Agnew and Moyes stare the fear of relegation in the face

by werdermouth, posted in Uncategorized

As Steve Agnew and David Moyes attempt to coax one another into grasping the less-coveted prize of the Premier League £100m wooden spoon, they may at least take comfort from the knowledge that Boro and Sunderland are close to seeing come to fruition their cunning plan of preventing Newcastle from enjoying a north-east derby next season – though for both sets of supporters the only hope for the following year is that Baldrick is no longer charged with coming up with the plans.

So rather than being billed as the Tees-Wear derby, perhaps Wednesday night’s local encounter will be more likely be representative of the ‘tease’ of Boro’s damp squib of a top-flight return versus the Mackem’s annual ‘weary’ struggle to once more avoid the drop. I’m sure that all but a few of the respective followers of these clubs will have long-since been resigned to the fate that must surely now await – most just want this sadistic season to end as the prospect of further punishment as even got the the most masochistic among the faithful pleading for an end to the beatings.

In fact it appears the Black Cat’s are so weary of fighting relegation that the board can’t even find the energy to sack their manager anymore – unless of course every time David Moyes is summoned to the boardroom to be told his fate, he records a new non-blinking record as his Glaswegian stare simply silences the chairman with its unspoken declaration “If you start misbehavin’ wee man, then yer gettin’ skelped!”

No doubt Steve Agnew will be keen to demonstrate his repertoire of formations has not yet been exhausted – though it’s starting to look more like it’s just a futile attempt to rearrange the same dozen or so knock-off deckchairs as they slide down the increasingly steeper deck of the titanic task of preventing Boro sinking back into the Championship.

Still, to ensure all the men stay on board, able seaman Woodgate assists by piping out the Celine Dion big boat blockbuster theme music as the boss gets ready to unveil this week’s system to the players and begins his one-on-one motivational instructions – “OK Barragan you’ve not looked too comfortable at full-back recently so today you’re going to think like a wing-back instead – you’ll be liberated and will feel like you’re flying…” – before first mate Joe Jordan interjects “Aye, though don’t forget to land son before you take a bloody throw-in!”. As the presentation continues, nobody notices a certain Gaston Ramirez disguised as the tea-lady quietly abandoning ship and diving into the last remaining life-raft.

So despite the hopeless position we find ourselves in, Agnew is putting on a brave face as his interview from hell continues in the shadow of Steve Gibson openly admitting to calling his last effort ‘a total shambles’. Though it appears Downing  has already seen enough to be convinced that he should get the job on a permanent basis – though what that actually is may need a better demonstration to the rest of us. Whilst footballers are not strangers to the non-emoji language of symbolic cliche, I’ve not yet heard anyone say that he ‘ticks all the boxes’ but I expect it’s only a matter of time before, in the absence of something less tangible than results, alternatives will be held up to act as a suitable measure.

So what shall we expect from this latest deemed must-win game? Well on previous evidence the word ‘must’ doesn’t seem to have the same meaning as I’d previously thought. OK, I appreciate the Boro management have little option other than to give the impression that they are aiming to win all their remaining games to try and stay up – but it’s hard to envisage anyone in the group has that belief left in them after 16 games (near as damn it half a season) since one was last registered at this level – especially with three of the top four yet to play.

I suspect the Sunderland game will just be a case of ‘for the sake of sanity let’s just at least give it a go and try to win another game’ – a kind of bottom-of-the-barrel bragging rights contest where the winners can boast “we’re just a little bit less bad than you are” – OK not much in the way of a badge of honour I admit, but a badge nonetheless (albeit in a very small font).

To be honest it now appears to be clear that the make up of the squad is fundamentally flawed – and for me it’s in the engine room where Boro have been found wanting. We have four essentially stopper types from which normally three will play – they aren’t really either attack-minded or have the necessary ability to create goals. It’s just not possible to play three defensive midfielders, either in the Premier League or elsewhere, who are not going to make major contribution to the attack. Where will a team find enough goals to win enough games when they are relying on probably just two or maybe three average forwards to do it on their own? It’s been a fundamental flaw of our season and it’s not as if we have compensated by signing a goal machine or two – quite the opposite, Boro have signed forwards who themselves have generally struggled to score.

So it doesn’t need a deep root and branch assessment to discover our failings – Martin de Roon was signed for £12m but he was a carbon copy of what we already had – the money would have been better invested in a box-to-box midfielder who had a track record in scoring from midfield. By his own admission following his last gasp goal at Man City, de Roon confessed he was messaging all his family because he NEVER usually scores. It’s not just that our central midfield don’t score but they hardly even contribute much beyond their stoppers role – and even that has dipped.

Still many of the faithful may be drooling at the prospect of coming to see the now official ‘best dribbler in Europe’ in the flesh – yes it’s been a closely guarded secret but the news is now out that Adama Traore has topped the list of Europe’s best dribblers, narrowly edging out Eden Hazard into second spot. It may possibly be the last chance to see him tomorrow as we already know Chelsea are keen on the world beater – it’s quite likely as I write this Neil Bausor is in deep negotiations with the Blues to sell our prized asset with probably the inferior Hazard coming in the opposite direction as a make-weight. OK, I know many will be disappointed at the prospect and some will say that Eden sounds like another project – but I’m sure Boro will soon be able to coach the defensive skill-set required into Hazard so he can slot seemlessly into our central trio of stoppers.

OK it’s time for your predictions again – will Boro fans be gazing in a dreamlike manner after finally seeing their team record that elusive victory? Or will Boro be staring in disbelief at the nightmare scenario of the only team they thought were worse than them piles on yet more misery? As usual give your thoughts on the team line-up, score and scorers – plus will Agnew resort to the famous McClaren 4-2-4 formation in a desperate bid to enhance his interview technique?

