Author: Diasboro

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 11-12

Sat 19 Oct – 15:00: Boro v West Brom Wed 23 Oct – 19:45: Huddersfield v Boro Sat 26 Oct – 15:00: Boro v Fulham

In a game where it’s often claimed the proverbial fine margins ultimately decide the outcome, a football coach is often judged on their tactical acumen and ability to strategically out-think their opposite number. It was Sir Alex Ferguson who once said that “Football is like chess, lose your concentration and you’re dead” – though unless the chess club in Govan was a lot rougher than the ones many others attended on Teesside then he was most likely speaking metaphorically. However, the quote from former German striker Lukas Podolski was perhaps more profound when he said “Football is like chess, only without the dice.” It’s possibly the kind of surreal logic that would make Eric Cantona proud but the great UEFA audience-baffling philosopher instead preferred the more topical analogy when he said that arguing with racists “was like playing chess with a pigeon.” Either way, in recent weeks Boro have been guilty of both losing their concentration and then trying to roll the dice only to discover they didn’t have any – OK some may be tempted to insert their own line about our strikers and any possible predilection for shooting craps but it would be perhaps unfair on Podolski to contradict his words of wisdom.

Whether or not Jonathan Woodgate employs the strategic nature of chess into his footballing philosophy is unclear but his opening gambit this season was to forgo the primarily defensive solidity of his mentor and predecessor, Grandmaster Anotoly Pulis, in the hope it would lead to a more attacking game. Sadly, this opening sacrifice has left the team looking decidedly out-manoeuvred in their positional play with some of the pieces becoming overloaded as they were forced to prioritise tasks in order to mitigate territorial losses. These weaknesses across the board have been far too easily exploited by the opposition and have left the new head coach looking like he’s in danger of reaching the endgame far far sooner than he had anticipated.

After just two wins in his first eleven games and some rather tormenting weeks in charge at Boro, under-pressure head coach Woodgate is looking rather less bright-eyed and bushy-tailed than some of the opponents he’s been seen going head-to-head with. Though the new head coach may possibly take heart from the advice of the French-Polish chess grandmaster, Savielly Tartakower, who famously said “Nobody ever won a chess game by resigning.” Although, given the bad start to the season the thoughts of the Latvian-American grandmaster, Edmar Mednis, may be more appropriate: “After a bad opening, there is hope for the middle game. After a bad middle game, there is hope for the endgame. But once you are in the endgame, the moment of truth has arrived.” While that moment of truth normally arrives quite rapidly in football, I’m sure many of the long-suffering faithful on Teesside will have frowned upon the overuse of the word ‘hope’ in that quote.

Incidentally, some of Boro’s former managers could well have been exposed by other chess grandmasters – England’s world champion contender, Nigel Short, sounds like he may have been a little suspicious of Tony Pulis when he said: “If your opponent offers you a draw, try to work out why he thinks he’s worse off.” While the German grandmaster, Emanuel Lasker, who was world champion for 27 years in the early twentieth century would have probably inspired serial career progressionist, Steve McClaren, when he advocated: “When you see a good move, look for a better one.” Although, as yet, there is no record of any grandmaster offering the words of wisdom that check “is what it is” mate.

Anyway, enough of this cold logic, it’s unlikely that even the world-renowned deductive ability of Coleen Rooney could work out how Boro can score goals and keep clean sheets. In fact many of the pessimistic Riverside faithful are already anticipating that the usual winter slump is just around the corner – it’s the only thing that keeps them going during the dark nights. OK, all the leaves may not yet be brown but the skies are most definitely grey on Teesside after witnessing that our slumbering defence has apparently decided to go into hibernation early to avoid the chilly atmosphere of the Riverside. It seems the Boro head coach has had a wake-up call and is now ready to go back to basics to address the unseasonal torpor on the pitch. These repeated mistakes have meant Boro have failed to squirrel away enough points to see them through what looks like being a long hard winter – especially as the upcoming fixtures now look a lot tougher after what was supposed to be a rather mild start on paper.

Indeed, after the dismal display against Birmingham, an angry Woodgate demanded: “The players need to roll their sleeves up and look at themselves in the mirror.” OK, that’s possibly not a great look given that most of the squad predominantly wear short-sleeved Boro shirts and in terms of style it’s probably more Aussie Rules rather than Association. Still, that would at least give many players an opportunity to once more check out their expensively inked arms – though perhaps instead it should be the art of defending that they need to spend time studying and reacquainting themselves with.

Nevertheless, the Boro head coach added: “I’ll be the first to look at myself in the mirror and dress myself down.” An act of self-admonishment that is not immediately obvious how it is undertaken – though I’ll leave that for readers to imagine the mechanics of such a process. However, it presumably involves repeating what he told the players after that disappointing performance as the boss sternly tells himself that he was “Not happy, not happy at full-time, not happy at all.” Anyway, it seems in the wake of that unhappy defeat, the players will be seeing quite a lot of themselves as the mood of introspection is set to continue as Woodgate struggles to instil belief that they can win games: “When they cross that line they have to look at themselves and do it themselves.” Maybe the ball boys will be issued with vanity mirrors in case anyone suffers a lapse during games and need a quick stare of self-reflection – though it should be limited to one per player to avoid blatant displays of narcissism.

Few would have expected by mid-October that any promotion aspirations would have been for all intents and purposes dead. The current mood on the terraces is one of resignation rather than rebellion as the season heads towards being one of survival. Despite the tipping point becoming ever closer, it’s unlikely we’ll see our very own Riverside extinction rebellion as few protesting supporters (crusty or otherwise) have reportedly been glued to their seats in recent games. Indeed even in the current climate and despite all the hot air being expelled, the only emergency will likely be the rush for the exits if home performances continue to fail to meet targets.

As to whether the coaching team have been able to make significant adjustments during the international break remains to be seen. Boro return to action at the Riverside on Saturday against league leaders West Brom, which ideally is not the game Woodgate would have chosen to try and get back to winning ways. Slaven Bilić took over as manager in the summer and he appears to have got the Baggies on track for a return to the Premier League. While they’ve scored 11 goals in their last three games at the Hawthorns, perhaps the only glimmer of hope for Boro is that the Baggies have not bagged as many away from home with only one win in their last four on the road. Admittedly, those three games that failed to see victory were at Leeds, Fulham and Derby so a trip to Teesside may be seen as a chance to bolster their position at the summit.

Woodgate’s men have only managed a mere five goals in their six home games this season and it’s hard to see where the goals are going to come from. Boro have their main striker in Assombalonga looking below his best and with Fletcher also struggling to impose himself, he appears to have been given a free pass by his gaffer. OK, I could mention Rudy Gestede but he once again managed to get himself injured without even kicking a ball in mild annoyance, let alone anger. One man who appears to be capable of scoring is Paddy McNair, who scored a brace for Northern Ireland in a friendly against the Czech Republic during the break. Good news for Boro fans but with his international manager Michael O’Neill claiming he’s a Premier League player, it’s possible he’ll be subject to better offers than a Championship relegation battle in the coming January window.

Any points gathered at the weekend would be a bonus and with a trip to a rejuvenated Huddersfield on Wednesday, it won’t get any easier. The Terriers were relegated from the Premier League last season and seemed set to continue in the dog house as they sat bottom of the Championship with just a single point until springing back to life in their last three games with two wins and draw. The West Yorkshire club appointed Danny Cowley along with his brother Nicky from Lincoln City in September and it looks like they’ve now started to turn things around. At 40, Danny Cowley is only a year older than Woodgate but after a career as a non-league player he’s now got ten years experience as a manager. He took charge at Lincoln in 2016 and got them promoted to the Football League in his first season, which also saw The Imps become the first non-league club to reach the quarter-finals of the FA Cup. Their managerial stock rose even higher after winning the EFL Trophy in 2018 and then after getting promotion to League One as champions it was inevitable that a bigger club would come calling.

If those first two games weren’t testing enough for Boro, then another newly relegated club in Fulham are next up at the Riverside on the following Saturday. The Cottagers currently sit just outside the top six, a point behind Bristol City in sixth and just three behind leaders West Brom. Scott Parker’s team are unbeaten in their last six games and after three successive 1-1 draws have knocked in 8 goals in their last three outings – including a 4-1 hammering of Reading on their last trip away. Parker was initially appointed caretaker back in February after Claudio Raneiri was sacked but was given the role permanently in the summer and is another young manager starting his career. The game will also see Cyrus Christie return to the Riverside and he’ll no doubt be keen to get at the Boro full-backs – as I’m sure others will be instructed to do. Unlike Woodgate, Parker has kept his wife happy by managing to get his brother-in-law in the team after signing Harry Arter on loan from Bournemouth.

So we will soon discover if Woodgate has managed to persuade his players that they need to at least do the basics and put in a shift if the team are to escape the lower reaches of the Championship. As to whether he or Robbie can tempt any of the forwards to start hitting the back of the net is possibly a longer term project. The coaching team’s mental agility is as yet unproven and while some may compare football to chess, the obvious difference is that the pieces on the pitch don’t always execute their moves as planned. Imagine how Gary Kasparov would have reacted if his queen had fallen over just as it was about to deliver checkmate or his castle had suddenly wandered up the board and let the opposition’s knight to ride unchallenged through his defence. Football is a game played in real time and the players don’t get 20 minutes to ponder over an opposition move – even if they sometimes give the impression that they are doing just that. Therefore, the chess analogy may have its limitations but perhaps the next few weeks will indicate whether the new head coach is the grandmaster of his own destiny or just simply a pawn in Steve Gibson’s enforced financial downsizing.

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 9-10

Sat 28 Sep – 15:00: Boro v Sheff Wed Tue  1 Oct – 19:45: Boro v Preston Fri  4 Oct – 19:45: Birmingham v Boro

In the supreme court of public opinion on Teesside, all eyes in recent days were on the ponderous methodical deliberations of the eleven representatives on the pitch rather than those of that other more ennobled eleven who have recently been in the news. Jonathan Woodgate’s surprising decision to suspend entertainment by using his prerogative powers to switch to a less progressive tactics placed the head coach under scrutiny.

As the Boro faithful prepare to reach a verdict on his first ten games in office, the case for the defence appears less watertight than had initially been expected. However, the main objection at Cardiff was that there was little evidence to show that the offence had looked charged after there were no shots on target, which has probably summed up proceedings so far this term after the shift in emphasis has often failed to be upheld in front of goal. In some ways it has been the story for much of the season as Boro have often been guilty of playing with an innocence that has often lacked conviction.

Finding the right balance between the defence and offence has proved difficult for Woodgate and it seems we’re still in the trial and error phase of his tenure. Plus the general lack of any options on the bench, silky or otherwise, may be objectionable if any kind of consistency is to be sustained. After declaring his desire to play a high-pressing game with a preference for a 4-3-3 formation, the switch after only seven games to a back three with essentially two functional defensive midfielders playing in front them will likely have limited appeal on the terraces.

It seemed a strange tactical decision given that the previous two games had seen a 2-2 draw at Bristol and a entertaining victory over a lively Reading side. There were indications that the team were beginning to show signs that they were heading in the right direction by playing on the front foot and asking questions of the opposition. It was therefore unclear what drove the radical shift in how Boro approached the game against Neil Warnock’s team, which appeared aimed at stopping the opposition rather than building on the recent positive performances.

Whether it indicates a change in direction for the Woodgate project will perhaps become apparent in the coming games but the whole Raison d’être of his appointment was to take the club in a new exciting direction with a shift in culture from the safety first methods of his predecessor. Of course, playing with a back three is not necessarily a negative approach but without progressive wing-backs and ball-playing central midfielders it would be unlikely to prove effective towards the team offering that much-vaunted increased goal threat.

Indeed, Woodgate almost left himself open to claims of cultural appropriation as he shamelessly dressed up in the old-school clothes of Tony Pulis for the trip to South Wales – with a few even worried he was only moments away from donning the trademark baseball cap and starting to shout at his players from the technical area to play it long. It’s often a dangerous game to start imitating without fully understanding the nature of the key ingredients required and the Boro head coach may well take heed from the furore that one unfortunate manager of a well-known Swedish outfit experienced last week.

OK, admittedly it was the UK manager of food at Ikea, who was forced to apologise after their stores paid homage to the traditional Caribbean dish of ‘Rice and Peas’ by serving what appeared to be rice and peas? OK, many dining novices out there may not immediately have spotted the schoolboy error Ikea made but those unfamiliar with such matters were reliably informed that in West Indian culture the ‘peas’ are actually kidney beans and not the ever so English garden peas that had adorned the Jerk Chicken plate. Who among the impulse furniture purchasers of suburbia knew they were witnesses to such a culinary crime?

Nevertheless, Ikea found themselves accused of cultural appropriation in Tweets by offended customers after some pointed out they’d even used the wrong kind of rice to accompany those offensive garden peas. While it’s clearly disappointing for customers who experienced such an unflattering imitation, I’d personally be more concerned on just how literally they’d interpreted the Jerk Chicken. Still, just imagine how those on Teesside would feel if the furniture store ever started selling Parmos with a little bit of grated parmesan cheese instead of half a kilo of melted luminous cheddar – many would barely be left with the energy to make it through the maze of the never-ending in-store corridor, let alone have the will to assemble anything they bought.

