Watford v Boro

Saturday 7th November @ 15.00

I’ve been to Watford once. It was September 2010 and I have bad memories of it. It cost me £75 on the train even way back then. It’s probably three times that amount now. Gordon Strachan’s Boro were 1 down after 17 seconds, 2-0 down after 11 minutes and 3-0 down after 20. We ultimately lost 3-1. Danny Graham - yet another in a long line of promising academy strikers we let go - showed us what we had been missing by bagging the first two goals for The Hornets. So it was goodbye yellow kit road, and on that occasion, good riddance. My journey home was a miserable one. I guess that’s why they call it the blues.

Keen music aficionados amongst you will no doubt spot a passing reference to an Elton John song or two, in deference to Watford’s former chairman. There are so many Elton John songs with titles that could apply to this fixture that it would be remiss of me not to crowbar them, however unsubtly,  into my starter. But please don’t shoot me, I’m only the preview writer.

The BBC’s predictor pre-season said this about Watford:

‘Watford have appointed Italian Alessio Dionisi as their 24th permanent manager in the last 14 years and have added six new signings, all from Serie A, since finishing 16th last season. The club lacks the stability needed to make an impact in the top half of the table and they will be looking over their shoulders.

 Prediction: Survival – just. ‘

That looks about right so far!

Watford are in poor form at present. Not so long ago they were seen as one of the Championship’s yo-yo clubs, often spending a few seasons in the top division before dropping down again, but always likely to challenge. Not so now. Their stay in the second tier this time has been a prolonged one but their current predicament could possibly see them drop a division further. They’re currently just above the drop zone with 14 points, having lost 8 and drawn 2 of their 14matches. They’d lost 6 of their previous 7 games, but gained a little relief by beating Lincoln 1-0 on Tuesday to move up to 20th. Watford have scored just 13 goals so far and have conceded 23. In these circumstances, it is astonishing that manager Dionisi is still in post as I write: after all, this is the club whose Italian owners, the Pozzo family, have a notorious record of sacking managers at the blink of an eye, usually if the team loses just a game or two and doesn’t instantly live up to the owners’ highly unrealistic expectations.

So everything points to a Boro win for this game. Or at least it would have done had Boro turned up at Wrexham. That ineffective performance and disappointing defeat has completely altered how I was going to write this section of the starter. Ok, Boro had an off-night, though match reports ( I had to endure it on Radio Tees) and all your comments suggest that almost every player also performed way below normal standards. Immediately questions about how strong the squad depth really is have re-emerged. Joseph, Strelec, Sarmiento and Peart-Harris continue to disappoint. Watford, having won their last home game, will be encouraged and fortified by our lack of resilience and creativity. They might seek to test our vulnerable goalkeeper with one or two long-range efforts, and they have a 6 foot 5 Danish striker, Luca Kjerrumgaard, who doesn’t start very often but whom the Hornets might entrust with nodding down a long ball or a cross or two, à la Kieffer Moore, safe in the awareness that Vitek probably won’t stray from his goal-line. Boro need to get the Wrexham game out of our system quickly and play this one with our usual verve, pace, steel and skill.

Regardless of Wrexham, this was always going to be a fixture we would underestimate at our peril. We all recall what happened at Vicarage Road last season. Of the 11 games prior to this one, Boro had lost just one, away to Portsmouth. Against mid-table Watford, despite having the lion’s share of possession and shots Boro, managed by Edwards, were soundly beaten 3-0 and missed the chance to go joint top alongside Coventry. Does that sound vaguely familiar? Given our form at the time, the heaviness of the defeat came as a shock. Edwards was manager for just two more games before decamping treacherously to Wolves. It was, in fact, Watford’s third successive win against us, as they beat us home and away in 2024-25. Boro finally gained some revenge, beating them 5-1 in our last home game of last season, which came as a huge relief after weeks of disappointjng home draws and defeats, albeit too late for us to make automatic promotion, of course.

Another reason for caution is that Watford have three players with Boro connections: left back, Marc Bola; serial disappointment Argentinian midfielder, Martin Payero; and captain and centre back, Mattie Pollock, who is a former Boro academy product and son of our Jamie, no less. All of them will want to make an impact on Saturday. Boro must turn up and do the business.

And so to Elton John and the crowbar. Let’s imagine the possible scenarios.

Scenario 1. A Boro defeat. Not again! Manager Dionisi employs his secret weapon  - ‘I’ve Got Two Wings’, a bit like last year’s defeat, then. Pain. Cynical Chicken-runner moans, ‘Born to Lose.’ Anxious nail-biters (like me) pray, ‘Don’t go breaking my Heart. Don’t let the Sun go down on Me, or our promotion challenge.’ It’s no use. Watford win. Heartache all over the World. I cry at Night. I fall Apart.  Teardrops. Where have all the Good Times Gone? Boro’s players thank the fans, but it’s a Walk of Shame today. Dejected fans depart The Wasteland. Turn the Lights out when you Leave. Chicken-runner opines: ‘It’s over. Curtains.’ Back home on Teesside, angry fans drown their sorrows and some idiots decide that Saturday Night’s alright for Fighting.

The Spotlight falls on Kim Hellberg’s post-match interview. He’s on Shakey (sic) Ground. He seems to have the Weight of the World on his shoulders. The interviewer asks if he got his Tactics right today. Kim thinks this match was A Step too Far. He’s not worried about playing Kyle Joseph, Boro’s new Whipping Boy, at centre forward. Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word.

Scenario 2 is a boring goalless draw. I’m Restless. I’m Ticking. Come on Boro. Inject some pace. You’re so Static. We sing The Goaldiggers Song , to no avail. My Kind of Hell. Tell me when the Whistle Blows.

Scenario 3. An exciting draw, end-to-end stuff, a real Big Dipper. Boro create chances but hit the woodwork twice. Believe. They do everything but score the winner. Madness. It’s a Hard Luck Story, but Nobody Wins.

Scenario 4. A Boro win. It Ain’t gonna be Easy. This could be a Return to Paradise and Salvation for our top spot. It would be A Dream Come True and our fans would be Dancing in the End Zone. Harmony would be restored. Things would be Looking Up and whoever scores our winner would be our Idol, and Blessed, at least until Rocket Man Lanky comes back. I think I’d enjoy a Wonderful Crazy Night. I really hope this one is Written in the Stars!

I kid you not. They are all genuine Elton John titles. Look up his discography on Wikipedia. Had he been watching Watford when he thought those up? He must have undergone the same range of rollercoaster emotions watching Watford over the years as we have supporting Boro! The vicissitudes of football fandom, eh?

Well, sorry Elton, Hard Times. It’s  time for Boro to raise our spirits on Saturday and leave you downhearted. Sad again. Let’s hope you’ll feel the need to write some more Sad Songs. They say so much.