (your own team's players, some of the time) and the bad guys who are like Pantomime Villains (the other team's players, but please don't mention the wasitline or the parentage of the other team's goalkeeper). Simple jokes are told that 6 year olds can laugh at, whilst rather more risque jokes fly over the heads of the children since they are aimed at the adults in the audience. The humour is often physical, indeed "slapstick". That name comes from the slap-stick, a bat with a thin connected piece of wood, with which the Harlequin in 16th century Italian commedia dell'arte productions used to slap other chararacters on their backsides - making a loud noise to emphasise the impact. Despite the various ups and downs during the production, the pantomime comes to an end with the "good" people thwarting the baddies, and coming out on top, so they all can live Happily Ever After.
You'll remember well** the game three weeks ago against the Lancastrian opposition now visiting The Riverside, as the 1-1 draw at Turf Moor was shown live on TV. That was no Pantomime, but a bit of a thriller with a nicely-worked opening goal (against the early run of play) made for Dijksteel who neatly slotted the ball over the keeper for Boro to take the lead. After an excellent Burnley equaliser placed deliciously over Seny Dieng who had perhaps strayed a few yards too far off his line, both sides had later chances to wrap up the game but the score remained 1-1. That was a good away point for Boro, Supporters will have returned satisfied after that game.
** Oh no, we won't!" (Again).
Even if the brain cells are suffering as a result of the Christmas alcohol intake (so far), there are those amongst the readership of this Blog who'll remember*** that, in his Match Preview for that game at Burnley @Selwynoz set out the historical record of results between the two clubs. He also set out a list of the possession stats for Boro in matches leading up to the game on 6th December and then set out the situation regarding Scott Parker's appointment as manager, a month-by-month breakdown of Burnley's results for the season so far (from August to last month), a breakdown as to the components of Boro's methods of play, the usual list of players not available for selection and the possible outcomes to the season which that game (and THIS one) had the potential to influence.
*** Oh no, we won't! (And again). LOOK, YOU CAN ALL JOIN IN, IF YOU WANT TO!
The game on 6th December and the Match Preview by @SelwynOz are so very recent that it would be foolish of me to repeat the exercise, however hard I might try to disguise the information. In order to bring matters up to date I will limit myself simply to setting out the results of the few games played since then by Boro and by Burnley, which should show us where the momentum lies between the two clubs. The games played by the two teams after their 1-1 draw at Turf Moor have been as follows:
| Sat 14th Dec - | BORO 1-0 Millwall |
| Sun 15th Dec - | Norwich 1-2 Burnley |
| Sat 21st Dec - | Plymouth 3-3 BORO |
| Burnley 2-1 Watford | |
| Thu 26th Dec - | BORO 3-3 Sheff Wed |
| Sheff Utd 0-2 Burnley | |
so where that takes us, after the two clubs battled with the 2 sheffield clubs on boxing day is: Boro: W1, D2, L0 and Burnley: W3, D0, L0. Or, looked at another way, Boro 5 points from 9, and Burnley (against teams higher in the league table) 9 from 9. Boro with 36 points, at the time of typing this on Friday (the day after the Sheffield Wednesday game) currently lies in 7th place just outside the play-off positions, whilst Burnley with 47 points lies 3rd, and only a single point behind Leeds and Sheffield United who currently occupy the automatic promotion positions. By way of comparison the 11 points difference between Boro and Burnley is the distance at the time of typing between Manchester City in 7th place in the Premier League following a catastrophic run of form in the last couple of months, and Crystal Palace in 16th place. More of a mountain than a molehill.</p><p><br />But back to the Panto theme and one thing we CAN predict is that the pitch and the environs of The Riverside for the Burnley match will not be Snow White. The BBC weather App which had previously suggested sunny intervals (with bright sunshine from 1pm until the sun sets at 3.47pm) now suggests some sunny intervals in the morning but;">Hopefully BORO will avoid the players' trademark impression of Sleeping Beauty when the game starts but will be full of vim and vigour, whatever the players have got up to between Boxing Day and this match.