Talking of trying to assemble something with dubious instructions and without all the necessary tools, Jonathan Woodgate’s collection of remnants left over from Aitor Karanka, Garry Monk and Tony Pulis purchases appear to be missing several crucial pieces with the summer bargain arrivals so far being unable to make them into a unit fit for purpose. Whether the need to square peg unsuitable players into a dynamic 4-3-3 has meant Woodgate has decided that he must pragmatically delay his shift towards his desired philosophy is uncertain. Perhaps the head coach is doing what many new managers in charge often end up doing once they settle into the role and simply start over-thinking and instead try to disrupt the opposition’s game plan at the expense of their own.

The reality is that Woodgate has few credible options on the pitch and it’s only taken a few injuries and a dip in form from some key players to leave his squad looking inadequate for a hopeful outside chance of a promotion challenge. Maybe the Boro coaching team are starting to focus on the immediacy of getting points on the board rather than the long-term ambition of developing a new playing style. OK, it could be argued it was just one game but what if Boro had ended up grinding out a victory instead of that own-goal defeat? Would that have led to the tactic becoming the favoured way to play? It still might but it was pretty far removed from what the team under Woodgate was going to be about and Pulis-lite is never going to be Liverpool-lite no matter what the result.

Take away the entertainment and I suspect a mid-table team of uninspiring drift will quickly become the downfall of the new head coach. Many have probably accepted the inexperience and lack of quality signings as a necessary result of financial restraint, but if the vision of heading towards an exciting brand of football becomes just an aspiration that must await the arrival of better players some time in the future, then patience will be short-lived if results are not significantly improved.

Boro now have three games in a week before the next proroguing of the football season as we head towards another international break. The first on Saturday sees Garry Monk return with his new club Sheffield Wednesday after he was sacked by Birmingham over a dispute involving the use of his agent James Featherstone in the club’s transfer dealings – something that was also echoed by Steve Gibson in the summer over the purchases he made at Boro after the owner claimed it had cost the club several million pounds after the duo were allegedly complicit in hiking the asking price of transfer targets such as Ashley Fletcher.

The former manager will no doubt receive a deservedly loud vocal reception at the Riverside, though it’s unlikely he will be dropping in after the game for a glass of wine with the chairman. Incidentally, Monk is still only 40 years old but is now onto his fifth managerial appointment after also having spells at Swansea and Leeds – it could be argued that he has performed worse with each post he has taken up and perhaps it will highlight the nature of managerial merry-go-round to Woodgate as he starts his career in charge. Although, the Owls new manager has currently avoided defeat in his new post after a win and a draw against two of the teams relegated from the Premier League in Huddersfield and Fulham – third time lucky hopefully.

Before Boro head to Birmingham for the Friday televised game to face Monk’s previous club (who still have his former assistant Pep Clotet as caretaker manager), Tuesday sees Boro entertain a Preston team that are currently up in third place. After recovering from two defeats in their opening three games, Alex Neil’s side have put together an unbeaten run in their last five games that have seen them drop just two points from the maximum 15. Both of these home fixtures may well determine the shape of Boro’s season and Woodgate can’t probably afford to lose either and indeed must win at least one of them. It will take the new head coach up to his landmark tenth game in charge and the point at which he will face a judgement on how he has fared. The table below shows how Boro’s recent managers have fared in their opening ten games in charge.

          W   D   L    F    A   Pts
Karanka   5   2   3   15    9   17
Monk      4   3   3   11    7   15
Pulis     4   2   4   14   11   14
Mowbray   4   1   5   12   11   13
Woodgate* 2   4   4   10   14   10
Strachan  2   2   6   12   14    8

* updated after game 10

Needless to say, failure to win either of those games could make him one of Boro’s worst performing new manager after his first ten games since the club’s initial relegation to the Championship under Southgate. The good news is that he can’t replace Gordon Strachan at the bottom of that mini-league as he already has nine points – plus if he were to win both games then he’d be up there with Garry Monk himself on 15 points and above his predecessor and mentor Tony Pulis. Whether as another Tony once said that the hand of history is upon his shoulder is possibly overstating matters, but to quote yet another Tony, life under Woodgate looks like “It is what it is.”

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 7-8

Sat 14 Sep – 15:00: Boro v Reading Sat 21 Sep – 15:00: Cardiff v Boro

After the pregnant pause of the eerily silent international break, those who appreciate good timing on Teesside will be hoping that it will be followed by the significant sound of a second victory being greeted at the Riverside this weekend. Indeed, many of the expectant supporters will be hoping that the team can reproduce the promising display shown at Ashton Gate and make a push to deliver that overdue bundle of joy that is three rather than just the one point.

Boro’s rebirth under Jonathan Woodgate has not been without pain and much of what has been witnessed at home has looked more than a little laboured at times. OK, the recruitment issues arising from budgetary contractions have induced the new head coach to rely on more inexperienced players than he may have wished. While that may have been born of necessity, the rather youthful defence has been breached far too easily at times and is proving costly.

Complications arising from injuries have further exacerbated the problem, with news this week that both George Friend and Jonny Howson have needed operations with promising left-back Hayden Coulson also suffering a setback with his hamstring injury that may keep him sidelined until November. At least Howson’s “bog standard” hernia (according to chief consultant Woodgate’s diagnosis) will only strain the squad for a few weeks as he explained “Gone are the days where you push mesh in, now it’s just a quick clip of the right nerve and you’re OK” – though it’s possible that leading Harley Street practitioners may describe their work in more expansive terms when sending the invoice. Indeed, given the apparent simplicity of such techniques, we could soon see the day when the trainer runs onto the field of play and performs the procedure there and then, before finishing off with the magic sponge. The operation may even be displayed on the big screen for those who can’t wait until the evening for their Casualty fix.

While that all sounds not too serious, the extent of George’s condition is not so clear after he also underwent an operation this week – once again Woodgate got technical as he explained “I’m waiting to hear off the doc what they found when they opened George up”. If the Boro head coach is lucky perhaps they discovered a 20-goal a season striker or even some cash for January – though feel free to insert your own jokes about finding no change! Nevertheless, despite seemingly displaying what appeared little more than just a basic knowledge of general anatomical issues, Woodgate suddenly surpassed his pay grade when he went on to describe Coulson condition “There’s a slight tendon issue with the rectus femoris which isn’t ideal.” I suspect many would have to concur that any issue involving the rectus doesn’t sound ideal – although, such detailed knowledge of the condition did surprise many but that was soon cleared up when the injury-blighted gaffer added somewhat ominously “I know because I’ve had the same injury.” Still, it wasn’t all bad news on the injury front, it’s been announced Rudy Gestede should be returning after Reading – though it’s not exactly clear what it was he’d been reading to keep him sidelined.

One player who seemed to have been reborn after his showing against Bristol was Britt Assombalonga, who arguably put in one of his best displays in recent months – possibly nine. Apparently, it wasn’t down to anything Robbie Keane had been involved in (hopefully) but rather the misfiring striker had been re-energised and sharpened up following the birth of his second child shortly before the Saturday lunchtime game. Woodgate had allowed Assombalonga to remain in London until just a few hours before the game and it seemed to have worked well.

The Boro boss said after the game that “His wife should have babies more often to be honest with you because I thought he was really good.” Whether his wife would contemplate such an idea to improve her husband’s potency in front of goal is possibly a subject that is probably best avoided until she’s at least recovered from the ordeal of giving birth. Although, having said that, we shouldn’t read too much into the fact that they’ve named their baby boy ‘August’ as ‘September’ is probably not to be expected in the next few weeks – not unless the club have secretly embarked on the kind of surrogacy programme that would provide the academy team with a glut of Assombalongas in years to come.

Perhaps Britt’s form was not down to being lifted by the actually birth but it instead may have proved to be the end of his suffering from Couvade Syndrome. Many may know the condition instead as that of men who experience pregnancy symptoms out of sympathy. OK, anecdotal evidence of such sympathy on Teesside is often only fleeting but researchers (predominantly by men seeking attention one presumes) has shown that some fathers-to-be endure cramps, back pain, mood swings, food cravings, morning sickness, extreme tiredness, depression, irritability, fainting and toothache. In fact some even develop swollen stomachs that look like a ‘baby bump’ one study found – with symptoms becoming worse the longer the pregnancy went on. Although, it’s not clear whether the men in the study spent an inordinate amount of time standing around in the pub drinking beer and complaining.

One father-to-be told researchers that he actually experience contractions and they started mild and then got stronger and stronger and stronger. Another claimed “I think I was in more pain than she was. It seemed like my pain was worse.” – hopefully for his long-term health he didn’t mention this out loud to his wife at the time. Others purported to have had cravings, with a man explaining “I was constantly hungry and had an unstoppable craving for chicken kormas and poppadams – even in the early hours of the morning.” – which was presumably shortly after he’d dragged himself out of the pub. In all, eleven of the men from the study sought help from their GPs and even underwent tests but no physical causes were found.

But before the cynical among you dismiss such a condition as unlikely, the evidence in Britt’s case appears overwhelming. It would certainly explain that penalty that went sailing over the bar as he no doubt experienced the baby kicking at such a crucial moment – although it’s possibly debatable whether any child of Assombalonga would be able to kick with such precision and timing. Nevertheless, the lack of energy has been apparent for some weeks now and that look of depression may not have been down to playing as the lone striker under Tony Pulis after all.

Anyway, enough of this baby talk – football is apparently a man’s game as one former old-school Welsh manager would say (even if women are now playing it pretty well) and he’d be more than willing to provide any players who under-perform with more than sympathy pains. Woodgate is actually looking for leaders on the pitch, particularly talkers now that both Friend and Howson are sidelined. He explained “I need voices on the training ground, at times you can’t hear anyone talk. You have to talk. You can help the game so much if you talk a little, even the odd word.” Whether those odd words included “Please don’t dribble on the edge of your box Ryan” was not made clear but it seems the main man for talking is Clayton. The Boro boss informed us that “Clayts is constantly talking to players out there, looking for a reaction. He has little reminders for the players of what they need to do. If you don’t have anyone shouting you will be running round in circles.” Some supporters may have thought the Boro midfielders specialised in running around in circles last season so hopefully Clayton will resist the temptation to instruct his team-mates to keep passing it sideways.

Dael Fry has emerged as the new Boro captain after returning from injury against Bristol and it’s perhaps his vocal contribution on the pitch that has impressed Woodgate. Fry himself was quite surprised to be named captain, which he was informed of just before stepping on the coach for the journey south. Hopefully the responsibility won’t distract him from his own game as he appeared to have some culpability in both of Bristol’s goals. Ayala is fit again and may yet get the armband but it’s perhaps something that may keep Fry at the club if further offers arrive in January – on that basis perhaps it’s not too late to make Gestede club captain to encourage another bid from Turkey!

Despite a promising display last time out, Woodgate needs to start winning games if the season is not going to become a difficult baptism for life as a head coach. Averaging a point a game is not going to keep the supporters happy for much longer and even though he’s had to deal with a small squad and injuries to key players, he’ll be keen to put a few wins on the board in the next few weeks. While players like McNair, Fletcher and Johnson have upped their game, a few of the players are yet to show their form of last season – most notably Lewis Wing. The new signings have blown hot and cold at times but Woodgate will be hoping his players can soon find some consistency if he’s to avoid being the one left holding the baby when it’s time for a change.

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 5-6

Sat 31 Aug – 12:30: Bristol City v Boro

The Positivity Society have once again opted against holding their annual conference on Teesside this year, which I suspect was merely an oversight rather than concerns over attendance. While it’s not clear how many members the local branch has, one presumes they will not view the decision too negatively. Nevertheless, despite its well documented health benefits, the power of positive thinking is actively shunned by the Boro faithful. This is despite a recent scientific study showing that people with a more optimistic outlook actually live longer – to which those who specialise in avoiding a disposition that could be regarded as remotely sunny would no doubt retort “that will teach them.”

One man who is not yet experiencing the full positive vibe on Teesside is Jonathan Woodgate and after picking up just one win in his first five games it has left many giving self-confirmatory furtive glances at sealed gold envelopes standing on their respective mantelpieces that simply contain the hand-written phrase ‘I told you so’. Of course one-of-our-own etiquette demands these envelopes can’t be pushed to the fore to reveal their contents until at least after game ten – that would show indecent haste for the ‘give the lad a chance’ inner-voice that most have to battle against. Though to be fair, it doesn’t seem that the collective psychic ability of Teesside has been set a high bar for ascertaining their paranormal aptitude. Even one of Middlesbrough’s most famous sons, the late Paul Daniels, would regard such an illusion as unworthy of cranking up the dry-ice machine as he anticipated “you’re going to like the man in charge at Boro – though not a lot.”

Although, it’s still very early days in his tenure, the new head coach has not seen his players produce much in the way of the crazy high-energy entertaining football that was delivered in that season-opening fixture. While Woodgate remains philosophical over his team’s sanitised manifestation of his intended philosophy, it seems some Boro supporters always thought it was madness to have expected a novice coaching team could oversee a transition from no-frills functional football to a high-thrills expansive game – especially in the context of a considerably down-sized budget that made even bargains appear profligate.

Extravagant rumours that the boardroom panelling had been replaced with padding may have been far fetched, though a few wished those less-scientific men in white coats should have perhaps intervened to prevent the season descending into madness before it had begun. As to whether we should try to discover if Woodgate could still do the job while wearing a club-shop straitjacket is perhaps an experiment too far – though some would argue that since he’s already been trying to do the task with one hand tied behind his back, having both would offer only a slightly increased handicap.

