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Our pair of happy-go-lucky Boro-mad muppets (aka John Powls and Ian Gill) have made their way home, no doubt with the assistance of their carers, gathered their thoughts on what was hopefully was a trip to remember. After all the excitement of the day they’ve had a short nap before putting their heads together and giving us their verdict on the game…

Pre match much discussion centred on Poison Burger or Chicken Balti pie. The vote went for the pie and a pint of Tetley’s. The pie was a clear favourite but the drink was the lesser of evils – Cider or Carlsberg – probably the worst kept lager in the world.

It was cold at Vicarage Road, in the ground the local fans did a good display in recognition of Graham Taylor. The Parmo Army were brilliant and when the pre-match minutes applause ended they broke into an impromptu chant of ‘one Graham Taylor’. What happened next was amazing, the home fans stood up and applauded the away end.

On to the, er, football. Pre match, we went for a line-up of Valdes with a back four of Fabio, Chambers, Gibson and Friend. Midfield of three out of Grant, Clayts, de Roon and Forhaw.

Up front Stuani/Traore, Negredo, Fischer/Downing. Grey haired old men with poor eyesight shouldn’t go to football matches!

Looking comfortable – if not exciting – in a new 3-5-2 set up that mirrored The Hornets, Boro had the balance of the first half possession but after the first twenty minutes the pace of passing slowed to pedestrian ‘windscreen wiper on intermittent’ and what little threat there was petered out.

In that early period, Boro had a ‘goal’ chalked off for offside – it looked the right decision from the away end. They also got Stuani – looking better down the middle as a two up top with Negredo – free in the box with just the goalie to beat but his lob hit the roof of the net from the wrong side and that was it before the break. But that was still one more effort than Watford managed.

Boro contrived to let Deeney get one on one with Valdes from a misguided and deflected punt that came down from a height. Short on confidence, the Watford skipper was indecisive, though the Boro gloveman was anything but, and he smothered the ball away.

Watford had most of the second half and although it was mostly ‘huff & puff’ from them, they got close enough for discomfort on a few occasions with Valdes making a couple of smart saves, a couple of free headers whistling past the upright that was then struck with the home side’s closest effort by substitute Cleverley, who had just arrived on loan.

It was Gestede’s debut too – as a second half sub for Stuani.

We knew that the ex-Villa man hadn’t been on the winning side in his last 32 Prem appearances and today was never going to change that and neither did the lanky striker impress.

He is what he is – and that’s bench fodder back up for Negredo at best – but he’ll struggle even more if he gets as little service as the Spaniard routinely has had to work with and once again had today. He did manage an off-target shot though.

We looked relatively comfortable and the better footballing side but you have to offer a threat up front. Watford bullied us at times with their physicality, a reminder that top flights players are not just better footballers but fitter, stronger and faster as well.

Valdes and Fabio were the pick for Boro, but if Karanka’s going to persist with 3-5-2 they need to find some pace for the front two and a central attacking midfielder with both pace and guile – a challenge to Ramirez, if the Uruguayan stays – to replace one of the central three who are all triers but far too much an identikit of each other.

Before the match, we didn’t want a repeat of the reverse fixture or the game at Southampton – the quality wasn’t that much better than those games but Boro went one point better with a welcome, if slightly fortunate, clean sheet. Overall, a goalless draw was a fair result.

What was shared with those games was Boro’s total lack of threat to the opposition goal – Gomes had to wait until 51 minutes to warm his gloves by turning aside a Fabio shot. When the Brazilian keeper had to be replaced with injury, Mazzari needn’t have bothered bringing Pantilimon on, so underused was he.

Stadtler: “I didn’t see much again”
Waldorf: “Were you looking the wrong way again, you old fool?”
Stadtler: “Yes, I was facing the pitch!”

OK a point’s a point away from home and it was never going to be any better than that – even against a woeful Watford – for a Boro side who remain desperately short of pace, punch and guile in the attacking third.