Rav van den Berg was sent off against Wednesday after his 2nd yellow card and Sol Brynn and Tommy Conway had to leave the field, injured, so there would need to be some changes in personnel on Sunday even if the Boxing Day match had been one of unalloyed glory for Boro with magnificent performances all round. A slow start against Burnley where we are trying to identify which player is Sleepy and which is one is Dopey is NOT what Doc has ordered. I won't be Bashful about it because I want to leave the stadium in a Happy rather than a Grumpy state of mind. No doubt Burnley supporters hope quickly to climb back up Jack's Beanstalk to make a first-time-of-asking return to the paradise which is the Premier League, but I know I'll be hoping we can cook their Mother Goose good and proper, as I'm getting tired of BORO politely playing Cinderella to other teams' Ugly Sisters (even though I know Cinders got her Prince in the end). Whatever the result, I know it's possible for BORO to turn once more, and turn the season around, eventually to achieve glory like Dick Whittington.**** (see later).
Teams relegated from the Premier League (Luton Town, Sheffield United and Burnley last season) all come down with parachute payments which make life difficult for long-term denizens of The Championship even though Luton is currently doing its best to avoid taking advantage of its relative wealth. The fact that other clubs Boro has to compete with, such as Leeds United, QPR and Sunderland, have rich foreign backers worth multi-billions, means that we may feel in need of assistance from a generous modern-day Robin Hood who can somehow get the rich barons to hand over some of their money to our genuine and worthy cause. Maybe some players will be sold in January?
The very last thing I'd want is to find Burnley's Goldilocks breaking her way into The Riverside, sitting in our chairs, eating our food etc then escaping with all 3 points. It doesn't Bear thinking about.
It could almost drive a man to drink - so this is probably an appropriate point to mention the unusual beverage of "Bene and hot" ("Bene 'n 'ot"). The story is that during World War One the East Lancashire Regiment was stationed near Fecamp in Normandy where the famous Benedictine Liqueur originated. The soldiers drank the Benedictine in hot water - like a Hot Toddy - to stay warm whilst freezing in the trenches and they brought the habit, and the liqueur, back home to East Lancashire with them after the War. Turf Moor is the only football ground at which it is available and over 30 bottles of Benedictine are sold at each home game.
If that were not enough, Burnley Miners' Working Men's Social Club has also picked up the baton and now drinks about 1,000 bottles of Benedictine per year, and has introduced the "Bene Bomb" to keep the younger element happy (it competes with the JagerBomb which is available elsewhere) as well as selling straight-forward Benedictine on the rocks and "Bene 'n Hot" to drinkers wanting a night cap. The reality is that, apparently, the man who developed the recipe for Benedictine embellished a story that the original makers of the drink had been the monks at the Benedictine Abbey at Fecamp which was devastated during fighting in the French Revolution 1789-99. If there were a chart produced for Benedictine drinkers, in the way that newspapers and TV channels produce heat-maps to show where a particular player has touched the ball during a match, the area around Burnley would be on fire.
Boro being the team it is, there can be no way of knowing whether, after the Boxing Day Pantomime, we will see more of the same at the home game against Burnley, or a finely crafted thriller with the denoument hidden from our eyes until late drama restores a waning love for the game. It could be a comedy. It could be a nightmare. It could be a tedious sleep-inducing bore-draw. One thing we CAN predict about the Boro is that the team is the Champion of Unpredictability. So maybe after horror we will see smiles after all. It has come to a pretty pass that virtually the only Premier League team you could imagine Boro beating at present is Manchester City, and all at the time when Nottingham Forest currently lies THIRD in the Premier League table (at the time of typing and with 18 games played, though with Arsenal to play its game-in-hand later this evening). So it's not just Boro which plays tricks on its supporters!
Maybe good things await around the corner for Boro. If we BELIEVE.
We've all been good boys and girls now, haven't we? I just wish that Steve Gibson could find some magic beans...
**** Oh yes, he DID! Sir Richard (Dick) Whittington was a cloth merchant who was Lord Mayor of London FOUR times, not the thrice mentioned in the Pantomime named after him. He served as Lord Mayor under Kings Richard II (reigning from 1377-1399), Henry IV (Bolingbroke who reigned from 1399 to 1413) and Henry V (king from 1413 until 1422). Originally Whittington was appointed Mayor in June 1397 by Richard II to replace Adam Bamme who had died in the role, but he displayed some nifty financial footwork in "buying back the liberties of the City of London" (from the King) which no doubt paved the way for his elections as Lord Mayor in October 1397, and again in 1406 and 1419. He also served as Mayor of the Staple in Calais in 1407 (he represented the wool merchants whose export production was initially taken to Calais for sale onwards, though other export products also went there). When the English lost Calais in 1558 the Staple moved back to its earlier setting in Bruges, Belgium. Whittington became MP for the City of London in 1416.