From day one, the Nunthorpe number one has tried his best to say the right things to the Boro faithful as he declared that he had a vision of a way forward that could seemingly straddle the wild horses of ambition and aesthetics as they appeared to bolt in opposite directions. As Teesside prepared themselves to enjoy the ride, it was perhaps not only loyalties that were in danger of being split – though many worried that the chairman had handed the reigns to a novice rider who was not ready to be saddled with the expectations that came from the unbridled passion of the supporters.

While Woodgate was able to say all the right things before the season began, inevitably once games are played it becomes a different task as people seek explanation for what has come to pass. OK, he may have gone too soon with “it is what it is”, which shouldn’t necessarily be held against him, but it was surely a mistake to declare that Boro fans are like Scousers. Ok, before I add “Calm down, calm down” to those enraged among you at such a comparison, the context was in terms of ‘knowing’ football and what he was trying to achieve at Boro as he proclaimed of the supporters “They’re not stupid they know what the crack is [something Robbie must have told him] and what we’re working on, Middlesbrough fans know their football, they’re like the Scousers. People can’t pull wool over their eyes, they know what is happening so they will stay with us and they will be patient.” Whether patience is a virtue that the good folk of Teesside share with those on Merseyside remains to be seen – however, there was more than a suspicion of wool tugging over the summer by the club hierarchy but not everyone’s view was obscured by the yarns that were spun as the inevitable appointment of Woodgate loomed – perhaps it’s just the woolly thinking that is obstructing the vision of the club.

Whatever the merits of the summer appointment and the subsequent attempt at ameliorating the decision with the promise of a new brand of attacking football and a shift towards youth, it’s ultimately results or at the very least performances that signal that club are heading in the right direction. The absence of a coherent shape and understanding between players in recent games has left doubts on the terraces that the much vaunted philosophy is going to be delivered in time to give the season any real momentum. Indeed, there have been few signs that the high-press is still on the agenda and the less said about a shift to scoring more goals after the binary offerings since that Luton goal-fest, the better.

Clearly work needs to be done on the training pitch if this new template is to have any chance of success but that’s not easy during a Championship campaign that quickly becomes an attritional journey of recovery and preparation for the next opposition. Finding space to work on the pattern of play and building relationships and understanding among the players is going to be a difficult ask – especially if the coaching team are still unsure of exactly how to proceed as they experiment with who can best fit into each position or want to operate a squad rotation policy to keep everyone fresh or happy. I suspect the international break can’t come too soon for Woodgate as he tries to regroup and rediscover the high-energy performances that haven’t really been seen since the first blistering game-and-a-half of football.

Though what Woodgate has discovered is that it’s going to be much harder to change the risk-averse mindset of his more experienced players while also simultaneously channelling the raw enthusiasm of youth into a dynamic ball-playing team. He’s more than once declared that he has a thin squad, which most observers would agree is ill-equipped for the transition from the passive functional defeat-avoiding game-plan to the pro-active creative force that will sweep the opposition aside. The summer arrival of three low-key projects that even Sergio Leone would struggle to create an inspired box-office title from (possibly The Good value, the not Bad and the Untidy) hasn’t exactly increased competition for places. Boro are still lacking a splash of colour on the beigeness that still exists and it seems the new recruitment collective have already moved onto identifying their January Window targets.

While few will be anticipating they will be game-changers it’s been often quoted that a manager needs three transfer windows to shape their squad. However, it sounds more like a cliché adopted from the likes of Pep Guardiola, who can actively land significant targets that have the ability to impose themselves on games and add the missing ingredients. The reality for a hard-up Championship manager is that he’ll only be adding a vaguely alternative option to the mix – that’s if they can actually be persuaded to make the trek up to the frozen wilderness of Teesside in mid-winter. Many of the Boro faithful would argue that given the performance of our recruitment department, then perhaps thirty-three transfer windows rather than just the three is a more realistic period. In truth, three transfer windows will most likely see the club losing key players and needing to find adequate cheaper replacements. The three window rule is probably just another mechanism to buy time before being judged – especially as half of the managers rarely last to the fourth.

Despite the transfer window being closed for purchases, there’s still an opportunity to both ship out unwanted players and possibly sign so-called free agents. Reports emerged last week that Rudy Gestede was being targeted by Turkish champions Besiktas – plus they may even be prepared to pay money too! However, Woodgate seems determined to hold onto his third-choice striker as he has no other senior options in attack should injury beset either Assombalonga or Fletcher, who also can’t be expected to play in every Championship game – though that hardly sounds like a ringing endorsement for a player who has failed to make an impact in three years. It would surely make sense to offload one of the high-earners and possibly replace him with a free agent if his role is primarily one of cover.

Indeed, there has been much speculation of whether there are some free agents who could be added to the Boro squad – though talk of the getting the likes of former Swansea and Man City hitman Wilfried Boni may ultimately turn out to be an expensive option. City paid Swansea £28m for the striker five years ago but the 30-year old is now without a club and currently training with League Two Newport County to maintain his fitness – if only Woodgate knew someone with local connections to make a call to enquire over his availability. There are also some other famous forwards available, including Benteke (albeit Jonathan rather than Christian), Cissé (that’s Sekou not Djibril) and even Alves (thankfully Magno instead of Afonso). Still, if it’s a famous sounding name you’re after and you can’t quite afford Ronaldo then what about Reinaldo or possibly Reynaldo? Perhaps Boro should simply sign a striker for their alliterative qualities with free-agents Víctor Villa or Fernando Fernández offering a different class of names to fill the bench.

Sadly, I suspect we may need to wait until January before anyone arrives but at least Dael Fry should soon be set to return to the starting line-up after his appearance on the bench last weekend. It seems Fry has become the most important player at the club in his absence as the only credible option to bring the ball out of defence with out losing it just outside our own box. Having said that, Darren Randolph has made a late bid to become the go-to ball-playing central defender of choice after his recent exploits as a sweeper-keeper. Though despite young Dael’s obvious talent, it is perhaps stretching matters to presume he is the missing link that has so far prevented Woodgate’s philosophy from becoming reality – he will still eventually need somebody to pass the ball to if he succeeds in travelling 20 yards with the ball. Indeed, given the ambition it was an odd decision to drop Lewis Wing in favour of the less creative George Saville for Millwall’s visit – even if it was simply a reward to allow him to play against his former club. Surely, retaining the services of your playmaker and best passer of the ball should negate any sentimentality – even if his shooting has been below standard in recent weeks.

This week also gives a chance to watch some of the youngsters in the Caraboa Cup – OK, unfortunately not Boro’s following their meek exit against Crewe but Woodgate may at least spot someone to add to his January shopping list. Incidentally, Crewe were thrashed 6-1 at home by Villa’s second-string team so it may have been a convenient opportunity missed to risk more questions being asked. Instead, Boro have been given a whole week to prepare for the Saturday lunchtime trip to Bristol City before mulling over matters during the international break. Woodgate’s team is trundling along on a point a game and still flirting with the relegation zone, therefore any points brought back from Bristol would be welcome and it’s also perhaps a concern that three of the teams Boro have so far played (Luton, Brentford and Wigan) sit below them in the table.

This was never going to be an easy season for Boro and any manager appointed would require time to adjust to the new financial landscape at the club. Woodgate has started his career as a number one with a desire to play football, score goals and entertain in the process. Whether the reality of also needing points on the board will help or hinder that process is something that will become more apparent with time. The noises before the season began were that Boro could still compete for a play-off place but the summer business didn’t appear to make that look like a priority. Steve Gibson would surely not accept a struggle at the bottom end of the table if the club is carrying a similar wage bill to the one Karanka was given to win promotion.

The problems facing Woodgate and Keane are that they most likely don’t have the tools for what they are attempting to build. In the coming weeks they need to find a way to win games and avoid seeing the season quickly become one of damage limitation. I suspect their hopes that the Teesside public will be patient may be misplaced as that has been worn very thin after essentially two seasons of poor football and wasted parachute payments. Remaining positive may become increasingly harder for most Boro followers as that research mentioned previously also concluded that people were probably genetically disposed to be either optimists or pessimists – and we all know which gene is normally expressed in the DNA on Teesside!

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 3-4

Tue 13 Aug – 19:45: Boro v Crewe (EFL Cup)
Sat 17 Aug – 15:00: Blackburn v Boro
Tue 20 Aug – 19:45: Boro v Wigan
Sat 24 Aug – 15:00: Boro v Millwall

Jonathan Woodgate had proclaimed before the season started it was going to be an exciting time to be a Boro supporter as he promised to bring back entertainment to the Riverside. Indeed, the first home game against Brentford started as advertised with more energy and action on display in the first 45 minutes than most had witnessed since the introduction of the free pre-match pint, which most had presumed was normally designed to numb the senses before the football had. However, when it comes to describing entertainment, perhaps that angry influential retro Modfather himself, Mr P Weller, summed it up rather succinctly in his early eighties single with the line “Lights going out and a kick in the balls – I say that’s entertainment.” While that rather dark and painful view of entertainment may not fit most sane individual’s aspirations, it certainly summed up the narrative of Boro faithful at the final whistle on Saturday.

Somewhat surprisingly, the Pavlovian boos instinctively rang out from the terraces as a one-nil home defeat was not what many had been expecting after the goal-fest at Luton. It was as the Jam classic had intimated, a low blow in the tender regions. Some maybe saw it as confirmation of their fears that an inexperienced head coach with fairly inexperienced squad were going to struggle to deliver. It perhaps always was going to be the preserve of a significant section at the Riverside who had always believed Woodgate’s appointment represented down-sizing dressed up as a new way forward – the promise of jam tomorrow is never going to please the impatient who believe losing is poor entertainment in whatever form it manifests itself.

Nevertheless, patience is what will be required and it may be time the Boro faithful accept that Woodgate’s attempt to introduce a new philosophy of high energy football will not be without its risks and setbacks. In truth, it’s a work in progress and the new coaching team will be learning on the job as they discover what the players and indeed themselves are capable of – or even incapable. Although, the transfer window demonstrated that the plan to switch to young hungry players wasn’t necessarily by design but in reality a plan that financial restraints have forced upon the club.

As the summer business concluded without any significant expenditure – under £2.5m was spent on just four players Mejias (Free), Bola (around £100k), Browne (around £250k) and Dijksteel (£2m). That was more than easily balanced by the sales of Flint (£4m) and Braithwaite (around £5m) with Shotton almost departing on deadline day for £1.6m too. Players are still essentially being sold to lower the wage bill and probably help raise funds to pay for it now that parachute payments have ended. The pig has been let out of the bag as the worst kept secret on Teesside has revealed Boro have run out of funds to blow on players.

A reality which can be neatly summarised by the dour stock phrase of one local former central defender and former manager, which has this week been rebooted by another local former central defender and the newly appointed head coach: “it is what it is”. The articulation of acceptance that Teesside’s famous sons are powerless to resist invoking, which will no doubt become a post-match sound-bite contest between the two as they pick over the bones of contention after this weekend’s encounter between Mogga’s Rovers and Woody’s young pups.

The heady days of Steve Gibson blowing the big boys out of the water with his big-name captures belong to a different age – this is now a chairman of financial compliance who now points the finger at those who try to spend more than they are allowed. The aspiration to join the elite has become a lot harder to finesse as the world of football continues to reward players with higher and more ridiculous contracts and pay transfer fees that seemingly make no financial sense. At the top end, these deals are often financed on ambitiously extrapolated image rights earnings that simply hand more and more power to the ‘superstar’ players and their poker-faced smug agents. At some point clubs will realise a model based on shifting a plethora of globally merchandised shirts bearing their prized asset’s name on the back just increases the power of the player at their expense. Even fickle supporters won’t buy a shirt with the name of someone who has declared they don’t want to play for the club any longer. They have them over barrel and there will be few laughs from bank manager – not if you were planning to sell merchandise to pay the bills.

Still, despite the less than frenetic transfer activity, which appeared to fall short of what Woodgate had been expecting his recruitment team were going to deliver, Boro have almost discovered three new signings by default. Few would have thought Marvin Johnson would have re-emerged as a first choice attacking threat after looking favourite for a summer exit, the peripheral Paddy McNair has also finally been given a chance to prove he is the dynamic midfielder that the club apparently signed before versatility consigned him to the bench and youngster Hayden Coulsen has forced his way into the team with displays of energy and determination.

Woodgate admitted his squad looked thin but he still hasn’t given much pitch time to the new recruits of Bola, Browne and Dijksteel. With Fry and Friend set to return from injury too, he will soon have around 18 players to choose from for his starting eleven. Fry will no doubt return in defence but it’s hard to see where club captain Friend will find a starting place – perhaps he will take on the role that Leadbitter did and mainly be an influence in the dressing room. Number one target Dijksteel has actually only played a handful of games at right-back – probably less than Howson – so it will be interested to see how he fares in the role at Championship level. Likewise, Bola is an unknown quantity after stepping up a division – they will join their Boro academy counterparts in vying for pitch time.

The aim of the new management team is to develop the players through new coaching techniques and not just the young players. We learned in a recent interview to the press that Robbie Keane is man who gained an advantage as a striker by being able to visualise his surroundings and then holding this image in his head. OK, some techniques work better than others with players and he may need to tweak any advice he perhaps gave for penalties in imagining the goal was bigger and the keeper smaller. It seems the goal was not quite as big as Britt had visualised after he attempted to blast the ball under the crossbar of one with unfeasibly large dimensions.