Even Karanka was forced to admit it wasn’t a good game to watch.

For those of you who like a good moan at the football, it may not have gone unnoticed that perhaps Statler and Waldorf are the epitome of long suffering Boro fans – though maybe only a few people would have guessed that they normally attend games under their alter-egos of John Powls and Ian Gill. So here they are to preview the match this weekend…

We last went to Watford together in November 2006, Watford hadn’t won all season until guess who arrived. Shocking performance, Boro’s only move of note was a cushioned header in to the path of a Watford player to run on and score their second. Woodgate had put them ahead with neat backheeled own goal. Watford won five all season and were duly relegated

The main stand was a glorified shed and Kammie was stood on rubble doing his Unbelievable Jeff all on his Jack Jones.

Including that miserable performance, our recent record is:
W 1 – D 1 – L 4 – F 4 – A 10

Fixture	Result	Score	Notable memory
4 Nov 2006	Lost	2-0
27 Mar 2010	Drew	1-1	Lita leveler
25 Sep 2010	Lost	3-1
28 Apr 2012	Lost	2-1	A forlorn play-off quest
6 Oct 2012	Won	1-2	Emnes and Scottie get us a rare win
6 Apr 2015	Lost	2-0	Easter Monday no show on TV

The last of these was probably the most painful – a very poor, punchless performance that, along with the doing over at Bournemouth a fortnight before and the silly shenanigans at Craven Cottage a few weeks later drove the last coffin nails into Boro’s bid for a top two finish. It certainly felt like a wake in the away end at Vicarage Road and even the Magnificent Travelling Parmo Army – there in their noisy numbers as per normal– were stunned to sullen silence long before the inevitable denouement.

Watford is a working town, the centre isn’t brilliant, even the motorway services don’t want to live there. Watford Gap is 60 miles north. Following the building of the new stand it is now a proper ground and like the old Ayresome, approached via streets.

Despite managerial upheavals, a manager a season – summer, autumn, winter and spring, they have done well but not endeared themselves to the rest of football in recent years by their use of loan players acting almost as a reserve side for Italian clubs.

They have suffered the same horrendous levels of injuries as The Mackems have recently – oh dear, what a shame, never mind – and like the Wearsiders have matters absence compounded by the African Nations Cup.

Partly as a result, the Golden Boys have struggled in the last few weeks and some of those they’ve been able to rely on in previous campaigns – like Deeney and Ighalo – haven’t been doing the biz.

So, the Herts Harts are downwardly mobile in the Prem table with Mazzarri seeming even more on borrowed time than has become the norm for occupants of the Watford dugout.

But, can Boro take advantage or will they revert to the sort of display that over-rates the opposition and underplays their own strengths even when The Reds are easily on top of the game such as they produced in the reverse fixture earlier in the season and in the defeat at St. Mary’s.

Those aren’t the only examples of that phenomenon this season, of course, but they’re perhaps the most germane to Saturday’s game. The stale, slow ‘stay in the game’ approach can so easily translate to not just not winning and or drawing but evidently settling for a narrow defeat that preserves goal difference instead of valuing points.

It certainly did against Watford at The Riverside and at Southampton and if Boro go the same way again it’s madness expecting the result to be any different, however hobbled the Hornets may seem to be.

Another narrow and dispiriting defeat with the handbrake on and low gear selected will let Watford off the no win in five hook they’ve been hanging themselves on and have Boro even further snagged.

But it could be so, so different. This Boro have the capability to go and get the points at Vicarage Road. As they showed against Swansea and in the second half against the Owls even with ten men, if the full backs get forward, if the midfielders push on then they can inflict damage to on any team in the division.

The hope that always gets you still triumphs over experience and it would be terrific if even Statler and Waldorf couldn’t find anything to moan about! C’mon Boro!

The match will no doubt be played under the shadow of the sad news that Graham Taylor has passed away but it will be important for Boro to play the game and not the occasion.