Whittington was a massive benefactor to the people and City of London during his life and afterwards in his Will. His good works included paying for a 128-seat public lavatory which was flushed by the River Thames at high tide, and he paid for the rebuilding and repairs to a number of churches, The Guildhall and library-building. The Whittington Hospital, in Islington, was only named after him on its foundation in 1948 but that proves his reputation wasn't limited to medieval times. However there is no evidence to support the suggestion that a cat played any role in Dick's life story, whatever the contents of the Pantomime!
Pantomine season or not, nobody at The Riverside or watching in front of a TV set, will have any idea which Boro team will turn up for the game. I hope the singing will be good but my ears haven't yet recovered from the "DJ Set" which greeted us before the Boxing Day match, so I may find it difficult to judge. I think he was trying to frighten away all the Bad Fairies or the Crocodile from Peter Pan, but his magic spell failed to work
Forever Dormo - 27th December 2024
Well done @FDormo - it’s tricky doing a starter when we’ve only just played our opponents, so I doff my cap (and slap my thigh) to your pantomime masterclass.
I’m not optimistic about collecting any points but I’d settle for one, if we can’t Turf Moor.
Forever Dormo
A classic that will forever live in the memory.
Many thanks !
OFB
@FDormo
congratulations on an instant classic. That was a wonderful intro and the only possible downside was the introduction of anything to do with MFC and their recent wince-inducing attempts to win football games. The rest was great stuff.
Do we have to look forward to the game. I’d certainly take a draw and move on
utb
Just thinking about our coaching tactics and our apparent inability to change mid game to counter changes in tactics and formation as Sheffield Wednesday changed to an apparently 4-1-4-1 which created panic in the Boro ranks.
Whilst Carrick has the players playing in his preferred style, his noticeable reluctance to use substitutes until the 75th or 78th minute ! Doesn’t really give the team a chance to impose a differing style of play on their opponents. Against Sheffield Wednesday the imposed sending off from the field of VDB meant Boro had to change which was the catalyst for alarm and despondency within the Boro ranks.
Hurried and long conversations between Woodgate and Carrick didn’t inspire confidence and quite frankly I’m unsure what type of football brain Woodgate has to impose a tactical ability to change formations and counter a differing style of play by the opposition.
Is this a ploy by Woodgate to regain the senior coaching position at Middlesbrough again and bring in his brother in law Downing and other past Teammates? Or am I being cynical?
Perhaps consideration should be made for Gibson to dust off one of his old tactics and bring in an experienced coach to assist the staff advising on defensive frailties? Whilst Steve MClaren has taken up a National Team Coaching position for Jamaica for the next two years, he still lives near Yarm and knows Carrick and Woodgate well. Is it too late to bring him in?
Oh no it isn’t !!!
OFB
Thanks Dormo for another splendid tour of the oddities and curiosities of history and culture that you seem able to conjure up on any topic. It was a great read and a unique contribution to the preview genre which, on this blog, has developed into a multiplicity of imaginative forms under its many different authors.
Like a fine Benedictine much thought, time and skill went into its production, but it was effortlessly consumed and with enormous pleasure. Very many thanks.
Thanks for the kind comments, gentlemen. (I am sorry but I have no idea which button I pressed, or which magic spell I invoked, to cause a large paragraph in the middle of my piece to shine out bright in red. There's no hidden code. It wasn't intended.)
A standing ovation here in Perth for your seasonal tour de force. Bravo and thank you.
What are we to expect on Sunday. I wonder, will the classic actors from the first 45 repertory theatre of dreams show up, or will we have to endure the ham acting topical for this time year (as you have beautifully sedcribed).
It is impossible to know what kind of performance we will be entertained with (or otherwise) against Burnley, but while writing this I am fearing the worst. I am sure the Clarets will be confident of taking three points away with them. Let us hope not.
I am sorry but I have no idea which button I pressed, or which magic spell I invoked, to cause a large paragraph in the middle of my piece to shine out bright in red. There's no hidden code. It wasn't intended.
I've just discovered that Wordpress will automatically display text in red if you precede it with 3 asterisks - so you footnote system got hijacked. I solved the issue by placing the first 2 asterisks inside a hidden html tag to fool the auto-red wheeze.
Just to add it goes red when you bracket text inside triple asterisks and then the asterisks disappear...
*** Text ***
becomes
Text
Thanks for the brilliant imaginative seasonal preview Dormo it was a great read - I just hope Boro's defence don't play with all the vision of being in the backend of a pantomime horse!