Oh and feel free to suggest a caption for the photo if you want – though remember to keep them clean please!

Exmil Challenge – Part 3

If want to submit an entry then the deadline for Part 3 is Wednesday at 19.45 – you can go to the interactive entry form by clicking on the green graphic below, which again is also in the sidebar above the comments.

entry-form-2

106 thoughts on “Agnew and Moyes stare the fear of relegation in the face”

  1. Is there an elephant in the room? Have I missed something in those rare hours when my increasingly tired reddening eyes have wandered briefly away from this blog?
    Answer me this:
    How can you relie on a Chairman whose main recruitment responsibility is to appoint a manager when he has failed to do so adequately over the last 12 months? Not only that but he has actively bought players that the previous manager didn’t want, yet failed tp bring in the ones he did.
    The lack of joined up thinking beggars belief. Yet here we are sayin we prefer this or that manager.
    What decent quality managet would apply after this disaster. Pardew? For gods sake I’ll die laughin. He’s a nightmare. He loses emotional control so much he cant remember his player’s name’s & has been known to headbutt an opposition player. Big Nige is worse!
    I cant see into the future but I’m reminded of what Richard said about our club being destroyed. He thought it was simply AK, I suggested the problems started from the top. Now I’m 95% sure they do & Aggers will be on the hot seat next season.
    Forget who you’d like as there is no vacancy.
    2-1 to the Boro, maybees!

    1. Sparta
      The true horror of our situation is revealed by your comments. Studied at leasure, they lead me to believe that you are coming round to the amazing view that AK was a foreign manager (poor in English, a deadly handicap as it turned out, but should have been corrected by our club) who joined us in good faith, realised that the squad was worthless, ill disciplined, lacked heart, completely uncoached in any of the must have skills required to compete in British league football, with ill matched components, i.e. very fast player, large units, good dead ball operators, great in the air, able to apply a bit of discipline when the opposition got out of hand, and above all sheer will to win when things got tight.
      If the above is harsh, I must say it is not unfair, whoever assembled our squad had a love of bargain basement players.
      It laugh when I think of the abuse he took when he taught those same players to keep clean sheets(was it six in a row).
      Quite how he persuaded those same hapless gentlemen to go away to, Man City, arsenal, man united, Liverpool, and act as though it was no big deal.
      I know it happened, but I still do not believe it.
      And all this was against a background of wild buying, wild selling, rows within the club, buying players that he did not want, the chairman taking no part in the great need, to build and integrate an equally great midfield and attack, was a disgrace, and the same chairman even thinking that he could appoint a slew of local oiks and leave them to take us down is beyond belief.
      It is becoming apparent that AK got a group of worthless players to crawl into the Prem.
      The signs were flashing then that we needed to buy some quality players, and fast.
      AK said many times that he asked for certain players, only to get wholly unsuitable characters instead.
      I hope that he gets a big club, learns to be fluent in footballese and is a great success, because he certainly did not deserve what happened here.

  2. What can we say, I described the game to a Mackem as the ‘Tees Wear are worse than you’ derby.
    What on earth do the fans chant? If we were playing Hull, Swansea, even Burnley or Bournemouth the Red faction could chant ‘down with the Mackems, you are going down with The Mackems!
    ‘
    Come 70 minutes at 0-0 and even less chances we could have two sets of fans with counter chants.
    Red Faction ‘Down with Boro, going down with the Boro!’
    These would be met by ‘Down with the Mackems. going down with the Mackems’
    Having listened to Tripe supper as well as pronouncements by the like of Stewie we are told the players are really happy in the current environment. Arrrrgh! as Vic says we don’t want happy we want snarl.
    When you are busy painting there is a knock at the door, hands covered in paint you carefully open the door to be greeted by two well dressed and spoken people. They offer you a little book and ask if you believe in Jesus or whatever. When you say you are busy they go away with a happy smile on their face.
    Does it remind you of a football team? Well meaning, hard working but couldn’t score in a brothel.
    Back to Tripe supper and you get the feeling that the Gazette boys don’t think the squad is good enough.
    Gosh! Shiver my timbers and slap my thigh! I have always wanted to slap the panto hero on the thigh, could be related to the fact she was prettier than the wimpish leading lady!

    1. On the thigh, Ian? That’s yer best effort when said lady is in the tightest of tight jodpurs and you want to slap her thigh?
      Okay, I give up. There simply is no hope for the human race -lol.
      😉

  3. Being an optimistic soul I reckon that it will be a draw. Don’t know what score and I have to say I don’t care.
    The Premiership wooden spoon, well it would be another for the trophy cabinet.
    If we concede first I hate to think what the implosion would be like. Hopefully not like Bournemouth.
    UTB,
    John

  4. Spartak
    Apart from slapping firm thighs I agree with the view the problems were not solely AK. He has to take a his fair share and that may be a fairly significant proportion.
    The fact we have a happy, clappy squad as we drift on to the rocks is a huge concern.
    What a friend we have in Agnew
    All our skills and griefs to bear
    And what a privilege to carry
    Everything to Gibbo in prayer
    Oh, what points we often forfeit
    Oh, what needless pain we bear
    All because we do not carry
    Everything to Gibbo in prayer
    Have we trials and temptations?
    Is there trouble anywhere?
    We should never be discouraged
    Take it to the Navi in prayer
    Can we find a friend so faithful
    Who will all our sorrows share?
    Agnew knows our every weakness
    Take it to Gibbo in prayer
    My apologies to anyone I may have offended.
    Meant in the best possible taste.