🔴 Our very own muppets will be back after the game with their take on events – as usual feel free to add your predictions for the game – and if any of you feel inclined to come up with a suggestion for a caption to the header photo there will be bonus points – Werdermouth

Logic-defying substitutions. They’re more common than you think.

It’s documented in The Secret Footballer (essential reading) that in a must-win game for Manchester City at St. James’s Park in the 2011-12 title race, it was easy to imagine fans from the blue half of Manchester shouting for another striker to come on as the score remained 0-0 with half an hour to go. Instead, then manager Roberto Mancini replaced Samir Nasri, an attacking midfielder, with defensive midfielder Nigel De Jong.

One wouldn’t have been alone in scratching their head, but the change worked perfectly: Yaya Toure, who had previously been shielding the back four, moved into a more forward role, from which he scored twice, the first following a one two with Sergio Aguero from a De Jong pass.

Lesson learned? As TSF put it: “There is nothing lucky or accidental about good management. Having an intimate knowledge of each player is vital in today’s game and… makes the difference between success and failure.”

All this is something we have often been prone to witnessing, or enduring, under Aitor Karanka, particularly in the Premier League.

Calls to give Jordan Rhodes more of a chance this season have generally been put to one side or ignored altogether, twice in favour of defensive midfielder Grant Leadbitter instead. It’s impossible not to feel for Rhodes – we could write a whole blog on that – but with a bit of thought it’s also impossible not to consider how Leadbitter’s qualities can be useful even when chasing a game.

An astute Boro fan named Ian Smith informed me that near the conclusion of the Leicester match, the club captain actually played a few direct balls over the top of Leicester’s defence to get Boro in behind them, which no other Boro player had previously done. Similarly, the preference of Friend over Downing as an attacking substitution, while illogical on the surface, is understandable when we consider Friend’s promising forays into the box of late vs. Downing’s frequently wretched deliveries.

As football coverage has broadened we’ve all been schooled more and more in what players should be doing and what substitutions should be made, while perhaps being unaware of what each player can really offer for the best of the team. I’m not alone in having favourite players that aren’t picked for seemingly inexplicable reasons or being frustrated by changes (or a lack of them, take your pick), but when watching Boro, especially this season, it’s hard not to admire the steps Karanka and his coaches are taking to build Boro into a successful side at the highest level.

Like a certain Sir Alex Ferguson once did with Manchester United. I’m sure, considering Boro’s struggles this season, that Fabio’s comments about AK being like Sir Alex were met with guffaws, but the similarities are there – in fact, they are numerous.

One being Fabio’s point that “United built everything on a sound defence” – and so they did! It was said that Cantona was the difference between United and the rest in the early-to-mid-nineties, but what surely separated them from Keegan’s Entertainers and Roy Evans’ Spice Boys were Schmeichel, Bruce, Pallister and Irwin. Similarly, when the Red Nosed One initially broke the club’s transfer record in the summer of 1998, it was for a defender – Jaap Stam, who joined Ronny Johnsen and/or Henning Berg in the back two of Fergie’s Second Great Team. The titles and European Cup triumph of 2006-09 owed as much to Ronaldo and Rooney as the foundations of Ferdinand, Vidic and Evra.

If AK is not renowned for archetypal goalpoachers – only one of Graham, Bamford and Rhodes has truly succeeded under him – was Fergie all that different? Van Nistelrooy aside, it served him better to have jacks of more than one trade occupying the front line, from Mark Hughes, to Dwight Yorke, to Louis Saha, to Carlos Tevez. Goalscorers like Diego Forlan and Javier Hernandez didn’t have the best of times at United. Nor, initially, did a certain Andy Cole – but his conversion from goalscorer to footballer is one of United’s many success stories. As it perhaps should have been for one Albert Adomah, a master of one trade turned into a jack of many for the good of Boro as a whole.