Unfortunately, I'll miss the game tomorrow as we're heading off for a mini New Year break but I hope to be back in time to catch the Hull game.
Anyway, it looks like Boro will be down to the bare bones defensively and also just one main striker - it's going to be a tough game and maybe the pressure will be on if Blackburn and Watford get a result in their earlier games.
@werdermouth - Thanks for that. I can do the words, but the technology.is another matter. I will use another method to get around footnotes in the future. If I remember...
@Dormo wrote: "But, really, 8 pm on a Sunday? In which twisted mind is that a normal kick-off time? I hope there will be no fog blighting the away fans as they make their way home over the Pennines."
We are two hours in front of GMT in here. So it will start at 22:00 hours and ending at midnight. Luckily there will be no fight with the Pennines, just going past a sofa and then on to the bed. And switching off the lights, too.
Crazy time for Sunday, agreed. Up the Boro!
Seriously considering just watching on TV rather than using our tickets. If its cold, foggy and diismal and a poor game, we can always switch the TV off and go to bed !
Oh the joys (and the advantages of getting old !)
OFB
When I woke up this morning, I read the amazing intro to the Burnley game and quickly penned my note.
I then went back and had a quick catch up on the Sheffield Wednesday topic and was very taken by the lovely sentiments expressed by so many people as they reunited with their family and were able to put the Boro result into its proper perspective.
i was particularly moved by this because we are having a long-planned family holiday in Thailand. This has been in gestation for at least eighteen months and it has been such a pleasure to see our kids and their children from Australia and the UK.
Then, on top of this reunion, I realised that Boxing Day was a very special day in another way. We were in Khao Lak about an hour north of Phuket. That didn’t mean anything particularly special until Mrs Oz pointed out that Boxing Day was in fact the 20th anniversary of the disastrous tsunami and the Khao Lak/Phuket region took the brunt of the suffering with many people killed, properties destroyed and families devastated.
It was very moving to see how the area has recovered and the warm welcome from the locals. It really brings home the relative importance of different events. Do I want Boro to go up? Of course I do but family, friends and a safe life are all much more important.
Best wishes to everyone.
UTB
@selwynoz well said
@selwynoz - Spot on.
A splendid starter for 10, Dormo! 👏
On a more sobering note, Boro's woeful track record in game management laid bare by CJ in arguably a better analysis (for once!) than Dom Shaw's for the Echo, a link to which Werder posted on the Sheff Wed thread:
Forever-dormo. An excellent piece, thank you, which was so well crafted.
If the Boro could produce a performance as half as good as you we would be top of the league by now.
Instead, I fear that our season is rapidly faltering and in danger of turning into another one of frustration and disappointment.
Despite still being only half way through the season, performances to date have been inconsistent, with the team having developed an ability to throw points away from dominant positions rather than see games out.
I have Burnley along with Leeds to gain automatic promotion and still believe they will both achieve their aims. As far as the third slot is concerned, I fear my hopes for Boro are fading rapidly.
In normal circumstances a point would be seen as acceptable but wins are now the order of the day if things are to be turned around.
Difficult to achieve with a malfunctioning team which is now injury ravaged and given Burnley’s current form and record at the Riverside then I can only see one outcome, and it is not a good one. ☹️😎
@k-p-in-spain - I understand and sympathise with your reasoning but I really hope you are wrong. I am hoping we will all be astounded by a rampant Boro returning to top form and demolishing the opposition tomorrow.
(For the record, no alcohol has passed my lips today. Yet....!)
@forever-dormo The written skill on this blog has been highlighted many times and they are always a pleasure to read.
However your Burnley Hardliner, has reached a a new level of inventiveness during this Festive Season. It never ceases to amaze me, the quality of the Headliners posted on these pages. All different and all well delivered.
I was never totally comfortable with English at school, more a numbers person. I could only dream of such quality.
As for the game, all I will say is that I am following OFB's lead and will watch it on TV.
Based on Boro’s form and throwing away winnable games I can only see one result- a Burnley victory. They’ll be particularly keen to build on their victory v Sheffield United.
Boro will be forced to make changes but Carrick keeps telling us that he’s got a good squad so let’s see what he comes up with. Don’t expect any imaginary changes or formations.
Boro supporters must be doom and gloom after recent poor results and the team’s and Carrick’s inability to defend with any degree of defensive strength .