  5. That was brilliant Ian- clearly you have been to Sunday School in the past!
    I think we are past the point of prayer now and if Agnew is to be our salvation, then it is going to take a lot of faith.
    Weder, your usual excellent article and perhaps the caption should be along the Chuckle Brothwrs ” to you, to me, to you”
    Playing for the wooden spoon, who’d have thunk it this time last year? Perhaps the writing was on the wall at the start of the season and having read some of the views earlier regarding Steve Gibson, I would not like to see him sell up. However, I do feel that he has hoped for the best ad planned for the worst and that he cannot justify the funding required to have a top flight club.
    I would fear for our future if the Chinese were involved and think we would lose our identity as a club.
    As for tomorrow, I am, as the kids said in the past, meh!
    I would want us to win, show some fight and gain some respect, especially after Saturday although not sure the players have it in them to be honest.
    So I’m going for a 3-2 win in a scrappy game with a last minute goal hotly debated for offside. As for the formation, I will go for a traditional 2 3 5 with the best dribbler actually scoring from an intended cross!
    UTB

  6. So the word is that the players are happy in the current environment. Well they might be happy but what they are not is motivated, organised, committed, combative and united as a unit.
    They are a shambles and I don’t think Agnew has the ability and/or the authority to stop the rot. So my forecast is that the season sinks to a new low (if such a thing is possible) with a 2-0 win for Sunderland.

  8. Caption
    NOT A LOVING SPOONFUL
    well I hope to be there tomorrow and I shall look forward to the same Derby match next season hopefully we are with a good manager and better players and in a promotion position
    Mrs Fat Bob thinks I’m crackers spending a wad of money on two season tickets for next year but we always live in hope for something better to come along!
    If we can keep it tight for the first half then who knows Stuani may make it a win with another wonder goal.
    No on second thoughts I’ll go for a 1 1 draw which doesn’t help anyone
    Crowd
    28543
    Team
    Guzan Barragan Fry Gibson Fabio Clayton Forshaw Downing Traore Gestede Bamford
    Apart from the keeper and Gibson most of those players should still be with us next season and it makes sense to play your own players

  9. 3-1 to the Makems with Aggers trying out a 7-2-1 formation.
    Barragan loses Khazri who then dances around Chambers, Ayala slips on his backside but Clayts wins back possession with a brilliant last gasp tackle in the 6 yard box then passes it straight into the path of Defoe and 1-0 with 45 seconds gone. Heads in hands, despairing looks and Ben looks to the sky begging to be beamed up.
    Woody scratches his head while Aggers looks at the bench to see how he can turn things round and decides on 10 minutes to haul Negredo off to put Husband on and go 8-1-1. Two minutes after the restart Husband bumps into Friend then trips over Fabio while Cattermole picks up the lose ball and slots through for Anichebe who pauses for a selfie whilst the Boro back 8 run around like keystone kops and then slots it home whilst pointing to the opposite corner confusing Guzan and the zonally challenged back 8.
    2-0 down and nobody can find Traore! He started running towards the South Stand after Kick Off and has been picked up by average speed cameras just south of Sheffield, oh well lets hope when he looks up he may realise he missed the pass. Joe Jordan quickly realises the missing Traore problem and throws Fry into the fray to go 9-1-0 convinced that Moyes will be utterly confused and a wobble at the back is inevitable.
    Half time comes and MMP drowns out the yawns by playing “it not about the Money” at level 10. Its announced that John O’Shea has agreed to join Boro in the Summer for a £45m fee with Adam Johnson captured for £75m on a long term contract, Orta and Gill can be seen in the West stand upper high fiving at their latest coup! Meanwhile David Moyes won Mejias in the half time raffle after the ticket holder in the North Stand refused to collect his prize. Mejias then went to shake Moyes’s hand but missed, instead grasping the Fat Lady’s mouthwash bottle in error.
    The second half kicks off and Boro immediately go on the offensive and pass forwards to Forshaw who passes it sideways to Clayton who passes it back to Espinosa who stumbles and lets Ndong have a free hit. The ball crashes off the crossbar and flies down the opposite end of the pitch where Pickford was packing his bags for the Championship and suddenly its 2-1 and game on. Boro race over to the press box to claim that it was a shot on target.
    The Makem support all went home at 8.05 determined not to break with tradition but as a consequence missed Gestede’s late header into his own net defending Sunderlands 30th corner of the game. 3-1 and so it ended.
    After the game Aggers says we are “not out of it yet” and still believes. Stewy once again says what a great bloke Aggers is and he hopes he gets the job full time because he just been unlucky and he really knows what he’s talking about at Rockliffe, he then shows a petition to get Aggers the job permanently signed by Ramirez, Yakubu and Agger’s Mum.
    OK, some of the above may have been slightly exaggerated, Yakubu for example didn’t sign the petition as he couldn’t be bothered and Ramirez only signed it because he was told it was a Leicester contract.

    2. Werder and RR
      Brilliant absolutely brilliant. RR you had me chuckling and then I realised this is the boro and this could happen! I laughed out loud regarding you Adama comments.
      Boro 0-1 Sunderland. Can’t understand how some supporters can envisage us scoring three after what has gone previously.
      Crowd 29,977.
      CoB give us something to smile about.