Undeterred by this setback, no doubt Keane as we speak is persisting in teaching the Boro strikers how to hold a mental image of their surroundings. “OK, now try to visualise who’s behind you Britt” – “I can’t imagine there’s anyone behind me boss.” Robbie impatiently responded: “No that was last season we’ve changed the fecking system now – so who’s behind you?” Britt ponders the question: “Is it the crowd?” “Now steady on big fella, I tink you fecking getting way ahead of yer self. OK, one last time, who’s behind you?” Britt squints hard and makes a guess: “Is it Clayts?” A rather exasperated Keane explodes: “No it’s not fecking Clayts – he’s still in front of defence! Anyway, training’s over now and there’s nobody fecking behind you Eejit. Get off the pitch.” Note: Robbie Keane is available for pantomime bookings in December.

While it may be this kind of passing on of knowledge that could improve the performances of the more experienced players – it will be the ability to bring through youngsters that will determine whether the Woodgate project ultimately succeeds. Getting down with the kids, or should I say ‘kidz’, is what Boro will hopefully be all about as they aim to supersede the older, more expensive players on Boro’s books. Clearly if you want to relate to the youth then you will need to speak their language. The older supporters among you will be occasionally baffled by the words and indeed the gratuitous ignoring of spelling that the social media generation communicate with. Thankfully, there are some easy shortcuts that can get you by and this can be demonstrated through how some young artists name their tunes.

Now some may be thinking that simply swapping the letter ‘s’ for a ‘z’ wouldn’t fool many but I was reassured to discover that’s all there is to it. Miley Cyrus, her of transition from innocent family entertainment as Hannah Montana to wannabe bad girl of pop, infamous ‘twerker’ and singer of the hit ‘Wrecking Ball’ (incidentally, no relation to the earlier Paul Weller line referenced) made the headlines in the summer with some rather sad news. She announced on Instagram with a video of her herself holding her pet pig over her shoulder as it was fed an apple that it had died. “Very sad to say… my dear friend Pig Pig [as she rather imaginatively named it] has passed away…. I will miss u always.” She apparently adopted Pig Pig in August 2014 following the death of her pet dog Floyd (possibly also known as Dog Dog), which inspired her 2015 album ‘Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz’ – can you see what she did there with the spelling? The album contained a special written tribute entitled ‘The Floyd Song (Sunrise)’, which she wrote while on the ‘Bangerz Tour’ (did you notice that spelling again) and closed with ‘Twinkle Song’, dedicated to her friend’s dead cat.

While such creativity is something most can only aspire to, those of you that have not already been moved to download her album may be wondering what ‘Bangerz’ means. Thankfully, her Atlanta-bred hip-hop producer, Mike Will (also known rather surprising as Michael Williams) can explain. “The whole album was bangers, and that’s actually how she came up with the title,” Williams says. “Everybody was like, ‘Yo, so how’s your album sounding?’ And we were just saying, ‘We got all bangers.’ ” – hopefully that has cleared up the mystery. Incidentally, it was perhaps a little insensitive by the Independent online newspaper to run the story of the death of Pig Pig alongside their lifestyle piece with the headline ‘How to prepare your BBQ for a sizzling summer’ – still I suppose all pigs eventually become Bangerz in the end. Maybe we should reflect the next time we hear Pig Pig Bag.

Anyway, talking of hungry players, Boro’s new signings will get a chance to show their appetite for the club in the first round of the Carabao Cup on Tuesday – with expected starts for Bola, Browne and Dijksteel, plus likely season bows for Tavernier and Wood and some game time for George Friend, Saville and Gestede. While big Rudy will be surrounded by youngsters, he should remember that getting down with the kids shouldn’t involve getting into any rowz – when it comes to mixing misplaced shooting and trendy spellíng, row-z is still row-z in any language.

Hopefully the Woodgate project will see some more energetic games in the next few weeks – the Carabao Cup encounter with Crewe is quickly followed with a trip to Mogga’s Blackburn and then come back-to-back home games against Wigan and Millwall. I suspect Boro will need to deliver a couple of wins to take the pressure off and then we’ll be up and running. It’s still too early to decide if this will be a season that sees the club competing at the top end of the table and preferably not languishing too close to our current 18th spot. As Woodgate and his team go in search of footballing Nirvana, at least the faithful should expect an exciting journey with a more youthful blend that certainly smells like teen spirit – Teesside awaits “Here we are now, entertain us!”

Championship 2019-20: Weeks 1-2

Fri  2 Aug – 19:45: Luton v Boro
Thu  8 Aug – 17:00: Transfer Window Closes
Sat 10 Aug – 15:00: Boro v Brentford

It’s still July, the kids on Teesside have barely packed away their school books, some are even anticipating the start of the Ashes series, while others have only just stopped watching a Columbian clad in inimitable pre-obesity-epidemic yellow lycra ride his bike expertly into Paris and the newspapers are running out of superlatives to describe the latest record-breaking heatwave that certain world leaders still claim is a Chinese hoax.

However, it’s time to put down that pint of Pimms with its five-a-day portion of fruit plus the rather annoying eye-poking mini-parasol and reach for your mood-enhancing Bovril inhaler. Yes, we must gird our loins (or indeed anything else in need of restraining) in preparation for the start of the mentally-scarring football season that some may once recall heralded the imminent arrival of autumnal sunshine and the simultaneous deflating of both paddling pools and dreams. Sadly, the requirement to shoehorn in plethora of international breaks and still play around 50 gamed means we must put summer relaxation to one side and once again exchange safe words with our families as we begin the journey of self-inflicted torture that being Boro supporter is all about.

Nevertheless, it’s not altogether an unusual experience in early August for many on Teesside to be getting into the party mood as they head to Luton – though admittedly it’s normally to hop on an Easyjet flight to Mallorca rather than expecting an uneasy evening on the terraces hoping their team is ready for take-off and not further delayed. With the loss of parachute payments, it’s possible this season could well be the last call to board the top-flight as our budget appears to be well and truly in the no frills category. It used to be that there were normally no baggage restrictions for players wishing to travel club class at Boro but it looks like many of those are gradually being ushered towards the departure lounge as there is no longer room for expensive passengers.

Indeed, following the end-of-season exits of Messrs Downing, Hugill, Besic and Mikel, our man Flint is now no longer ours and the long-running soap opera that was Martin Braithwaite has finally seen him written out of the script. It would have been daft to seriously expect the club’s highest earner would remain on the payroll given his previous desire to want out and despite all the media feeding that the Dane was “the best player in training by a country mile” and that “his attitude has been fantastic” it wasn’t long before this barely credible positive vibe changed when Woodgate explained his absence from the Heidenheim trip by saying “he’s had a sickness and diarrhoea bug” and followed up the classic throwing a sickie excuse by concluding “We pay Martin’s wages at the end of the day. He said to me he wants to be here, I can only take him at face value, but I’m not daft.” Perhaps ‘face value’ was quite an appropriate turn of phrase as in the end his market value was only half the price Boro paid as he returned to Leganés to join his Spanish tummy and former Saints boss Pellegrino – though who could blame him for opting for life in Madrid and playing in La Liga instead of going through the motions (incidentally not another tummy bug reference) on Teesside in the hard slog that is the Championship.

At least we learned this summer that it was not the club’s fault that some players had previously joined on big transfers and lucrative contracts. Apparently, the club’s hierarchy claim that they may have been duped by former manager Garry Monk and his agent James Featherstone into paying more than necessary for players – arguing in one case that the club paid West Ham £3.5m more for Ashley Fletcher than they should have as Monk knew the Hammers valued him at just £3m when he was Leeds manager. Although, it seems odd that the Boro recruitment team were reliant on the manager for valuations of players – surely this what a chief executive should be deciding as this seems akin to simply signing blank cheques to please your manager. Perhaps we could just diplomatically say that a lesson has been learned – though the subsequent signing of Saville for ten times his valuation of just 12 months earlier would suggest otherwise.

Anyway, this summer the club has hardly (as the new prime minister would say) ‘spaffed up the wall’ any money whatsoever. So far just the free transfer of keeper Tomás Mejías, an undisclosed fee for left-back Marc Bola from Blackpool who has previously been valued at around £100 grand and seemingly a bargain for the pacey Marcus Browne with some London papers reporting an initial fee of only £200 grand – perhaps West Ham have taken pity over the Fletcher deal or even maybe were politely told by Boro to make amends. With still over a week to go before the transfer deadline, few are expecting to see Gibson’s cash being splashed anywhere near a wall by Boro but there hasn’t really been much in the way of demands from impatient supporters to make big (or even moderate) signings either.

It’s as if the faithful have bought into the notion that there is no money even after seeing potentially close to £60m raised in sales during the last 12 months with Gibson, Adama, Bamford, Flint and Braithwaite – perhaps there really isn’t as the wage bill sucked it all up. Boro have possibly entered a phase of what is technically known as ‘managed decline’, it’s an acceptance of the reality of the situation while trying to give an impression that it’s some kind of plan to get more for less. OK, some may believe you can have a better team by slashing costs and spending a lot less than your rivals but that would seem to fly in the face of the fact that success in football is normally bought.

Although, many clubs (including Boro) have proven over the years that success can not be bought – especially as most find it difficult to distinguish between price and value. Despite constant promises not to be held to ransom, it seems the mechanics of the transfer window ultimately encourage supposedly successful businessmen owners to make strange and random financial decisions. It’s like entering a casino with a determination not to spend more than you had decided but then getting caught up in the fervour to win and then making risky gambles until your pockets are emptied. The example of Boro paying £6.5m for Fletcher, along with a lucrative contract, without seemingly putting too much serious work into calculating his actual value was some admission. It essentially means clubs can be persuaded to believe that any price is a good one – it’s an emperor’s new clothes market, a bubble nobody thinks will burst. Someone, somewhere will always pay the price before shortly discovering the goods weren’t as advertised and can’t easily be shifted.

It’s not that Boro have somehow wised up and will now operate on a sensible financial strategy – it’s more that they no longer have the money to gamble it away. Jonathan Woodgate was most likely appointed because he wasn’t going to demand the club spend money – it’s not the same job that Garry Monk was mistakenly trusted with. The question is whether energy, hunger and enthusiasm can overcome the financial handicap. It’s hard to quantify how much money the club have overpaid or wasted since they picked up their PL bounty but at least they’ve opted to avoid making one last gamble that would take years to overcome. If the club can make the play-offs by spending a lot less than their rivals, then it would expose the folly of thinking the quality of players that are not coveted at the top level are reliable or consistent enough to pay a premium for.

Boro appear to be focusing on creating a squad of young players, both from their own academy and through transfer deals. The argument against this strategy is that young players are inconsistent and can’t deliver often enough to provide a promotion platform. However, this is the Championship where those who ply their trade in the second tier are here for precisely that reason – it’s just the market has been inflated by increased parachute payments and financial fair play busting accountancy loopholes used by billionaire investors. While some players may lack quality, others lack speed and a few lack a brain capable of avoiding making the same mistakes – indeed some may even possess all three attributes. Few players in the Championship tick all the proverbial boxes and in the end it’s about finding the right balance between what your players are capable of and what you are asking them to do.

Are Woodgate, Keane and Leo going to achieve more with less and do what Monk and Pulis couldn’t? After some mixed pre-season performances, the last outing against St Etienne showed promise and the team at least now play on the front foot after the predominantly loss-avoiding Pulis tactics. While Woodgate’s team scored goals against lower league opposition, they didn’t manage to score from open play against better French and German sides. Unsurprisingly, they also looked less solid defensively than under Pulis and it will be the ability of the team to score goals that will counteract a less mean defence.

The return of Randolph in goal and Fry in front of him will improve the defence but whether new signing Marc Bola at left-back and Howson as right-back will ultimately leave us exposed on the flanks is the fear with the more progressive 4-3-3. As it stands only Britt looks capable of scoring regularly as both Fletcher and Gestede seemingly lack belief and ability respectively. The addition of pace to the side is welcome but goals still require a goal scorer and unless Woodgate is to avoid talking about missed chances like his predecessor, then he will need another finisher.

So as Boro prepare to start their campaign at Luton on Friday under the glare of the TV cameras, the squad looks like it could provide the new head coach with a decent starting eleven but still contains players who ideally should be moved on and youngsters that are probably not quite ready. What happens in the next week before the deadline could determine whether this will be anything other than finding out if the new plan can work on a modest budget. At least the opening ten fixtures appear to have handed Woodgate a less demanding start to his managerial career than it could have been. Expectations of the Boro faithful have probably been reduced but the hope of promotion still lurk at the back of the mind as optimistically they believe that before a ball is kicked it’s going to be a good season. The sun is still shining, the dark clouds have not yet arrived – it’s the best time to be a football supporter as your club has yet to disappoint!

As Tony Pulis left Boro’s mountain training camp in Austria last summer, it’s unclear if he uttered that infamous monotone phrase of “I’ll be back” that he inadvertently borrowed from one of that country’s more famous sons. Still, this year the players arrived without the Welsh cyborg in human form after he mutually agreed with Steve Gibson not to return from the dystopian future he was seemingly intent on maintaining. In fact given the recent turnover of managers on Teesside, it’s clear that there’s only room for one terminator on Teesside and the Boro chairman has already proved himself quite capable in that department. Nevertheless, it’s apparent from the pre-season program that Pulis is still the ghost in the machine and the muscle memory of old-school double alpine training sessions may have a few players wishing for the arrival of judgement day. At least the Boro faithful were no doubt relieved to discover that when the club were being linked with Bad Aussee it was just the training camp and not an over-priced misfiring striker from down under.