Philip of Huddersfield
👎👎😔😔
@philip-of-huddersfield - The thing is Boro supporters can be so fickle that, even after three or four bad results, if the team wins a game against decent opponents, it's suddenly "Game on for automatic promotion!" Burnley certainly counts at least as decent at Championship level. However in light of repeated failures to keep a lead I would need to see a run of good results and a climb up the table before I'd get too excited.
Great intro forever dormo. Before the Boxing Day pantomime I was quite confident about playing Burnley as I thought we were better than them when we played at Turf Moor. Now with all of the injuries if we can avoid defeat I will be happy. This is a game between the leagues best attack and best defence. They have only conceded 9 goals all season.Glover does not fill me with confidence at all. I wonder if we have a recall clause on Zak Hemming currently on loan at Orient? Referee is Josh Smith who refereed us at Oxford.
@mw-in-darwin - I wonder whether Boro doesn't, as a matter of course, under-estimate young keepers who come through the academy system.
That was a quite magnificent opener, dormo, undoubtedly one of your best! I don’t know how you keep on producing work of such quality.
Given our likely absentees tomorrow, I think it must be odds on a Burnley win. I sincerely hope I’m wrong.
I missed the Wednesday game because of a family party. Having watched the debacle unfold on TV, I must say it was a huge relief not to have to drive back to North Wales in sheer despondency, especially as I would have been alone, my brother being away on holiday. The same situation occurs again tomorrow, with more family commitments. If we do lose against Burnley, I shall be doubly relieved not to have had to travel.
@clive-hurren - Very kind of you, Clive. I'm not sure I could offer you any advice. Family commitments v attending the match? One thing to bear in mind is that FAMILY usually lets you down less frequently than Boro. But if this match is the start of a massive Boro Renaissance, you'll regret not being there as well! You must make the decision and live with the result!
@forever-dormo Considering we have a Premier Acadamy grade system (is that the correct terminology) that gets us preferential tax status, one has to question the number of young players that have made it to the first team and beyond.
Discounting those younger players we have brought in, under the new “buy them cheap, sell them at a profit” regime, the numbers are low.
Hopefully, Sol Brynn will be one. But before that Fry, Hackney, does Coburn count? erm? 🤔
The question is, why have an Academy, if only for the tax breaks.
@pedro - If the club produces one player (like a Stuart Ripley, Gary Pallister, Stewart Downing or a Young Rogers, even a Cattermole or a few others) every few years or so, and if the club produces some other players who just go on to a career in the lower leagues, the academy system would more than pay for itself.
The longer term answer is that managers, who in The Championship might have an average job-expectancy of less than 2 seasons, have little interest in the academy as they are unlikely to be around when or if those youth players "graduate". That's why the First Team Manager/Coach should never be allowed to create the illusion that the academy is anything to do with him (or the staff he brings in when he is signed, or takes with him when he leaves).
Given the injury situation, will we get the chance to see one or two of these much-vaunted academy players getting a go in the first team. We seem to have lots of goalkeepers but are any of them ready. Hemming is not having a good time on loan but I don’t know if we can call him back. Do we know what is wrong with Dieng?
There are lots of options that might ignite the team. Is it worth trying three/five at the back to give some extra cover to the fullbacks. We really need to stop leaking goals from crosses and counter-attacks.
Surprisingly, one of the bigger questions revolves around Hackney. He doesn’t seem to have the penetration and I wonder if he is playing too deep. Maybe we should play Howson as the middle centre back with Barlaser in front of him and Hackney further forward linking up with Azaz.
Perhaps the big question is to see whether Carrick tries to stop us losing before he goes for the win. It hasn’t been in his nature so far.
Burnley must think that we are there to be taken. Let’s hope not.
UTB
We are still near (just a point apart) the top six after a bad run in the league. And nobody is calling us "Boring Boro" anymore. Only Leeds has scored more goals in the League.
I think we will be more countious and a notch more defensive today with a third choice goakeeper on duty. Not much will change but I do not expect another 3-3 draw today, though.
As an Untypical Boro supporter, I will say we will win 1-0 with Latte Lath scoring again (as there won't be Conway available). I must admit I am always optimistic before a match and have great faith in the manager. But some players need to improve and concentrate more.
I will watch the match on TV today. Even it means the game will finish at midnight in here and I have a 8:00 appointment with a dentist in the early morning (at local public health care in here). So short sleep and then a working day - but I expect a quiet day at work.
So it will be a hard night for Boro and me personally. I hope Boro will play as well as they did during the first half against the form away team of Sheffield Wednesday. Up the Boro!