  10. My belief is that Karanka was the catalyst to send us spiralling into the slough of despond in which we currently find ourselves, though I believe the hierarchy at the club (I say ‘club’ but that term implies togetherness, hardly a noun you’d use in conjunction with Boro) has contributed significantly to our demise over the last years.
    I say last years because I for one have not felt any of the usual excitement and anticipation about all things MFC since the dawn of the Karanka era. Even promotion didn’t have the gloss of the previous incarnations as we were dumped into second place by Burnley when, with a modicum of ambition we should have won the league. The last game of the season was the embodiment of Karanka’s reign to me. Just doing enough and no more..
    And there’s the rub with AK’s custody of our beloved club. His multiple reminders to the fans of where the club was when he came did bear a grain of truth and he was at first very successful in staunching the bleeding with his defensive styptic pencil.
    However, his progress quickly stagnated. Boro spent money and improved somewhat to become contenders but his rigid style manacled any free spirits within the team and the turgid, possession-based, creativity-impoverished, low-scoring football became the standard, and I have to say it was awful.
    I cannot say I enjoyed last season, and nor did I look forward to the Premier League…I had an awful feeling about what would come to pass. To witness how the ‘team’ has unravelled since the turn of the year however, is more alarming than even I anticipated.
    For the club hierarchy to believe that Karanka would cut it in the Prem with the side at his disposal was at best naive and realistically negligent. Then, when he most needed help, to fail him in the January transfer window with arguably the most bizarre purchases (for a lot of money I may add) since Ricketts was inexcusable. The disconnect between management and head coach was simply astounding, exemplified by Gibson’s ‘give it a good go’ mantra and Karanka’s aim for 17th place tenet.
    For Middlesbrough to place faith in Gaston Ramirez as their ‘best’ player, when others couldn’t wait to get rid of him is another example of the shambles our club has become. This man has done the same at every club he has been at and for MFC to somehow believe that he would change is nothing short of incredible.
    I really fear that unless there is major surgery – head coach, back room staff, club management – we will end up like Villa or even worse, Leeds…the chairman has, for me, made questionable managerial appointments over the past few years, perhaps influenced by execrable Kenyon in some part.
    Our next manager – and let’s not have any of this head coach BS – needs to be absolutely the right and proper man to lift us out of the miasma of the Championship toute de suite and with at least a scintilla of style and panache…please…

  11. I can honestly say ,I sympathize with Steve Agnew and the predicament he finds himself in, I’m sure he has many qualities,but he has always been a number two, it’s not his fault he was given an impossible task, petulant players ,not good enough at this level,but blaming the previous manager.
    He as had to placate them in the hope of getting the results that was needed,
    It was obvious it wasn’t on when he picked Husband on the back of social media calling for it,it showed weekness changing formations every game ,a sign of someone not sure of his own beliefs or indeed strength of conviction.
    The worst part of this for him,is that any ambitions of being a manager has been at the least been dented, would a Hartlepool take a punt on him,I don’t know?
    I think you may see him at Villa next season and that’s probably his best move.
    Tomorrow’s game , I think we will lose, Defoe is dangerous, and they do create chances, we don’t
    I hope I’m wrong ,info for 1 – 3

    1. GT
      It is counter productive to excuse a poor manager, if they are bad they must go, you would not excuse a pitiful singer so why on earth should you excuse someone who is not fit for service.
      The big clubs lose no time in firing any new manager who loses too many matches, they do not make excuses, he goes. End of. They are quite unashamed and never listen to the press, even it takes only six weeks from him starting he is history.
      So why an unsuccessful club should be slow to execute puzzles me. Agnew should not be in charge of this club as of right now. He is not fit for purpose, simple really, why are we suffering tonight, because Sunderland do not know it but they are nailed on.

  12. Werdermouth I think something is drastically wrong with the Part 3 challenge as tonight at midnight I have only received 4 more entries from:
    Boro Beckys Dad
    Powmill-Naemore
    selwynoz
    Suffolk’n’Boro
    None of those mentioned in your post of around 10:36 yesterday, also is there a problem with the new league table after Part 2, I can do it manually if required.
    I usually leave for the match at around 5 tomorrow, so if your entry has not been recorded could you post it manually on here and I will list it as received, any post before kick off will be accepted.
    Come on BORO.

    1. Just to clarify, there’s nothing wrong with the Part 3 challenge interactive form (drastic or otherwise) – it’s functioning normally.
      The real cause for the lack of entries so far is simply people are not visiting the site as often as they used to since it became pretty obvious Boro were going down. Basically you announced Part 3 on Monday morning and we got 17 entries in that day – Tuesday traditionally has the fewest visitors in a week as comments about the weekend game tail off (that’s why I like to post up a new article on Tuesday evening).
      The problem is that there are less than three days for people to visit the blog and see that they need to submit an entry – I will mail a reminder to those outstanding entrants who took part later today. As it stands (if I also include myself) 23 of the 34 entrants have already submitted.
      The entrants who I confirmed yesterday are in the ‘El Formo’ online database – but since the ‘El Formo’ mail server was down on Monday afternoon there was no automated confirmation email sent to Exmil or me (I also get a copy too for backup) – since the email is sent automatically only at the point of form submission there won’t be one sent to you for those six entrants. That’s one of the reasons I chose a company that also saves form submissions in an online database account – it’s added safety.
      I should get round to the Exmil League table today – I first need to create a spreadsheet from Part 2 entries and also combine the scores from Part 1 – I’ve had no time yet as yesterday all my spare time was spent creating my header graphic and writing the text for my Sunderland pre-match piece.
      Also I wouldn’t advocate that people manually post their entries after 5pm tomorrow – their entries can be submitted as normal using the interactive form as they are date stamped – it would just create unnecessary extra work.

    2. Ola! That’s Spanish for “ow do”!
      Not to late I hope, but here are my entries:
      Burnley: LWLW
      Hull City: DWLL
      Swansea City: LLDW
      Middlesbrough: WDLDL
      Sunderland: LDLDLL
      Sorry it’s manual, but I’m sipping San Miguel in Gran Canaria and on the hunt for the lesser spotted Jesé.

  13. PS my entry for the caption is Moyes to SA:
    “All season I have held onto this bloody thing and now you are going to steal it from me”
    Come on BORO.

  14. Cassandra
    You might argue that doing enough to succeed is easily preferable to not doing enough to succeed. The RAM (P) Mentality – Results are results, Achievements are achievements, Memories are memories (and Promotion is promotion). Worked for Big Jack for seven years – despite scraping into three tournaments all three qualifications were wholeheartedly celebrated and are still fondly looked back upon. Similarly Fergie won’t moan about scraping his two European Cups – he got them and that is that.