As much as the departure of Tony Pulis was generally welcomed, many Boro supporters initially greeted the appointment of Jonathan Woodgate with all the stony-faced enthusiasm that Theresa May mustered for her impromptu handshake with Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit. As the underwhelmed faithful start to accept in true Teesside spirit that it is what it is, most will now be looking at just how successful new head coach will be in reshaping the squad for the upcoming season. In case anyone has not yet heard, the solemn mood music that the Hurworth string quartet has been diligently etching into the Teesside subconscious is that the club are now playing to a different tune – with a lot fewer notes in evidence now that the Premier League windfall has been all but blown. Boro are now embarking on Plan C after a swift return to the land of plenty was not the breeze it was initially hoped it would be and the subsequent over-cautious Plan B had become more toxic than some of those odd coloured plumes that had bestowed the Smoggies with their nostalgic moniker.

Rather strangely, the sympathetic violins were perhaps lacking in their usual fervour as Tony Pulis exited stage left in June and while he was personally admired by those who worked with him, the unimpressed on the terraces had grown weary of the concept of entertainment playing second fiddle to the off-key Welshman’s less than pitch perfect tactical displays – which ultimately had very few demanding an encore. However, Steve Gibson once again opted against picking up a Stradivarius to begin the next movement in the managerial suite and instead reached for a less coveted untested instrument made from cheaper wood. The hopeful hunch (to paraphrase the chairman) is that this next appointment will resonate with the players and orchestrate the arrival of a new exciting era of bold high-energy performances that get the crowd out of their red plastic seats. The new man, we are frequently told by the local media, has many strings to his bow and he will certainly need to show evidence of them if he is to pull off the plucky plan of getting more with less.

Whether, the chairman has enough room to manoeuvre to back his new man financially is uncertain and it remains to be seen if Boro will pay the price for over-indulging Garry Monk two years ago after he was seemingly allowed to pizzicato the bulk of the club’s promotion budget up the wall. OK, it’s not quite about Gibson pleading poverty and giving us a less yiddish Teesside rendition of ‘If I were a rich man’ – as it’s now no longer an issue of having an owner prepared inject cash but one of compliance with Football League financial regulations. Although when it comes to adhering to the rules, it has to be said that in this particularly version of the song, the fiddler is no longer to be found on the roof but is instead busy (all day long) devising a series of shell companies to internally resell club assets to raise profits rather than declaring “I’d biddy biddy bum” (whatever that means) in the more traditional manner mentioned.

Talking of someone who had hoped he wouldn’t have to work hard (particularly in a Boro shirt), Martin Braithwaite has surprisingly been allowed to chuck his toys back into his pram and head back to Teesside. While everyone has started with the proverbial clean slate under the new regime, it’s unlikely that the less than committed Dane will pass the hunger test that Woodgate has indicated he wants his players to demonstrate they possess – though it’s always possible Braithwaite may always opt for a hunger strike to push through a move this time round if potential suitors are unwilling to match Boro’s vaulation. Besides, it’s difficult to imagine a player who is seemingly on Premier League wages being rehabilitated back into the squad when Stewart Downing was kept on the bench for nearly half a season to prevent the club being exposed to a similar outlay in the event of triggering a contract extension. Nevertheless, the perennial loan-seeker cost the club around £9m and Boro may be seeking to squeeze as much out of a potential buyer as possible by giving at least the impression that he’s wanted.

Indeed, this is something that could apply to several names in the Boro squad who may have already been mentally stamped with ‘surplus to requirements’ by the club but their wanted status remains publicly vague for commercial reason – i.e. the Rudy Gestede’s and Marvin Johnson’s of this world. The problem as ever is finding buyers who can match the level of contracts these players currently enjoy at Boro. It was no secret that two years ago the strategy for persuading players to come to Teesside generally involved offering them lucrative deals – as well as paying over the odds on transfer fees. Shifting devalued assets is never easy and they may ultimately remain at the club with other players who are more coveted being sold to raise funds instead. Paddy McNair appears to be one such player with rumours of Celtic and newly promoted Sheffield United apparently showing interest – though if that interest firms up it would be hard to persuade a player to remain in the Championship after being predominantly overlooked last season.

Player	Mins	Starts	Sub-On	Subbed	Goals
GOALKEEPERS
Darren Randolph	4140	46	–	–	–
Andy Lonergan	0	–	–	–	–
DEFENDERS
Aden Flint	3454	39	–	1	1
George Friend	3271	37	1	2	2
Ryan Shotton	2877	33	1	4	–
Dael Fry	2865	33	1	4	–
Daniel Ayala	2722	32	1	4	1
MIDFIELDERS
Jonny Howson	3943	44	2	5	1
George Saville	2519	28	6	9	4
Adam Clayton	2491	29	7	8	–
Muhamed Bešic	2272	30	7	24	2
Lewis Wing	1798	19	9	7	3
John Mikel	1600	18	–	2	1
Paddy McNair	733	7	9	2	–
FORWARDS
Britt Assombalonga	2683	28	14	15	14
Stewart Downing	2337	24	14	12	2
Jordan Hugill	1870	20	17	9	6
Ashley Fletcher	1156	14	7	10	5
Martin Braithwaite	1107	12	5	9	3
Marcus Tavernier	482	2	18	2	3
Rudy Gestede	109	1	3	1	–
Marvin Johnson	0	–	–	–	–

It’s unlikely that Boro will be able to keep all their high earners and remain within the rules that Steve Gibson is insisting the Championship should enforce – not even if the Riverside is sold to Bulkhaul Ltd as a potential storage site and leased back to MFC while they await planning permission. Whether it would be a deal breaker if Mark Page wasn’t allowed to remain on site is unclear but one would hope that construction workers could be provided with suitable ear protection. Still we should expect to see some player sales this summer to offset the wage bill and raise funds for new arrivals – though unless the Adama-Gibson-Bamford money was secretly stashed away by a chairman looking to prevent Pulis signing any more defensive midfielders, then few will be expecting to see any addition from the upper end of the Championship market.

With the transfer deadline for both sales and loans due to close at 5pm on 8th August, there is now just over a month for the club to do it’s business – although in theory players could still depart to join League One and Two clubs until 2nd September if a certain Dane fancies heading to the Stadium of Light. Looking at the current squad and following the departure of Mikel, Downing and loanees, Hugill and Besic (shown in red), it looks somewhat thin in some areas. Defence lacks cover and regardless of whether Woodgate opts for traditional full-backs or wing-back, the club will need to find players in those areas. It’s possible Howson could continue in the right wing-back role or some youngsters could be promoted to the senior squad – though these have now been makeshift positions for some time at Boro.

Also likely to move on are Braithwaite and Johnson (highlighted in yellow), who both went out on loan after their Boro careers looked to be over – plus Rudy Gestede doesn’t look like he would fit the profile of the high-pressing high-energy forward that is planned under the new regime. That leaves essentially Britt and Fletcher but there are some noises that if a bid that closely matched the club’s valuation of Assombalonga it would be difficult to turn down – especially as next summer he’ll enter the final year of his contract and any fee will probably be heading downwards unless he has a prolific season. While the midfield still looks well covered despite the departures of Mikel and Besic, it still looks to be lacking some creativity and goals with only Wing having displayed some attacking range – especially with Saville top scoring from midfield with just four goals there will need to be a big improvement in that area of the pitch. Whether Paddy McNair will get a chance to show what he can do may depend on if Boro decide to take up interest from other clubs. Clearly the side is lacking pace and it may be a case of needing to raise funds by selling players that have similar counterparts in the squad.

It is perhaps the loan market that would offer the best route to fill the gaps in the squad given as the club are no longer likely to be in a position to pay big fees and offer lucrative 3-4 year contracts. Under Karanka’s promotion campaigns for example, it was often the case that his First XI would include a fair number of regulars that arrived on loan. Hopefully, Woodgate and Keane will be able to use their contacts to secure some up-and-coming talent from the likes of Spurs and Liverpool. While, the plan may ultimately be to bring through young talent from the academy, it’s hard to imagine in the short term that there are going to be any significant break-through seasons and a few might just about make the squad – though you never know if someone will take their opportunity when it arises and suddenly become the next big thing like Wing did.

So as we look to see how the pre-season shapes up, Woodgate has so far began by trying to say all the right things to all the right people (in all the right places). After initially impressing in his interview, he’s told the supporters he plans to play attacking exciting football, as well promising the chairman he wants to promote youth and not overspend and telling the players they will all be given a chance and he’d ideally like to play them in their favoured positions too. At the moment the new head coach is a popular choice for the players but at some point difficult decisions will need to be taken and that’s likely to be sooner rather than later as he starts to realise who he can rely on and what he is missing.

Woodgate said he’s just normal lad from Middlesbrough who won’t change because he’s the new gaffer but managers tend to prematurely turn grey for a reason and the pressure to succeed makes being normal much harder. Of course making promises in order to get everyone on-side will gain you some time but it’s now only a few weeks to go before all the hype and theory will be tested in real Championship games. The new coaching team will need to be sure that they have a squad ready to go from the off as the January window will appear a long off if they have an indifferent start in front of a notoriously impatient Teesside audience.

Following what has been described in the local media as an extensive four-week search for a new manager, the Boro hierarchy seemingly could find no better available candidate on the globe than a local man from Nunthorpe. Indeed, that man was apparently the recommendation of the recently departed boss Tony Pulis and it seems in the end Jonathan Woodgate’s vision of how he saw the team and club moving forward proved decisive. So impressive was Woody at his interview, he remained the odds-on favourite throughout the search as he saw off rivals such as the twice Championship promotion-winning manager Slaviša Jokanović and a whole host of contenders who shall remain nameless – though that’s mainly because nobody seems to know who they were.

Nevertheless, Steve Gibson has decided to put his faith in another Teessider and once again another untried or tested young manager. It appears to be a massive gamble by the owner, who many thought would be looking for a candidate with a track record of being able to demonstrate the ability to build a progressive winning team on a tight budget. With the parachute payments having finished, the next man in charge will have to juggle his resources and make some astute signings if they are to compete in the promotion mix. The overall task facing the new man was always going to be difficult one and would require a range of skills that would need some well-considered judgements. In some ways, it’s perhaps not too dissimilar to the one that faced a young Gareth Southgate as the team required rebuilding under the financial pressure of money becoming tighter.

Whether Woodgate will be taking an active role in recruitment is unclear at this stage and perhaps he will be left to concentrate on finding his feet in the new role of head coach instead. Reports that the club are looking to bring in former Boro coach Steve Round to assist their new manager may indicate someone else may have a greater input on deciding who will be arriving on Teesside. Eighteen years ago, Round joined Boro as part of McClaren’s coaching team at Boro but was dismissed by Gareth Southgate over what were described as ‘philosophical differences’ – though it’s as yet unknown what philosophy the latest ‘Gate’ is a student of. At least Round has an impressive CV after coaching for England, Everton and Manchester United. It’s perhaps his role as Director of Football at Villa that best gives a clue to what his duties may cover at Boro should he come on board – especially as he’s not had a coaching role for over five years now.

While the emphasis in the media has been about ‘refreshing’ the coaching team, it is the anticipated arrival of yet another old boy that has added the only real element of excitement. News that the much-loved Leo Percovich is to be offered a yet unspecified role in the coaching team has been greeted with far more approval than the drip drip imminent announcement of Jonathan ‘still firmly in the frame’ Woodgate. Cynics (OK that’s nearly everyone) have suggested this is designed to placate the underwhelmed masses on social media that have resorted to having auto-reply FFS-macros programmed into their smart phones as they stare at the ever-shortening odds on Woodgate. Many on Teesside are feeling flatter than carefully-ironed Flat Earth Society world map at the prospect that the manager search didn’t get much beyond the end of the road – let alone went global. Leo is certainly a crowd motivator and an adopted Teessider that definitely wears his heart on his sleeve – which was a relationship that became even more poignant following the tragic car accident that claimed the lives of his two daughters. Although, if it is as merely goalkeeping coach, then it may be quite an undemanding role with the experienced Darren Randolph looking like the best keeper in the Championship.

The latest person to be linked with the new coaching team is current Republic of Ireland assistant manager, Robbie Keane. The 38-year old claims he’s been offered the role of assistant manager to Woodgate but will still remain with Ireland. He’s known Woodgate for 20 years and says while he’s excited with the role being offered he’s yet to decide if to accept it. It would perhaps be a bit embarrassing if he now turned it down having gone public and also outed Woodgate as the new Boro manager – though apparently he’s yet to talk to his wife about the prospect of moving to Teesside and we know from recent playing targets that ‘Geography’ is often against Boro.

So Middlesbrough Football club is about to enter a new epoch – whether Woodgate will be seen as a fossil of the Jurassic football that the Pulis era served up will remain to be seen. In fact, the longevity of the new manager could be a brief one if he fails to hit the ground running. Time is not on his side if the majority of supporters are already doubtful he was the right appointment by the chairman in the first place – plus patience will not be seen as a virtue by the faithful if he’s found wanting when attempting to make his vision a reality. It’s fair to say he’s an appointment that comes with baggage and in some ways it leaves him exposed to greater criticism than an unknown candidate would have faced. Has Steve Gibson possibly miscalculated in the same way he did with his ill-advised ‘Smash the League’ comment with Monk?

OK, perhaps at least Woodgate starts with low expectations from many on Teesside and being around the top six after ten games will be seen as something of a success. However, a bad start will be met with a lot more than ‘I told you so’ from the unimpressed on the terraces – plus has Woodgate got the temperament to handle the pressure and ride out the inevitable criticism that follows bad results. Indeed, with no track record it will also be important that the players will have belief that he can be trusted to achieve results. At least with a manager who has done it before they have the credit in the bank when making unpopular decisions or changes. It may be unfair but Woodgate will be required to start well and show he can mount a credible promotion challenge and this is always the risk in appointing an untried manager – and perhaps more so for one who divides opinion.