Furthermore, his best midfields were a combination of character and not-always-obvious creativity that worked in pairs or as a trio. AK, one senses, is slowly building towards this – the recent promotion of Marten De Roon to a more forward role, for example, is gradually reaping dividends, with three goals to prove it. Both recognise the value of an experienced goalkeeping international, or standing by those who initially don’t look like finding their way – the ultimate success of David De Gea and the settling in of Victor Valdes is testament to this.

And both thrive in hugely competitive environments, delivering drama not through doing things the easy way but the hard way, bouncing back against the odds and proving people wrong. Among others, Fergie had “You can’t win anything with kids!”, a young Mourinho and losing both an eight-point lead and the title to City to contend with. Last season AK’s Boro were at one point seemingly running away with the title before wretched form and an unfortunate incident intervened… but then, with the chips down and the pressure on more than ever, the club ultimately achieved promotion.

Another similarity that has not gone unnoticed, for better or worse, is the unfortunate discarding of popular or gifted players (and once, in Boro’s case, coaches) – something that we fans find very hard to take even if it is for the greater good, such is the sentiment in the game. Talented players like Paul McGrath, Norman Whiteside and Kevin Moran were sold before Fergie had even won anything, long before the famous Ince-Hughes-Kanchelskis sale, and later, Stam, Beckham and Van Nistelrooy all made way. Often it is not the quantity of the fall outs or departures that is the problem, for both Fergie and especially AK, but the quality. When AK has dismissed, sold or ignored a player, or coach, they tend to be loyal club servants or local lads (Steele, Hignett, Woodgate, Downing), talented creatives (Adomah, Carayol, Wildschut, Tomlin) or goalscorers (Rhodes) and because of that, they remain etched in the memory as black marks. Like Fergie before him, AK’s greater relative success for Boro brings greater scrutiny and thus the pressure on him is amplified when things go wrong.

Something that we know that he needs to be better at or at least more consistent at dealing with. While I laud him for his conduct during Albertgate (despite Adomah’s public protest in the form of the transfer request, AK stood firm and kept a squad together which won two games out of two), Charltongate is something else entirely and absolutely cannot be repeated. Fans of AK who’ve seen The Damned United will be especially thankful Steve Gibson is not Sam Longson.

But mistakes – which Fergie has made repeatedly himself – are also there to be learned from. And, to paraphrase Mr. Kipling, if Aitor Karanka can keep his head when all around him are losing theirs and blaming it on him, his and Boro’s rewards may well be numerous – as Fergie’s were.

Pre game there was much guessing about line ups and how seriously both managers were treating the Cup. The previous days games had seen some upsets after extreme cosmetic tinkering and a lot of empty seats around the nations grounds in general. Sad to see the glory and excitement of what was once the premier club trophy in the world reduced to the role of a distraction for many. For me I am fairly ambivalent towards it, reach the quarter finals and I just may get interested.

A fairly warm but damp misty day was the morning backdrop to the build-up for the game much like my mood for the match itself, dull and grey. Come three o’clock the cloud had cleared and clear blue skies allowed the winter sun to lighten the mood. The Boro line up seemed a bit unbalanced and strange, Chambers back at RB where he started his career but hasn’t looked comfortable in that role for Boro. The “injured” Leadbitter starting, Stuani and Traore both in so who would be going left, once we kicked off it was to be Traore with that “honour” not that he will be remembered for it.

Downing, Rhodes and Nugent missing would indicate perhaps that their futures lay elsewhere but Ayala was included so not sure what to read into things. Would we go with three at the back and Traore and Friend wide with two up front in Stuani and Negredo? No we stuck with Chambers at RB and Friend at LB with Traore in for Ramirez.

The Boro bench led to more plots and sub plots, Downing and Rhodes on the bench along with Gestede, who is staying and who might get a run out and who might be going? The Owls had former Boro man Reach starting and our nemesis Nuhui on the bench.