  15. That said. I sympathise as I do see where you’re coming from. I guess I’m a sentimentalist – someone who wants to cling on to the good memories of a one time managerial hero’s spell.
    And I think Cris Freddi would agree with you. Here’s what he said on Big Jack’s Ireland losing 2-0 to Holland in 1995.
    “It’s hard to reach a firm conclusion about this game. On the surface it looks clear-cut: one style of football overcoming another, new young players put­ting an end to (Jack) Charlton’s term. I want it to be as simple as that. I could never match the general enthusiasm for little Ireland’s glorious march, a country of three million reaching major finals for the first time. For a start, they picked from rather more than three million (ten of the team who played against Hol­land were born in Eng­land) – and they won only one of their nine matches in the World Cup finals while scoring a total of four goals.
    “…I’m not the only one who thought they might have gone further if Jack had allowed his pool of creative players to play creatively: Sheridan, Whelan, Sheedy, Houghton, the ageing Brady. And Aldridge could only have scored more goals if he hadn’t been chasing long balls towards the corner flag.
    “Yes, but. Who knows more about football, Jack Charl­ton or me? Exactly. So once injury had ruled out Brady and Jack decided his other playmakers weren’t world class and Aldo was too slow, who’s to argue, es­pecially with the results?…With no new players coming through, it’s possible he’d given up on the Holland match before it was played, but he’d earned his dues by then. His methods were legit because they were successful.
    “Yes, but. You don’t necessarily have to like them… In the World Cup there wasn’t much to admire about them except their fans. Even for them it all seemed to wear a bit thin in the end: witness the team’s muted reception after USA 94. No one has to apologise for wanting Holland to win that play-off.”

  16. SG went down the road of appointing a new manager in-house before, and it didn’t end well. No doubt he will reflect on that and so I am not convinced Agnew will still be in charge next season.
    Remembering Bamford’s time at Palace, Pardew would not be a good choice if we want to get the best out of Patrick Bamford, who will be a very, very key player if we are to bounce back up next season. Also, Pardew has had some periods of success, but once things started to go downhill he did not seem able to recover the situation at Palace.
    The merit of bringing in a manager who is already available would be that he could then have an input into who we buy and release for next year.
    Tonight we need to see passion and a performance to match the previous three home wins – there can’t be any excuse for poor organisation or a lack of ideas to open up their defence.
    If Agnew can’t get the players fired up for tonight, he never will.
    Mark W

  19. Well I’ve just spent a couple of hours feeding in the predictions for Exmil Part 2 into my spreadsheet and amending my output program and layout to create the latest Standings table.
    Paulista Park continues to forge ahead with his predictive powers, getting a rather impressive 21 of the 28 matches correct – we can only hope he also troubled the bookies and has now accumulated enough wealth to buy out Steve Gibson – though will Karanka be set to return under his consortium?
    He’s closely followed by the tiki-taki Spanish posters in KP and Pedro as Paul goes all mid-seasonal Arsenal and drops a few places. The biggest climber is Len who’s jumped up 13 places to 5th spot with his Champions League dream still alive.
    At the other end Allan in Bahrain is emulating his beloved Boro with Spartak taking on the role of Sunderland. Unfortunately I’m also just hovering above a crowded relegation zone after some misplaced optimism on Boro’s fortunes – with Exmil a massive point ahead of me (both done deliberately of course so you can have faith that the challenge is not fixed).
    So to see the current standings just click on the graphic link below, which you can also find in the side bar above the Recent Comments box.
    current-standings
    And another reminder that the deadline for Part 3 is at 19.45 Today – you can go to the interactive entry form by clicking on the green graphic below, which again is also in the sidebar above the comments.
    entry-form-2

    1. I have just redone my challenge after the previous Technical glitch in the Burnley (Palace game?) fixture. Sunderland end with 24 points and us with 26 cut adrift from the rest with Swansea finishing 3rd bottom and Hull escaping. If indeed Hull do escape that is some recovery from the start of the season when they only had 13 players in the squad plus youngsters and even selling Snodgrass in January.

  20. For the first time in a very long time I’m going to the match tonight and I really don’t care or even remotely bothered what the result is. The fact that its a Derby match postponed from our exciting Cup run makes it even worse. Perhaps if we had played them back then it could have been a catalyst for the rest of the Season but that is grasping at straws in the most desperate of manners.
    What I want for the rest of the Season is to blood some fringe players (not Gestede or Guedioura both of whom and their ilk I hope will not be here next season), give Dimi his deserved and earned right to play in the Premiership and ditch any mercenaries who won’t be here next Season (Ben excepted from this and excused from the Mercenary tag as he is anything but).
    Cassandra above spells it all out very eloquently. Last season for me was a turgid grind that saw us scrape over by the narrowest of margins ironically hinging on Gaston’s shin rather than great tactical game management. This season has been pure purgatory and especially embarrassing on my travels when somebody asked who I supported hanging my head in shame. Going down before was painful but different, everyone loved the football of TLF and the entertainment, people at least felt sorry for Southgate outside of our club, this time its not painful it just feels like the effects of the anaesthetic is wearing off.
    Who would have thought back in August that downwards sloping gastric band shirt would have been so prophetic along with that yellow streak of an away shirt.