It will be great if the gamble pays off and confidence and enthusiasm of a new manager and his coaching team show they have what it takes. However, a bad start and the rabbit in headlights look as they struggle to work out whether to stick or twist will soon make for unpleasant viewing at pre-match press conferences. We saw previously how another inexperienced manager in Karanka became prickly and somewhat difficult when faced with the pressure of things not going to plan. There will be no hiding place for Woodgate now that he’s the number one – we will soon discover if the lessons the younger man has learnt will have made him stronger character or simply more fragile one who is easily wounded. Let’s hope Steve Gibson has made the right call!

As Boro’s search for a new manager is underway, the club are looking to begin a new era and hopefully rebuild a team capable of winning promotion and staying in the Premier League. The pressure is on chairman Steve Gibson to make the right appointment and choose someone who will galvanise the supporters and instil belief into the players. It’s now 25 years since Bryan Robson arrived on Teesside, which tried to change the mentality that the club was unfashionable and rarely a destination for glamour or even big names. Diasboro’s resident Boro historian, Ken Smith, looks back at the start of the Robson era from his arrival to the start of the Riverside revolution.

In his last season as Boro manager, Lennie Lawrence was instrumental in recommending that his successor should be Bryan Robson, a legend of the game, but with no managerial experience. Lawrence was a close friend of Alex Ferguson and a meeting was arranged and with his blessing met Robson in Wetherby, from where the two men met Keith Lamb at the ‘Little Chef’ on the A19. From there Robson was escorted to Wilton Castle where an artist’s impression and model of Boro’s proposed new stadium at Middlehaven was on display. Bryan Robson had other options, Wolverhampton Wanderers being one, but after assurances from Steve Gibson that he would be allowed to bring in his own staff and that money would be made available for incoming transfers the deal was struck. Steve Gibson later recalled how he and George Cooke were so enthusiastic about the proposed new stadium and after Robson shook hands on the deal, and whilst Cooke organised champagne, Steve excused himself where he screamed the place down with joy!

Now to events on the playing field. Robson was to be a player/manager with Viv Anderson as his assistant, and his first two signings were Nigel Pearson from Sheffield Wednesday for £750,000 and Neil Cox from Aston Villa for £1M. Goalkeeper Alan Miller joined from Arsenal for £425,000 and Welsh International Clayton Blackmore on a free transfer from Manchester United. All five including Robson made their Boro debut in the first match of the season at home to Burnley where John Hendrie scored twice in a 2-0 win before a crowd of 23,343, almost a capacity crowd for Ayresome Park in those days. Boro won their first four matches against Southend and Derby away and Bolton at home without conceding a goal. They looked like extending that to five matches when leading at Watford at half-time, but conceded their first goal in the second half and had to settle for a 1-1 draw. The big test was to come in the next match at home to Sunderland where Boro found themselves 0-2 down going into the last 10 minutes, but goals from Alan Moore and Nigel Pearson within two minutes ensured a share of the spoils. A last minute penalty converted by Craig Hignett in the home match against West Brom preserved Boro’s unbeaten record.

Craig Hignett joined Boro from Crewe a couple of seasons before Robson arrived and was soon to witness the arrival of many big names

However after leading at half-time at Port Vale, Boro conceded twice in the second half to lose 1-2 and dropped to second place. Remember that only the Champions would be promoted automatically at the end of the season as the First Division was to be reduced from 22 clubs to 20, so second place at the end of the season would mean merely a play-off position. Boro got back to winning ways with two 4-1 wins home and away to Scarborough in the League Cup where the little Bolivian Jaime Moreno made his debut, and League wins away to Bristol City and home to Millwall where Boro scored 3 goals for the first time seemed to have stopped the rot, but then came a surprise 0-1 home defeat to Tranmere followed by a 1-5 walloping at Luton which saw Boro drop to 4th. A goalless draw at Portsmouth and two draws against Cesana and Udinese in the Anglo-Italian Cup and elimination from the League Cup at Aston Villa meant that Boro’s winless run had stretched to 6 matches in total.

Boro did then win successive home wins over Swindon and Oldham, but lost at Grimsby before the top of the table clash at home to Wolves awaited them in late November. A John Hendrie goal was enough for Boro to win and more importantly take them back to the top of the League. That win was the start of a stretch to the end of the year of just one defeat in nine matches, and may well have been stretched further when Boro led Barnsley before the game had to be abandoned.

After gaining a 1-1 draw at Second Division Swansea in the FA Cup, typically Boro lost the replay so could concentrate on their main objective which was to win the League. However the new year didn’t start too well with defeat at lowly Swindon where Boro without striker Paul Wilkinson and Bryan Robson, lost 1-2 after having led to an early John Hendrie goal, and Jan-Aage Fjortoft scoring the equaliser on a pudding of a pitch. Boro could only draw their next home match with Grimsby and with a lack of goals tried to sign Fjortoft who despite playing for a team near the bottom of the League was a proven goal scorer. However they did manage to sign Uwe Fuchs on loan from Fortuna Cologne to make his debut in the home game against Reading, but Boro lost again and found themselves down to 3rd. Fuchs did score his first goal as Boro got back to winning ways at home to Charlton a week later, and again in the televised top of the table clash at Molineux the following Tuesday when Boro showed their promotion credentials with a 2-0 win. A goalless draw at Millwall was followed by two home wins against Bristol City, where Fuchs scored all 3 goals in a 3-0 win, and Watford when he scored another.

Just as things were starting to look promising, Boro suddenly could only gain one more point from their next 3 matches which included a home defeat to Derby in windy conditions. Marco Gabbiadini terrorised Boro’s defence with a couple of goals as the Rams led 3-0 at halftime with the wind in their favour. Fuchs and Jamie Pollock scored in the first 10 minutes of the second half, but to no avail as Derby scored a fourth to take the spoils 4-2. Another Jamie Pollock goal in the midweek derby at Sunderland on the first day of Spring not only saw Boro record their first win at Roker Park since 1982 but regain first position in the League since the end of January.

At last Boro managed to sign Jan-Aage Fjortoft on transfer deadline day for a record fee of £1.3m and he quickly made his debut the following day as Boro came back from a 0-1 halftime deficit at home to West Brom to win 3-1, and although they lost at Oldham in midweek they beat Stoke 2-1 at home in their next match. From then on to say that Boro limped over the line to promotion might be a slight exaggeration, but three successive 1-1 draws where Fuchs scored his 9th goal in 13 matches plus two substitute appearances, and Fjortoft scored his first two goals did create a scene of nervousness as Boro prepared to play their last League game at Ayresome Park against a Luton team that had inflicted Boro’s biggest defeat of the season in October 1-5.

Old Boro greats including Wilf Mannion and George Hardwick were paraded around the perimeter of the pitch as the biggest crowd of the season 23,903 gathered not only to take a last nostalgic look at Ayresome Park and some of their favourites who had graced the hallowed turf since the Second World War. After several near misses John Hendrie scored the all important goal on the stroke of half time, and most of us thought that would be it. Although Boro hadn’t been renowned for scoring too many goals that season, apart from that 1-5 defeat at Luton, they had been defensively sound with the concession of only 18 goals at home and only 38 in total from their 44 matches so far. So it came as quite a surprise when Luton equalised. However when Hendrie scored 20 minutes from time, I was confident that that would be the winner. Of course Boro weren’t technically sure of promotion, but when Bolton failed to beat Stoke days later, Boro’s promotion was guaranteed. Tranmere were the opposition for Boro’s final match and a draw would guarantee the Merseysiders a play-off position, and that’s how the game ended, a 1-1 draw. Reading finished second, but Bolton beat them 4-3 in the play-off final to join Boro in the top tier.

John Hendrie finished top scorer with 15 league goals from his 39 matches, but Uwe Fuchs’s contribution should not be underestimated with his 9 goals, one more than Craig Hignett. However generally speaking Boro’s lack of goal power didn’t bode well for the Premier League, so no doubt Bryan Robson would have to enhance that and the midfield as he was unlikely to play much himself at a higher level. Many of us hoped that Uwe Fuchs would become a permanent acquisition, but Robson thought differently.

Nick Barmby’s arrival from Spurs for over £5m was a signal of intent and the first English international to arrive at the club for 90 years

The summer saw Boro smash to smithereens their transfer record. True to his word Steve Gibson provided the finance to sign not only a striker, but an international striker at that. Nick Barmby was not a prolific goal scorer, but it was the first time for almost 90 years that Boro had signed a current English international player. The fee was reputed to be £5.25m and although the Spurs managing director Alan Sugar played hardball wanting the full agreed fee to be paid instantly rather than in instalments, the deal was agreed. I had paid a couple of visits during the summer to see how the Middlehaven stadium was progressing, and like many others was in awe of the design if not the location.

Boro started their campaign at Highbury against Arsenal, and the Sky cameras were there to see how Boro would perform against one of their former manager’s team, Bruce Rioch. Boro started rather well when Barmby scored after half an hour. Ian Wright equalised before half time, but Boro deserved the draw. Now onto the first match for Boro in their sparkling new stadium. After a few last minute adjustments, Boro got the safety certificate for the match against Chelsea to go ahead and Craig Hignett had the honour of scoring the first goal after 39 minutes. Jan-Aage Fjortoft scored in the second half, and Boro were up and running. Although Boro lost at Newcastle and struggled to get a point at newly promoted Bolton, I joined the long queue at Ayresome Park with my pal determined to get tickets for Boro’s next match, a midweek encounter with Southampton. Although the match finished goalless Boro then proceeded to win their next five matches including two 1-0 away wins against Manchester City and Sheffield Wednesday either side of a 2-0 win against the Champions Blackburn Rovers when the ground record was beaten for the second time with a near capacity crowd of 29,462.

After QPR had been dispatched Boro were now in 4th position with 21 points from their first 10 matches. Although they had scored only 11 goals, 5 from Hignett including 2 penalties, 3 from Barmby and 2 from Fjortoft, they had only conceded 4. The next match was the big test, away to Manchester United where Bryan Robson received a tremendous ovation from the Old Trafford crowd, albeit a small crowd of only 36,580. Boro lost that encounter 0-2, but the perception was that Boro would not have much trouble in staying in this league. The two little midgets Hignett and Barmby playing just behind Fjortoft, although not scoring too many goals, had the pace to cause problems against most of the teams in the Premier League and defensively Boro looked solid.

Then came the signing of Brazil’s player of the year, a certain Osvaldo Giroldo Junior, better known as Juninho Paulista, or plain Juninho to Boro fans. Arsenal had had their eye on the little fella, but only Bryan Robson and Keith Lamb had followed Boro’s interest by actually flying to São Paulo to interview him. The Brazilian club were reluctant to sell their prized asset, but needed the cash. A transfer fee of £4.75M was agreed and because of Bryan Robson’s world status the little fella agreed to sign for Boro. Arsenal tried to hijack the deal, but they were too late. When Juninho arrived at Teesside Airport with Keith Lamb there were a few people to welcome him, but when he arrived at the Riverside Stadium a Brazilian Band, the whole of the English press, and thousands of Boro fans were there to greet him and his interpreter. At the time I was somewhere in Victoria-Gasteiz in the Basque region of Spain on my way to my five month winter migration to the Algarve. I stopped the car to listen to Sports Round-up on my shortwave radio, and the whole programme was devoted to the arrival and interviews of Juninho. Boro were now big news, really big news.

The signing of the Brazilian player of the year in Juninho was greeted with much excitement by supporters and he soon became a legend on Teesside

Juninho made his debut in the home game with Leeds and provided the stellar pass which resulted in Fjortoft opening the score for Boro. Naturally he tired and was eventually substituted by Alan Moore as Leeds eventually equalised. Of course the ground record had been broken again – albeit by an extra 5 people. A midweek defeat at home to Spurs saw the ground record broken once more by a further 20 people, but Boro then beat Liverpool 2-1 four days later at the Riverside. Two away draws at Wimbledon and QPR, then a 4-1 home thrashing of Manchester City in which Juninho scored his first goal had Boro back in 4th position.

Boro had progressed to the 4th Round of the League Cup with a 3-1 aggregate win over Rotherham and the disposal of Crystal Palace after a replay, but disappointingly only drew with Birmingham and then lost the replay at St. Andrews. That defeat followed a 0-1 reverse in Boro’s next League match at Blackburn, but Boro seemed back on track as Christmas approached with a 4-2 home win over West Ham.

Boro were then heavily beaten at Goodison Park on Boxing Day, and that started a real slump in form when Boro only managed one more win in their next 16 matches and that was an FA Cup tie at Notts County. Wimbledon knocked Boro out of the FA Cup after a replay, but more alarmingly Boro lost 10 League matches including a 0-5 thrashing at Chelsea leaving them down to 13th. By now Boro had accumulated only 34 points from their 30 matches and there was general concern that they might be involved in a relegation battle if their poor form continued. However after two successive draws at home to Nottingham Forest and away to Aston Villa, that still left Boro 4 points short of the 40 point mark. Thankfully a Graham Kavanagh penalty in the 4th minute at Leeds saw Boro win 1-0 and a 3-1 home win over Sheffield Wednesday where Chris Freestone scored his first and only league goal saw Boro safe with four matches remaining.