Wednesday took the field in probably the worse away kit seen at the Riverside, why clubs need to change to black and vibrant orange when they play in blue and white is beyond me. The opening fifteen minutes were a fairly low key affair, the nearest we came was a Stuani cross with Negredo nowhere near it, in truth Wednesday had slightly edged it. Leadbitter was lively which was good to see buzzing around and set up Friend to release Traore but it came to nothing.

Carvalho was very animated on the touchline which was just as well because so far Wednesday seemed to be the only side likely to create something. This was about as dull and dreary as you could imagine, in fact even more dull and dreary than even I anticipated this morning. Boro seemed flat and lacking ideas with absolutely no spark. Unfortunately this seemed to transmit itself to the Wednesday players as well. Purgatory personified!

Chambers, Ayala, Espinosa and Friend all seemed comfortable, Traore looked “over coached” and lacking the desire to find third gear let alone fourth. Then on 25 minutes some excitement at last with Negredo of all players getting himself booked for a frustrated tackle. There was very little for the neutral observer to work out which of these sides were the Premiership one. News trickled through nearing 30 minutes that Plymouth had managed a clean sheet and a replay against Liverpool and just at that Grant swung a ball in and Ayala managed to get a half shot away over the bar, at last an attempt on goal.

If ever there was any doubt that the FA Cup has lost its shine then this game typified it, you could have nipped out and done your weeks shopping, come back and missed nothing. The complete lack of intent against any opposition let alone lower league opposition was probably the worst witnessed at the Riverside. This was dire in the extreme, in the end the Wednesday fans thankfully started a sing song in an effort to break the snoozefest. Then Traore broke through but scuffed his shot, which summed up the game in general and his contribution in particular.

Wednesday then broke out and Forestieri went hunting but it petered out with a well-timed challenge. Phew that brief high nearly woke me from my snooze. Sadly we seemed to set ourselves up to draw in a knock out cup. Negredo picked up a whack to his face which resulted in a slight delay then thankfully the half time whistle went to end the misery. There were conversations going on around me about Christmas and New Year and getting back to work as fans interest in the game waned then had just about gone. Then reality hit, there was another 45 minutes of this to endure as the players trudged off.

The second half commenced and Carvalho had clearly told his troops, go out there and get at them as this Boro lot just haven’t turned up. The Owls pressure was building up but for all their efforts their shots tally was equally as abysmal as Boro. A free kick awarded to Boro outside the box saw Grant step up to take it in the absence of Ramirez. The ensuing daisy cutting thunderbastard free kick and hit the far corner of the net, 1-0 and suddenly the game sprung to life.

Immediately from the kick off Wednesday broke and Ayala interrupted proceedings with a forearm smash and earned a straight red for his troubles. There were definitely covering defenders but I suspect the Ref saw the physicality of the forearm as deliberate intent rather than a clumsy challenge. Subs were then forced upon AK and he hauled off the ineffective grass stain collector Traore and brought on Downing whilst Fabio came on for Clayts. An astute set of subs even though enforced given the circumstances as Chambers moved across and Fabio slotted in at RB whilst Downing’s experience could cover for Clayton but also pick a pass out offensively.

The game opened up as Wednesday went for it and ten minutes after Grants goal Negredo capitalised on a comedy of errors in the Wednesday box when their rookie keeper Wildsmith kicked the ball off the closing down Alvaro rebounding off his back side into the net but they all count, 2-0 despite the ten men and game effectively over. In the dying seconds de Roon who was energy personified in the second half hit a cracker from the edge of the box and ended the contest with a knockout blow, 3-0.

A game of two halves, the first possibly the worst in living memory and the second seemingly headed for nothingness until a free kick and a sending off within 60 seconds. The score line looks credible but the story behind it far from convincing or satisfactory. Boro go into the hat however for round four with twenty thousand relieved home fans.