    1. Downward sloping gastric band, nice one RR. It was written in the shirt. We should play Dimi and some of our Under 23 team or whatever they are called. I mean why have the reserves if you never play them? You just sell them to fund overpaid mercenaries.
      As I said on a previous post I’m suffering from a lack of interest, if not apathy, about one of the big matches of the season.
      UTB,
      John

  23. Breaking Newts, Sportsfans!
    HMRC (Thats the tax man) has raided both Newcastle Utd and West Ham Utd this very mornin & hauled away, at least in NUFC’s case, the MD & slung him in irons. Spokesperson speaks of tax fraud.
    Oh dear! Just when the Geordies had got a smile back on their faces there is a risk that under FA FFP rules they could find themselves not only deducted points but relegated to Div 1 or 2.
    Then there’s WHFC! Could they find themselves relegated. We’ve seen shady issues before and blind eyes were turned, BUT this is about arrests, the ‘good’ of the game etc., etc.
    Could this impact on Boro’s season? Newcastle fail to be promo’d, the Hammers hammered. Not likely I admit. The FA can decimate Swindon Town but the bigger clubs have wasta and lawyers.
    There is of course the issue of who would take their places and a major shuffle of the leagues would give someone a headache. Anyone know the rules?
    Meanwhile guarantee Gazette Towers has their beady eye on this and maybe knockin up a piece as you read this comment.
    Anyone seen the tax man lurkin in the bushes at Rockcliffe?
    And the piggies in the trough become all agitated cause their eyes are bigger than their bellies – shocker!

    1. I would be astonished if the FA impose any sanctions against WHFC. Worse case may be a fine of some sort but that is it. Newcastle being Northern on the other hand may find themselves with a more serious charge and even points deduction.
      Whatever happens I hope it doesn’t mean Boro staying up by default as that would be (to me anyway) an even greater embarrassment plus the thought of another season of not giving it a try let alone a go doesn’t bear contemplation.

  24. EXMIL CHALLENGE – Part 3
    According to my spreadsheet the following posters who took part in Part 2 still haven’t submitted an entry before today’s deadline:
    – Allan in Bahrain
    – BoroPhil
    – Brisbane Phil
    – Jarkko
    – peasepudinperth
    – Rich
    – Simon Fallaha
    – Smoggy in Exile
    – Steve Terry (NikeBoro)
    – theYouthfulUpstart
    I’ll also email a reminder where I’ve got an address
    The deadline for Part 3 is at 19.45 Today – you can go to the interactive entry form by clicking on the green graphic below, which again is also in the sidebar above the comments.
    entry-form-2

    1. Make it a good one Simon as I’m gaining on you – lol
      Strange affiliation with the Mackem results hav I got. Relegated not once but twice in the same season 🙁

  26. EXMIL CHALLENGE 2017 Part 3 (final standings)
    This morning I received a further 3 entries, giving me a total of 18 but Werdermouth has a record of all entries and he is producing the league table, it is not a problem. Received this morning:
    Originalfatbob
    Redcar Red
    Chris Hunneysett
    Come on BORO.

  28. That said, stats on their own won’t save a manager.
    Even after Mogga narrowly missed out on the play-offs in 2011-12, what memorable home games* were there?
    I point you to Andrew Glover’s words from May 2012.
    “Birmingham in the late-August sunshine, a summer stroll of a 3-1 win over a side struggling to adapt to its Europa League-saddled schedule. Fantastic goals from Faris Haroun and Malaury Martin that promised great things.
    “A ferocious FA Cup replay with Sunderland when the team, brimming with Academy products, fought until the bitter end against the Premier League’s form side, giving them their second almighty fright in the space of a fortnight.
    “And then the final home game against Southampton when a stirring reaction to going behind within seconds galvanised the crowd and sent everyone home with a smile as wide as the River Tees.
    “And in three brief paragraphs, that’s it. That is the sum of the memorable entertainment at The Riverside stretching back nine months.”
    And Len’s, following the unconvincing wins over Wolves and Leeds – although many would have jabbed their finger at W2 D0 L0 F6 A0 and asked “What the **** is wrong?”
    “Great result. Terrific defensive organisation and discipline, even better than last season on this showing. We will take some beating given the way we play… But, Nugent apart, there was little evidence of £16 million’s worth of attacking flair added this summer… It was frankly a little embarrassing for such an expensively acquired attacking midfield to be so comprehensively out-passed for large parts of the game, and at home, by a basket-case of a club.
    “…I just wish our performances were as fantastic as our stats.”
    *Note as well that AKBoro’s biggest win (Millwall 1-5 Boro) and best performances in 2015-16 (Ipswich and Brighton, IMO) came on the road.

  29. An observation on the topic of whether our team is weaker now than it was, or why we failed to stay up / lack of goals and or poor recruitment / decisions etc. etc. Jordan Rhodes (Sheff Wed) playing in a 4-4-2 (2 up top, off a big man) in a promo chasing front-foot team has failed to score in 14 of his 16 games, and contributed 1 assist. During an unbeaten April play-off run he’s been dropped for the last 3 home games, with journeymen Fletcher and Hooper preferred.
    Maybe supports again that the standard quality of our squad, regardless of manager or formations etc., was never ever good enough to start with, something roundly commented on by many on here back in Aug, but roundly denied by the club.

  30. Last time WHam got in to trouble the FA decided not to deduct points because it was unfair on the fans. Mmmm! Trevor Brooking……
    Elsewhere, that nice Mr Barton has been banned for 18 months. I was astonished Burnley had him back after his time at Rangers and the charges hanging over his head. Barton is going to appeal.

    1. Can we then claim retrospective victory in the Burnley Barton game/s plus 6 points against the Mother Brown bubble blowers?
      We could make the Europa cup at this rate!

    2. You can almost guarantee that West Ham will never suffer the kind of penalty Boro received for having the temerity to miss a match – after all poor Blackburn had ordered the pies (according to weasel-face Parks). West Ham merely played two players for a season who, contrary to everyone’s rules, didn’t belong to them. Mere bagatelle and as you say, unfair to the fans to punish them with relegation. Brooking’s fingerprints all over that decision…

  31. The Gaston Ramirez thing once again highlights this big club fix called Transfer windows,all it does is help them with their big squads of internationals,
    Whilst most down to the likes of Hartlepool can’t address unhappy players,injuries, finances or even past mistakes,it actually makes leagues un competitive,you are stuck, the January window also inflates fees.
    The old way was far better, you had till mid March to re arrange things if needed.