Boro then drew at Tottenham, but lost at home to Wimbledon and away to Liverpool before the last day visit of Manchester United. Newcastle had looked like taking the title with at one stage holding a substantial lead over Manchester United, but had slumped somewhat whilst the Red Devils won game after game. The Magpies manager lost his cool after Ferguson had wound him up, and in front of the Sky cameras stated “I’d just love it, really love it if Boro beat Manchester United”. Some hope really, as Boro were dispatched rather easily 0-3 before another record crowd of 29,922, the sixth time the ground record had been broken. Some United supporters had bought tickets from Boro fans at twice the original cost, and had thus infiltrated the Boro sections of the crowd much to the chagrin of the stewards.

However Boro had finished with 43 points, but Nick Barmby was top scorer with a mere 7 goals after his early season flourish. It was now obvious that Boro needed a proven goal scorer, though few would have expected it would come in the form of one of the most famous names in Italian football.

Although Boro’s first season at the Riverside had seen an excellent start, which disappointingly tapered off, it at least saw exciting players such as Nick Barmby and Juninho purchased and Boro finished mid table. At the time I used to watch ‘Football Italia’ presented by James Richardson on Channel 4 every Saturday morning, so was well aware of Fabrizio Ravanelli nicknamed ‘the white feather’ but never imagined in my wildest dreams that Robson would sign him or Emerson. The first match of the 1996/97 season was a home match against Liverpool when for the first time the attendance exceeded the 30,000 mark. Every time that Liverpool scored, Ravanelli equalised with his shirt pulled over his head, the first one being a penalty as the match finished 3-3. What a start!

Emerson had cost £4M with his former manager Bobby Robson describing him as the complete midfielder. I was thinking could he be another Graeme Souness, but the signing of Ravanelli for £7M had absolutely smashed the record, and on the evidence of his first match worth the money. However Boro lost 0-1 at Chelsea four days later before Juninho’s goal three days later at Nottingham Forest earned a point. However we still believed that this team had goals in them, and sure enough Boro scored 4 in each of their next two home matches, the first of which against West Ham broke the ground record again. Ravanelli added 3 more goals to his tally in those two matches against the Hammers and Coventry, so 6 goals in five matches for the Italian was a great start.

Boro shocked the footballing world when they signed Ravenelli for £7m  and he was also joined by the enigmatic Brazilian midfielder Emerson

Boro recorded their first away win at Everton, and then put Hereford to the sword in the League Cup as they won 7-0 with Ravanelli scoring 4 and 3-0 in the second leg. However that was followed by two disappointing defeats 0-2 at home to Arsenal and 0-4 at Southampton. Ravanelli scored his first away goal in the 2-2 draw at Sunderland where Emerson also scored with a real blockbuster in a match where Mikkel Beck was named substitute after a long protracted set of negotiations from Fortuna Cologne on a Bosnian free transfer – although he didn’t make his debut until a fortnight later. The ground record was broken again against Spurs, but Boro were suddenly in a slump at least in League matches as they lost 0-3 starting a sequence of ten winless matches culminating in a 1-5 thrashing at Liverpool.

The League Cup was different though with progress having been made to the quarter-finals after home wins against Huddersfield 5-1 and a memorable 3-1 success against Newcastle. But Boro were in trouble in the League following the Liverpool defeat as they chose to cancel their next away fixture against Blackburn because they claimed to have 23 players injured or ill. Boro club officials insisted that they had received assurances from senior Premier League representatives that they were entitled to have the match postponed, but couldn’t produce concrete evidence. Within a month they were fined £50,000 but more significantly deducted 3 points. Middlesbrough FC went to court to have the 3 point penalty rescinded, but unsuccessfully as it happened.

Back to matters on the field, Boro ended that winless League run on Boxing Day as they beat Everton 4-2 with a brace from Juninho, but three more successive defeats at Coventry and Arsenal at home, and away to Southampton had Boro bottom of the League. A 4-2 home win against Sheffield Wednesday might have been 3 points gained, but that was quickly eroded by the confirmation of the 3 point deduction. During the transfer window Boro strengthened their squad with the signings of Vladimir Kinder and Gianluca Festa.

Meanwhile the Cup runs had started with Boro disposing of Chester 6-0 in the FA Cup, then 4 days later beating Liverpool 2-1 in the League Cup. Boro were then drawn away to non-league Hednesford Town in the FA Cup though the Staffordshire club were willing to forfeit home advantage for the tie to be played at the Riverside. An own goal seemed to have given Boro the advantage, but with less than 5 minutes remaining Boro were 1-2 behind and a big upset was on the cards despite fielding a team with 6 regular first-team players. However Fjortoft and Ravanelli scored and Boro scraped through, and although Hednesford were disappointed to lose, they were happy to swell their coffers by playing in front of a 27,000 plus crowd. They might have been happier still with a draw as the replay would also have taken place at the Riverside.

Boro’ League form was still a matter of concern as defeat at Sheffield Wednesday had now meant an accumulation of only eleven points (minus three for the points deduction) in the last 20 matches, yet their Cup form despite the scare against Hednesford was very good admittedly though 4 of their matches had been against lower division teams. Nevertheless home wins against Newcastle and Liverpool in the League Cup and away wins against Manchester City and Derby in the FA Cup were impressive. Suddenly Boro were in the Semifinals of both competitions. At last with on paper what seemed like easy opponents in the Cups, Boro could now concentrate on improving their League position. They did that by winning 4 successive League matches, a midweek 6-1 thrashing of Derby only 3 days before the two teams were to meet in the FA Cup, a 3-1 win at Leicester where Juninho mesmerised the Midlanders, and further home wins over Blackburn and high-flying Chelsea where Juninho scored a wonder goal, and suddenly Boro were out of a relegation position. However if Boro thought it was a foregone conclusion that they would overcome 2nd Division opposition easily in the Cup competitions they were in for a shock.

Firstly in the League Cup on a pudding of a pitch at Stockport the home team held out for over 70 minutes before goals from Beck and Ravanelli seemed to have assured Boro of one Final. However Boro lost the second leg at home 0-1 having conceding a first half goal. They may have looked in control after that, but a 2-1 aggregate score was less than what the home crowd expected. The Final on the 6th April was Boro’s first major appearance at Wembley if one discounts the Zenith Data Cup Final, and Leicester were the opponents, a team that Boro had easily beaten three weeks before. But this time Juninho was well shackled. Nevertheless as the match went into extra time Ravanelli broke the deadlock in the 95th minute, although we couldn’t relax as the match approached the 2 hour mark. Unfortunately Emil Heskey broke Boro’s hearts with an equaliser 2 minutes from time, and a replay at Hillsborough to be played ten days later and only 3 days after Boro’s FA Cup Semifinal against Chesterfield at Old Trafford.
This proved to be the most iconic and controversial in Boro’s FA Cup history, excepting maybe the game against Burnley in 1947 when a blatant ‘hand of God’ incident deprived Boro of their first FA Cup Semifinal.

Boro missed several chances to take the lead in the first half but when Vladimir Kinder was sent off for a second bookable offence in the first half, the game remained goalless at half time with Boro down to ten men. Suddenly in the second half Boro found themselves 0-2 down, the second a penalty converted by the current Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Ravanelli pulled a goal back, but then Chesterfield hit the bar with some observers claiming the ball had crossed the line. However Dyche turned from hero to villain when conceding a penalty which Craig Hignett converted to level the score soon after. The match went into extra time and Gianluca Festa seemed to have scored the winner after the ball had hit the bar, but once again Boro were thwarted by a late goal as the match finished 3-3.

So two replays both after extra time that Boro could well do without as a fixture pile-up ensued. The League Cup replay at Hillsborough came 3 days later and this time Steve Claridge scored the only goal as Boro faced Sunderland at home in a relegation match 3 days later. Boro lost 0-1 and were now still in the bottom three. Another 3 days and Boro were back at Hillsborough to face Chesterfield again, but this time had no trouble in winning 3-0. However 2 days later saw a weary Boro lose 0-1 at Tottenham with Boro remaining in the bottom three. Boro now had played 15 matches in 47 days, two of which had gone to extra time as May beckoned.

Boro played their last home match on the 3rd May, and after letting a 2-0 halftime lead slip, needed a last minute penalty from Ravanelli to secure a 3-2 win against Aston Villa. Two days later Boro were back at Old Trafford, but this time to face Manchester United. Goals from Juninho, Emerson and Hignett raised hopes that relegation might be avoided as Boro led 3-2 at halftime, but United equalised and the match finished 3-3. Three days later Boro had to fulfill the postponed match at Blackburn which finished goalless meaning Boro went into their last match on the Sunday needing to win at Elland Road against Leeds. Leeds scored first, but when Juninho equalised with just over 10 minutes remaining Boro still had hope, but it all ended in tears especially from Juninho as he sat with head bowed at the final whistle. Just one more win from those last three draws would have saved Boro and sent Coventry down with Sunderland and Forest. In fact if Boro had sent out a youth team to fulfill the postponed fixture at Ewood Park and lost heavily, they would have avoided relegation. The League season had ended with Ravanelli scoring 16 goals from 33 matches, although only 2 of them were scored away from home. He did score another 15 in Cup matches but only 3 of those were against Premier League opposition. Juninho scored 12 League goals from 34 matches and another 3 in Cup ties as Boro finished 19th with 39 points.

Some newspapers ran stories of international players that Boro had earmarked as transfer targets if Boro had escaped relegation. A case of ‘look what you could have won’ as the late Jim Bowen often remarked. In some ways the FA Cup Final against Chelsea seemed like an anticlimax. There were stories of fisticuffs between Neil Cox and Ravanelli, and also suggestions that Ravanelli shouldn’t have been picked because he wasn’t fit, as indeed he wasn’t and had to be substituted after 24 minutes by Mikkel Beck. Boro conceded a goal after 40 seconds when reserve goalkeeper Ben Roberts having possibly advanced too far, was beaten by a piledriver from Roberto Di Matteo, Eddie Newton scoring a second with seven minutes remaining.

Juninho didn’t participate in the open bus tour through the town afterwards, which was a pity really as Boro had negotiated a move to Athletico Madrid for £12M with a buy-back clause should he become available. Juninho was thinking of his career and dreaming of pursuing his dream of appearing in the World Cup for Brazil, but that also ended in tears for the little fella.

Back in Division 1 for the next season Bryan Robson wasted no time in finding a replacement for Juninho. His name was Paul Merson, a surprise reject from Arsenal for £5M. It proved to be a masterstroke. Boro knew they wouldn’t be able to hang on to Ravanelli, although he did score a last minute winner as Boro came from behind to win their first match of the season at home to Charlton. He even played in the second match at home to Stoke which Boro lost 0-1, but then he was gone. Meanwhile Emerson affirmed that he was staying although that proved to be a false dawn as he suddenly became homesick in December, was granted a short leave of absence but never returned, and Boro went for experience in buying Andy Townsend for £500,000.

After relegation, Juninho left for Spain and he was replaced by the signing of Arsenal’s Paul Merson to help power the club to promotion

Boro won at Tranmere and earned two draws in consecutive away matches at Stockport and Bradford, but it wasn’t quite the start of a season that Boro fans had hoped for with the team only in mid table. However Boro made progress in the League Cup by overcoming Barnet over two legs before returning to winning ways in the League with a 3-1 home win over Birmingham and a 2-1 win at Sunderland with Emerson scoring in both matches. A disappointing 1-2 home defeat to Sheffield United followed, but that was the last time that Boro would lose at home in the League. They beat Sunderland 2-0 in the next round of the League Cup, drew at Crewe and won at Oxford, beat Port Vale 2-1 and Huddersfield 3-0 at home, and suddenly found themselves in 3rd position. A slight blip at Wolves and a home draw with Portsmouth saw Boro drop to 6th, but a 2-1 home win after extra time against Premier League club Bolton saw Boro reach the Quarter-final stage of the League Cup.

Boro marched on in the League with wins at Norwich and Swindon in a sequence of 9 unbeaten matches ending with a 4-0 home win over Reading, a brace of goals apiece from Craig Hignett and Mikkel Beck putting Boro top of the League. A defeat at Manchester City didn’t alter Boro’s League position as Boro won at Huddersfield on Boxing Day, and the year ended with a 3-1 home win over Stockport. A late Hignett goal saw Boro reach the Semifinal of the League Cup, and Boro disposed of QPR after a replay in the FA Cup. Boro lost the leadership in the League by losing 0-3 at Charlton, but the rest of January was to provide Boro with two tricky matches against Premier League opposition.

In the transfer window Boro signed two strikers, Marco Branca from Inter Milan for £1m and Alun Armstrong from Stockport for £1.6m. Neither player was available before the home FA Cup match against Arsenal which Boro lost 1-2 with Paul Merson scoring against his old club, nor for the trip to Anfield in the Semifinal of the League Cup which Boro also lost 1-2 but with the importance of an away goal. Before the second leg though Boro had 4 important League matches. They extracted revenge against Stoke for that early season home defeat by winning 2-1 with goals from Nigel Pearson and Jaime Moreno, drew at Birmingham, but beat Tranmere and Bradford at home thus regaining 1st position.

Marco Branca signed before the second leg of the League Cup match, and what an impact he made. Boro were awarded a penalty after 2 minutes which Merson put away, and 2 minutes later Branca scored a second goal. Craig Harrison then kept Liverpool’s dangerman Steve McManaman quiet for the rest of the match and Boro had reached their 3rd Wembley Cup Final in two seasons. Three days later Boro’s ground record was again broken when 30,227 witnessed a 3-1 win against Sunderland with Branca scoring twice and Alun Armstrong scoring on his debut. After beating Crewe with a Neil Maddison goal Boro then went into one of their strangest typical modes. In successive matches they lost 0-4 at Forest, 0-5 at QPR and then beat Swindon 6-0 yet still remained top of the League.