It’s the moment all football fans look forward to – the magic of the third round of the FA Cup – all the thrills and spills unfolding as the big boys enter the fray and take on the plucky underdogs…or do they?

[insert own personal recollection of needle scratching across a vinyl record here]

Well maybe that sentiment belonged to the era that pre-dates the internet. To paraphrase a recently departed famous Teesside magician – I like the FA Cup, but not a lot. Maybe I’m wrong, but I now get the impression that as clubs have long shown indifference to what was once the Wembley dream, the fans have joined in and seem to dismiss a Cup run as being a bit of a distraction. Well unless you’re one of the lucky supporters who follow clubs hoping to finish in the top four then believe me you need a distraction every now and then.

This indifference initially started with a few big clubs putting out a second string team as their priorities were with winning the Title or qualifying once again for the big money of the Champions League – but as the top four generally had big squads of top players it was only slightly frowned upon and they usually won anyway – though if they unexpectedly lost there was always a trip to AC Milan next week to console the fans.

But what didn’t make sense was when other ‘lesser’ PL clubs followed suit and stopped fielding their first XI – they puffed out their chests,  straightened their jacket collars and announced “we’re a big club now and the FA Cup is not our priority” – confident that their fans will be more than happy if they secure 14th spot in the table, pragmatism became the order of the day as glut of unused trophy cabinets started appearing on ebay.

OK I understand that everyone has now become fearful of dropping out of the PL but it’s now even spread to Championship teams (and beyond) as clubs look to rest key players ahead of more important league games.

But for clubs like Middlesbrough, the FA Cup is something we need to take seriously – Boro have got a whole week before their next game at Watford and a home tie against a Championship side (who will no doubt probably field a weakened side as they bid for promotion to the promised land) offers a good opportunity to kick off a decent cup run and a bit of relief from our daily grind of staying up.

It only takes a few back-to-back Cup victories and the energy of supporters is lifted and the hope (albeit of the kind that kills you) spreads through the town and beyond.

I remember a few years back when a group of us from Untypical Boro met for a discussion with Steve Gibson – Mogga was still manager then and the Boro Chairman’s ambition was to get promoted, hold our own in Premier League and perhaps win a Trophy every four or five years.

Well Steve Gibson was speaking as a Boro fan – the question on Sunday is will Aitor Karanka be pragmatic and select a team with either one or two eyes on Watford – or will he have his eyes closed with a mental image of both hands lifting the trophy as a the defeated Jose looks up from the pitch with a tear in his eye.

So call me an old-fashioned lover of black plastic discs, but I’d like to see our best team on the pitch and Boro give the paying public a good display and move safely through into the hat (or whatever hyped-up vessel they now use to allow Ian Wright to draw Arsenal at home). There’s no point holding back and playing a one-upmanship game of bench envy instead – we know our best players can sit down for 90 minutes, so I’d rather see them play.

So usually drill, make your predictions of team selection, result, attendance and anything else you might fancy a flutter on.

Let the Wembley dream begin!

Since some of you are already keen to get the discussions underway I thought I’d better start a proper post to mull over what the January Transfer Window will entail for Boro. It looks like Rudy Gestede has donned his flat cap and is about to move up north and is preparing to seek out suitable property in Yarm that can accommodate a pigeon loft.

So who else is on Boro’s radar? My punt last week was for Gerard Deulofeu from Everton to bring some pace, vision and another Spanish voice to the party.

OK feel free to speculate as you wish as I try to work my way through bells and whistles of WordPress that are within my budget (all that’s free).

Diasboro (a combination of diaspora and Boro for the uninitiated) was a phrase coined ten years ago by Untypical Boro blogmeister Anthony Vickers to describe the geographically scattered supporters of Middlesbrough Football Club.

This blog has taken this name as it succinctly represents the online community he created and nurtured – in fact Diasboro only exists in the face of the uncertainty that surrounds the continuation of this community and will act as an alternative gathering point to discuss the way forward.