  33. I entered the ExMill challenge now. But even as a optimistic, I had Boro relegated by one point. And I was generous to the Reds!
    I still do not understand what went wrong after Christmas. Typical post-Xmas Boro slump should be over by now as the pitch is green at Riverside. So it is something else.
    Of course one can argue that AK left too late. But as well one can say he should have stayed. I think mathematically the change of a manager at the bottom teams has not really helped in most cases. We just tend to remember the cases where it has worked. But the results are not depending on one man only. It is a team work and not just a manger. The whole club has failed.
    The four wins and many draws before Xmas was on course for a survival. I even enjoyed the matches back then. They were not typical English football but it was much better than against Bournemouth last Weekend. But it was good European style footy before Xmas and I was happy.
    So the question remains – what went wrong? Someone – might have been RR – said that there is usually a team that collapses suddenly and sinks to the relegation positions. It looks like the team was Boro this season.
    Still, I hope we’ll win tonight. Up the Boro!

  34. I will watch the match on a stream tonight, not because i am looking forward to it now that we are almost relegated, but because i want to see if there are any players trying their hearts out to be part of the squad next season.
    Also agree with other posters, but it will not happen until are mathematically relegated, that some of the fringe players should be given a go to see if they could be good enough for the Championship. Mind you Husband did not do so well, but then neither did the team as a whole, so not a fair judgement on him.
    As for the caption……Moyes is saying “have you been stirring the dirt (other four letter words are available) on me. To which SA says, no you have been doing that yourself.

  36. Whatever the result tonight and the end to the season it is clear the Status Quo is not viable because that will take us down, down, deeper and down.
    Just saying like.

  37. Just received an email advising that from June MFC will no longer be part of EFL Digital Ltd.
    EFL currently provide the Boro+ service and it appears that the club intend to provide something via the MFC website.
    That’s all have have gleaned so far so it’s a case of watch this space.

    1. Just about to post the same. Hopefully the new website will be more user friendly than the present one for tablet users. 0-0 for me tonight.

  38. Well I’m sat at the Boro feeling excited (silly old sod ) looking forward to it !
    I just love the anticipation it’s the actuality that makes me miserable
    Good tributes to UGO on the front of the programme and lots of messages shirts and scarves tied to the old gates as a memorial
    What a defence we had then outstanding
    Up the Boro
    I’ve had a fit of madness for the exmil challenge and forecast the Boro winning every game
    I’m happy now I’ve got a glass of Shiraz in my hand !!
    Let’s do it !!!!!!

    1. OFB
      Glad you are well enough to get to the Riverside. Hope you enjoy the evening (wine & banter). Hope you also enjoy the match but more likely to be the former than the latter! 😎🤞🇪🇸

  39. I imagine we’ll see too poor teams cancelling each other out this evening. A nil nil draw will be the last point either team see this season.
    Mind you, if we win I’ll immediately start working out whether we can stay up or not.

  40. OFB
    Glad to hear it, not a lover of Shiraz, generally prefer slightly lighter reds but being a gregarious chap I would not be so rude to refuse a glass when offered.
    My dad served in the armed forces and having spent days in camp without beer he believed there was no such thing as bad beer. He ended up in North Wales on a weekend pass and was appalled his mate hadn’t told him the pubs were shut on a Sunday where he lived. Very Chapel and all that.
    I hope we get a win tonight but enjoy the match. For some reason Sky are showing Spurs rather than us so I will be listening.

    1. Pinot Noir or Cabernet Franc for me. But usually a beer. Tonight I will mostly be drinking beer behind the couch. Speckled Hen or Leffe Blonde.
      It’s a draw or a win to them.
      As long as Boro aren’t spanked with a spoon.
      UTB,
      John

  41. Not sure what the formation is but surprised to see Fabio benched and Chambers keeping the RB slot after Saturday’s debacle.
    Looks like Stuani wide right and Forshaw left with Stewy no. 10 or maybe wide left with nobody wide right and two up top with Stuani and Negredo, don’t think Aggers has tried that one yet so don’t rule it out. A sloping formation to match the shirts and our endeavours!
    Can’t believe what I’m about to sit through.

  43. …What you want to know where I got this wooden spoon? Well Steve if you want to survive in this game you have to make sure you stand up to your Chairman – that’s why I always carry this around – I got it when I bumped into Ellis Short after we’d just lost 4-1 at Burnley to go bottom and he just abruptly handed it to me – I said sarcastically “what’s that then a late Christmas present?” and he snapped back “No it’s your leaving present” – well I just stared him in the eyes and quietly told him “where I come from pal you learn how to kill a man six ways with one of those” – anyway he hasn’t bothered me since and I’ve still got my job…

  44. So three defensive midfielders, two rusty full-backs and our specialist Sunderland goal machine back in the starting line-up – Looks like Aggers is going for it then! though not quite sure what ‘it’ is just yet. No doubt all will become clear in the next half-an-hour or so… 0-0 anyone?

  46. The elephant in the room reflects the ‘mammoth’ task ahead. In his ‘ivory’ tower SG has played has his final ‘hand’, all ‘finger’ pointing should stop now & Mr Manewaring please note, we’re doomed, we’re all doomed.
    Time to ‘knuckle’ down for Championship infiniteum.
    SG must ‘shoulder’ the blame, as after his last throw of the dice there was no ‘knee’ jerk reaction to SA.
    IMHO SG has given up far too easily on a life-long dream. Or maybe it wasn’t one after all …
    Caption for SG & DM :
    “Here take it, try stirring up some passion & belief, it sure didn’t work for me !”
    Score : Err my ‘head’ doesn’t know, my ‘heart’ hopes Boro by loads of goals + an early red for Clattermole.
    Will celebrate / drown sorrows with Strong’Arm’ (other alcoholic beveridges are available) in the Rover’s Return.