Robson brought in a troubled  Gazza from Rangers in a bid help  bolster Boro’s promotion bid but he looked less than match fit on arrival

Boro then drew at Portsmouth and won 3-0 at home to Norwich before their Wembley date against Chelsea once more. In the meantime Robson signed Paul Gascoigne who was giving some stirring performances for Glasgow Rangers. He went straight into Boro’s team for the showdown with Chelsea, but for the 3rd time the Pensioners were to beat Boro in a Wembley Final. Gazza magnanimously gave his losers medal to Craig Hignett, the player he’d replaced in the Boro line-up. Boro suffered some reaction following their Cup defeat as they lost at West Brom and Sheffield United to drop to 4th in the League. Having now not won any of their last 6 away matches in the League Boro seemed to be floundering.

By then Boro had signed Hamilton Ricard and he scored his first goal in a Boro shirt as they beat Bury 4-0 with Branca scoring the other 3 goals. Away wins at Reading and Port Vale, plus a home win over Manchester City all by a 1-0 scoreline saw Boro in second place going into the final two matches. Ricard scored again in the 1-1 draw at Wolves, and not for the first time Boro needed to beat Oxford at home in their final match to gain promotion. A touch of deja-vu here as Boro repeated the 4-1 scoreline of 31 years previously, but this time to regain their Premier League status. They finished 3 points behind Forest and one point ahead of Sunderland who missed out on promotion in the play-offs after a 4-4 draw with Charlton and a 6-7 loss in a penalty shootout.

Boro had won 15 and drawn 4 of their final 19 home matches and finished with 91 points. Mikkel Beck was top goalscorer with 14 League goals from his 39 appearances whilst Paul Merson scored 12 from 45 matches. Marco Branca chipped in with 9 goals in 11 matches and Alun Armstrong 7 from 11 matches. Paul Merson admitted he was down on his last legs having only missed the one fixture at Charlton midway through the season, and doubted his ability to perform at his best should Boro be engaged in the play-offs. Strangely he left Boro for Aston Villa after only playing in the first 3 matches of the following season.

By today’s standards maybe the League threw up some strange minnows in the Division maybe accounting for the fact that Sunderland failed to claim promotion with 90 points. But Stockport finished 8th, Crewe 11th, Oxford 12th, Tranmere 14th and Bury 17th, yet Manchester City, Stoke and Reading were relegated. Such is the way that power has changed in the last 20 years. Boro were to remain in the Premier League for 11 years. More about the Robson years in the future.

Championship 2018-19: Week 40

Sun 5 May – 12:30: Rotherham v Boro

As Boro supporters once again steel themselves to postpone their return to the Utopian uplands of the Premier League, they still await news from their noble defender of the faith on whether he’s contemplating yet another divorce after what appears a fruitless union with his latest consort. More will not be welcomed on Teesside should the supreme governor decide to subject them to another season of what has gone before. However, Gibson it seems is keeping his own counsel as he strolls regally through the manicured grounds of Rockliffe Hall in deep conversation with his chief courtier and trusted Welsh confident. Despite the position of the Boro manager now appearing close to untenable for many, he’s still apparently of the mind that his business at the club remains unfinished – though after an underwhelming campaign, few now even regard him as the man for next season, let alone all seasons.

As matters of the state weigh heavy on the shoulders of the divine ruler, he must soon decide whether to stay loyal to his close aide as his subjects openly demand his head. While the pious Pulis may still retain the backing of his master, it’s not been echoed in the wider court of public opinion after he made the cardinal sin of failing to deliver a change in fortunes. After the dissolution of the previous regime and the banishment of the lavish Monk, the coffers are still much diminished and the promises of reaching new riches under the austere hand of his successor have once again failed to materialise.

Parallels between Henry VIII’s councillor, Sir Thomas More, and a Boro manager that has probably led to quite a few supporters seeking counselling this season, are hard to find. While More was the author of the highly influential book Utopia, Pulis is perhaps merely the author of his own downfall – although, if you said that the faithful on Teesside would regard the vision offered by the Boro manager as anything resembling Utopia, it would possibly be regarded as a bigger work of fiction than the original.

Incidentally, the name Utopia was actually a Greek pun that derived from the words ou-topos (no place) and eu-topos (good place) – which perhaps quite aptly describe the mythical land of the Premier League. Although, some Greek scholars who regularly attend Boro press conferences have argued that Pulis could possibly have been based on one of the book’s characters, Raphael Hythlodaeus, whose surname we are reliably informed translates as “peddler of nonsense”.

Of course, peddling nonsense is not necessarily a handicap in the footballing world – indeed it’s been the staple of many a manager over the years and it’s this cliché punctuated prose that is normally the favoured method of communication. However, for those who claim to say it as they see it, stepping into the world of spin and offering half-truths will ultimately only undermine their wider message. OK, not everything that Pulis espouses is completely wide of the mark but it’s often the desire to create a somewhat skewed narrative that has led to some questioning his overall sincerity.

We saw another example of this last week as Pulis once again overplayed the club’s spending before he arrived by quoting the headline figure of £55m spent rather than also mentioning the nearly £48m that was raised in sales. The Boro manager has tried to portray himself as almost a hard-up Tony Mowbray figure who has needed to manage on very tight budget and seems to indicate the club have needlessly overstretched – although he may well be right with that latter statement. Pulis declared: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat and this club has to understand and recognise there are different ways of doing stuff. But you have to be patient if you’re going to do it that way. We’re still on the back foot and still catering for a lot of players who came in.

While those who have watched Boro at the Riverside this season will no doubt agree about still being on the back foot, many will have observed that most of his pedestrian players have looked incapable of skinning a defender, let alone a cat. Although, the call for patience is unlikely to be received with much enthusiasm after most on the terraces believe theirs has been more than tested this season.

Indeed, if the season was in search of a metaphor to describe Tony Pulis’s tenure, it was duly delivered in the last home game against Reading when an over-inflated dinosaur drifted slowly across the Riverside pitch. Perhaps it was attempting to emulate much of the tumbleweed that had passed in eerie silence before it, which had often became the scourge of the groundsmen at half-time. Still, the ineffective and some might say overblown dinosaur was then duly stamped on and burst by an opposition player – providing two metaphors for the price of one as a dinosaur that had offered little threat was left permanently deflated. While one or two may have been upset to see the demise of the impromptu entertainment, there were few signs of an extinction rebellion emerging on Teesside.

Pulis resorted to his own favourite metaphor about his chairman last week as he sought to back him over over his latest “dog with a bone” moment following his stance against the EFL for not appearing to enforce their profitability and sustainability rules – you may recall Tony had previously taken on the role of the bone after the Boro top dog tried to persuade him to join the club. The Boro manager claimed in his press conference that Boro were forced to sell key players Adama Traore and Ben Gibson last summer in order keep them within those rules. However, there can’t be many who are by now not aware that the club were powerless to stop Adama being sold after the £18m release clause was met by Wolves – indeed Pulis even announced at the time that the club had offered the player an improved contract to try and persuade him to stay.

In addition, it was widely accepted that Ben Gibson would be allowed to leave last summer if Boro’s £15m valuation was met in order for him to further his career and play Premier League football – the transfer was never touted at the time as being required to balance the books. In fact, with MFC having made an £18m profit over the previous two seasons and with them theoretically being allowed to post a £61m three-year loss this season, there was never any chance the club were in danger of not complying with the rules.

OK, without promotion this term, the club will have needed to sell players this summer as the parachute payments ended but there is little evidence to suggest that there was an actual need to raise cash last summer – the truth is Adama had a release clause and Ben’s sale was good business as his value would probably have declined with another indifferent season in the Championship. The key to the transfer market for those with a limited budget is simply to maximise the profits and minimise the losses – although, you could be forgiven for thinking the reverse was true sometimes!

Indeed, the world of football has now become primarily about money and how to chase it while trying to avoid losing too much of it in the process. Perhaps the sentiments expressed in this quote from Robert Bolt’s play and film of A Man for All Seasons could quite easily also describe the game’s lost purpose and excesses:

If we lived in a state where virtue was profitable, common sense would make us good, and greed would make us saintly. And we’d live like animals or angels in the happy land that needs no heroes. But since in fact we see that avarice, anger, envy, pride, sloth, lust and stupidity commonly profit far beyond humility, chastity, fortitude, justice and thought, and have to choose, to be human at all… why then perhaps we must stand fast a little – even at the risk of being heroes.

Talking of risking becoming a hero, after Lewis Wing’s unexpected return to the Boro midfield saw him score a goal, hit the post and generally trouble the opposition defence, Tony Pulis declared “He’s been the find of the season” – by which he presumably meant that he’d misplaced the influential playmaker for nearly four months before suddenly reclaiming him at the Rockliffe lost property desk after he was handed in. The Boro manager could barely even find a place on the bench for “Wingy” when his mono-paced midfield was struggling to score goals and create chances for the last three months of 2018 – in fact Pulis was often dismissive of supporters who pressed for his inclusion as he insisted he still needed to learn the game.

Still, thanks to that Wing-inspired win over Reading, Tony Pulis’s team at least have an outside chance of finishing in sixth place – though all eyes on Teesside will be glancing nervously towards Swansea on Wednesday to see if they answer Boro’s Mayday call and come to our rescue. However, should Frank Lampard’s Derby County win in South Wales it will make the trip to newly relegated Rotherham on Sunday an even less happy place to be than a coulrophobia junior convention at a McDonald’s restaurant that’s run out of Happy Meals while hosting a Ronald McDonald lookalike contest. Fortunately, any Boro supporters previously suffering from a fear of clowns will have had their condition cured by many years of aversion therapy at the Riverside while being subjected to Pigbag at full volume on the PA.

With luck, the season will head to the final day with something to play for and the hope that a win at Rotherham will be enough. It will depend on how keen Tony’s old club West Brom are to do him a favour and try to edge Leeds out of third place – though surely even the faltering Mighty Whites can’t lose at home to Ipswich. Of course, Boro may be rueing the dropped points in that 0-0 draw against Rotherham in the Riverside reverse fixture – along with many others no doubt.

Nevertheless, it’s hard to imagine that Boro have been looking like a promotion side since those heady days in August that blinded us with that bright unbeaten start. It doesn’t feel like Tony Pulis has progressed the team into a side that’s ready for the next level – it’s barely coping at the current Championship level. Indeed, few of the current team have developed into players that look in any way capable of being able to cut it in the Premier League. Contrast that with a Cardiff side, who competed well against Liverpool last week, when they fielded nine players that had played for the club in the Championship last season.

Pulis has stated this week that Boro as a club need to do things properly if they are to become an established top tier side again – his argument is: “Clubs are going to get promoted and struggle in the Premier League, unless it’s done properly. So you’re chasing to get there, you get there, you get relegated, you’ve got this massive bill, then you chase it again because you’ve got parachute money then you get deeper and deeper in trouble. You look at how many clubs have done that in the last ten years, it’s ridiculous.”

OK, that’s pretty much a logical commentary on the pitfalls of promotion but is there any real substance or plan to avoid making that happen? Pulis followed up that analysis with: “You’ve got to have strength of character and understanding to know where the club is going. And you’ve got to be honest and open and say this is how we’re doing it. But you’ll be stronger at the end of it and break the mould of ‘I want it, why can’t I have it? Why can’t it be done?”

Why indeed! But unfortunately it all sounds like typical management consultant talk that appears profound on the surface without actually saying anything other than there has to be a better way of doing things. The only solution Pulis is suggestion appears that Boro need to find a plan and stick to it, which essentially involves unearthing better cheaper players and having a method of playing that is more effective. Basically, it’s a promise to deliver alchemy to Steve Gibson if he’s given enough time and patience to make it work.

If you were being kind, you would say it’s almost the naïve optimism of a younger manager – if you weren’t, you would fear they were just the empty promises of an old Charlatan. No doubt Tony Pulis will point to what he built at Stoke but the football landscape is being altered every year by the arrival of richer owners and increased TV money. Plus the tactical side of football has developed to the point that the successful teams are not the ones that predominantly try to shut out the opposition but are those who are creative and score goals. Pulis is perhaps not the progressive manager with the new ideas that Boro need at this moment who can make his team play without fear. A fact bourne out by the touchline microphone used by the TV company that screened the Reading game – all that could be heard was Tony Pulis barking out basic micro-management instructions to every Boro player for the full 94 minutes from his technical area.

Ideally, in our own vision of footballing Utopia, the philosophy of being a supporter should pretty much mirror life itself – in that it should really be all about the journey and not necessarily the destination. If it is indeed about the football, then we should only try to enjoy the journey and not over focus on reaching an end – or at least be given an opportunity to enjoy that journey. Many Boro supporters have regarded this season as one of the worst they’ve endured, which given the club have been in the top six for nearly all of it must raise a fundamental issue of why that is the perception.

The problem it seems comes when those leading the way appear to care little for the pleasure they provide along that path. OK, successful football that is pleasing to the eye is not easy to achieve but to not want to aspire to that is often what makes supporters long for the journey to end. Sadly, ambition for most clubs in some ways ends when they make it to the inequitable Premier League as the aim thereafter is simply to avoid failure and relegation. Perhaps the prize on offer has just distracted everyone from what football was meant to be about.