  47. 1 0 at half time with yet another goal from de Roon.
    Shame I cant listen do it on the Boro+ subscription that I pay for. Had about 30 seconds of crackly WWW commentary around the 6 minute mark before it gave up.
    A bit like our season I suppose.

  48. Nice to see a well taken goal from us….but dear oh dear me, two poor, poor sides.
    Sloppy passing by by Boro, defence still jittery and George, did we once think he may just make the jump to the PL. he and Chambers look as though they have played at FB.
    Lets hope we can up the anti and get another goal or two, because Defoe always has one in him.

  52. So this is what a league victory feels like. I’d almost forgotten. Now to celebrate with a nice drop of 16 year old Lagavullin.
    If Hull and Swansea lose away to Southampton amd Manu, then we go into our next home game knowing a victory would take us to within 3 points of safety with 3 games to go….

  53. Wonders will never cease and Ian’s prayers have been heard a goal and a win in the same match! Am I dreaming? Too little too late I fear.

  54. Commentary came up with about ten minutes to go, gosh it was, er, poor.
    Four wins, we only need four wins, we only need four wins……………. Only Citeh, Chelsea, Liverpool and Soton to play.

  55. Well I’ve just set fire to my lucky wooden spoon and am waving it above my head as I’ve donned my “we’re just a little bit less bad than you are” badge of honour whilst chanting ‘We are Premier League, we are Premier League’ – living the moment. It was so exciting in those closing minutes that my intravenous Merlot drip almost fell out – Diasboro has chalked up it’s very first league win and we’ve now stretched our unbeaten run to a massive one game. In the end our quality showed – yes it really did unfortunately (kisses badge meekly).

    1. Downing played well amd ran his socks off.
      De Roon had a good game and Negredo battled on his own and wasn’t best pleased when he was subbed
      George looks unfit and struggled most of the game
      Gibbo made one un customary mistake which could have been costly
      Jim Montgomery was next to us and walking back down the corridor he dropped his scarfe and still walked on
      A friend of mine shouted
      “Jim you’ve dropped your scarf ”
      Quick as a flash he turned round and said
      “I’ve never dropped anything in my life ”
      Cue much laughter
      On another note Neil Bausor and Peter Kenyon deep in conversation after the game….
      Mmmmm

  58. EXMIL CHALLENGE Part 3 (Final positions)
    After the match I received the following entries, all posted before the deadline:
    smoggyinexile
    Simon Fallaha
    Rich
    BrisbanePhil
    Werdermouth
    Jarkko
    They may be others I have not received but I am sure Werdermouth will know who is in the final Exmil Challenge, good luck to everyone.
    Come on BORO.

  59. Nice to see a win even if it wasn’t a stunning game. Am I alone in thinking that Cattermole is actually a much better player than he is given credit for. It’s a shame that he got stuck at Sunderland and not somewhere bigger.
    Anyway, Man City will be a very different proposition. Even though it might seem strange to change a winning formation – it’s a while since we’ve been able to say that – I would suggest playing two up front in Gestede and Negredo with a packed midfield. That gives us an outlet when we break down City’s attacks.
    Assuming that Traore is now seen as a waste of time in all except crisis situations, that format also gives us the three in midfield who were solid today plus Downing free to roam. The other five and their formation may depend on Ayala’s fitness but Gibson, Chambers, Fabio and Friend will be four of them
    It’s a bit of a dream but that side could sneak something. Where there’s life there’s hope.
    UTB

    1. Selwyn
      Gestede can jump and if the ball hits his head great but after that where it ends up is anyone’s guess, maybe OK at League two level but at Premiership level its just awkward to watch and that’s being kind.
      In a packed box with a cross fizzed in he would unsettle and cause some anxiety for defenders but all his Boro aerial duels are 25 yards out. Not the lads fault but as a tactic it highlights the huge gap in the Coaching that is required at this level versus what we now have. Negredo wins headers but can actually chase his own header down, retain control and do or at least try and do something with it.
      Bamford for me is the more natural player to play alongside Negredo out of the skill sets and playing personnel available at the minute.

    1. Bamford was warming up on the touch line for at least 30 minutes last night !
      Traore was sent out to warm up and just stood on the touchline watching the game
      Mrs OFB said “he doesn’t need to warm up he’s fast enough already”

  62. Someone said (no names mentioned) that he’d keep De Roon for next sessons travails 😉
    Shock! Horror! Breaking Newts!
    SPARTAKBORO RECOMMENDS SIGNING LEE CATTERMOLE NEXT SEASON AND MAKING HIM CAPTAIN!

    1. Spartak
      I thin Gibbo would sign Cattermole a big mistake by Southgate letting him go as he couldn’t manage him.
      The problem with Cats is his injury record for the past few years but he would be an ideal replacement for Leadbitter

      1. Ideal replacement indeed, OFB. And he’s a local lad. Team him up with Big Nige ‘I can look after myself’ Pearson, keep Joe Jordan and Leo. Hey presto! Just the right types for a 46 game Championship slog off!
        Urraahhhhh!
        Peter Kenyon – oh dear 🙁

    1. You’re the new rotund Messi, Ian. Dribbling around a defence that’s gone missing.
      Someone deserves a smacked bottom for that.
      Who’s fault was it? Must be Jeremy Corbyn – lol.
      Meanwhile May & the Tories have their sights on the OAP triple lock. Ooh errr Mrs!

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