| Middlesbrough | Millwall | ||
| Hugill | 90′ (pen) | Wallace | 22′ |
| Possession Shots On target Corners Fouls |
59% 16 3 8 13 |
Possession Shots On target Corners Fouls |
41% 7 3 4 10 |
Lions versus Pulis Pussycats
Today saw the Boro back at the Riverside in Championship action for the first time in a few weeks to face Neil Harris’s Millwall who before kick off this afternoon were 20th in the table, precariously just five points above the relegation spots and having earned just six points on their travels this season.
After a credible draw at Derby and a battling away win at Birmingham Boro on paper at least appeared to be too strong for Millwall so a convincing home win was the expectations on Teesside. Millwall however have been fighting to survive and have no intentions of going down having won three of their last five Championship games.
The reverse of this fixture on the opening day down at the Den saw Boro steal a very unlikely 2-2 draw after Wing and Tav came on to turn the tide in what had been an abject Boro outing. The South Londoners do seem to struggle against us and hadn’t managed a clean sheet in any of our previous 12 encounters in the Championship. To make matters more interesting Millwall have a very poor habit of conceding very late goals in the dying minutes of games so a word of caution to those who like to get to their cars and away early from the Riverside.
In his pre match press conference TP had announced that Flint and Shotton were just back in training so unlikely to be available while Neil Harris would likely be without strikers Aiden O’Brien and 6’4” Tom Elliott for this one. George Saville of course is the one who will be attracting the most attention as he faced his ex-employers who are now several million to the good since his departure. Ben Marshall had also returned to Millwall on loan from Norwich this week where he enjoyed a similar stint last season out on the wing when they went on a 17 game unbeaten run.
The Boro Team selection at 2.03pm was met with a series of murmurs, rumbles and a sense of underwhelming predictability in the queue for the bar. Apart from Lewis Wing there was no pace, no energy, no width, no drive, no creativity, no support to a lone Striker and no highest scoring midfielder in Tavernier. Unfortunately that mood permeated the Stadium in what was as flat an atmosphere as you could imagine.
The home fans settled down trying to get some warmth in a cold dark miserable grey day on Teesside. Millwall had turned up wearing grey themselves as if to add to the gloomy mood which was made a lot worse when they deservedly scored after a midfield error on twenty five minutes to open the scoring. Randolph had saved Boro’s blushes just minutes earlier saving from Gregory at close range with the Millwall Strikers shot leaving a very painful impression indeed. It was however to be the only example of “balls” Boro showed all afternoon.
You may wonder why I haven’t gone through the action for those opening twenty five minutes but in truth there wasn’t any, seriously there wasn’t, absolutely nothing at all what so almost-driven-to-swearing ever. Our muddled midfield stifled the life out of anything remotely looking like a sporting contest. Howson was wide right but on another planet to Dael Fry who endured a tortuous opening twenty minutes being turned and twisted inside out with Ayala having to abandon his central role to spare his blushes as Howson just looked on motionless and lost. On the opposite flank George Friend was battling but again outnumbered two versus one as George Saville looked like he still thought he was a Millwall player. Actually that’s a tad unkind as based on today’s performance Saville wouldn’t have got a sniff at starting in that side as he was outplayed, outfought and outclassed for 90 minutes.
Wing tried to do something but there was no movement, nobody to pick out so all he could do was try and recycle the ball which was seemingly the only tactic that Tony Pulis had managed to get across to his players. Besic was dicky dancing his way in circles as he does, hanging onto the ball for too long only to release it last minute but not with a telling pass or a slide rule defence splitter just more sideways and backwards monotony. Was it the worst Boro performance at the Riverside? Possibly not but at this moment I can’t recall feeling more deflated, fed up and completely totally and utterly disinterested in the morose boring inept tactical cock-up unfolding out on the pitch. It was mind numbingly boring, pointless and our first 45 minutes looked like an over 50’s walking football match but without as much effort, pace or movement and certainly lacking the intensity of an over 50’s game.
Randolph done all that was asked of him, Ayala battled, Batth was reasonable as was George, poor Dael Fry isn’t a right-back but the rest of the side with the possible exception of Wing was so rank bad that health officials should have put a warning notice on it. The booing, jeering and whistling from the home fans seemed to strike a chord as every backwards pass was met with derision. That was the only time in the first half that Boro actually looked to get their heckles up and put some effort in and a long range Wing shot went across the dubious and very dodgy looking Archer’s goal missing the far upright by about a foot.
Hugill battled in vain as he was punched, elbowed, manhandled, grabbed and generally pushed to the floor and bullied which was totally ignored by the Referee Stroud who seemed so biased that if I was an FA official I’d be tempted to search his bins for brown envelopes next week. Every single tackle from Boro was penalised but every head butt, elbow, and crunching challenge from Millwall was adjudged to be fair game. As bad as the man in the middle’s performance was it was still overshadowed by the dross Pulis put us through. Five minutes before the interval Archer pulled off a good save from Howson who should have done better but that’s what happens when Pulis sticks with his favoured virgin midfielders but it did at least count as an attempt on target.
The half time whistle went to a chorus of boos which was probably more than the Players deserved as they weren’t actually that good that it was worth the effort to boo or jeer. Our home form has been poor all season because Pulis adapts his successful away tactics at home and it has failed miserably all season at the Riverside yet despite his advancing years seems to be unable to learn a lesson. His team selection and tactics today were akin to a Prince Phillip driving lesson only minus the thrills and spills but with the inevitable consequences.
We were expecting a serious reshuffle and a few changes at half time after the debacle we had just witnessed but we only saw Clayts hauled off and VLP coming on which was little bit more positive but one positive player in a sea of nauseating dross wasn’t going to cut it and of course Tavernier wasn’t even in the squad for fear he might actually score or create a goal and in doing so ruin Pulis’s justifications of continually picking Besic and his extravagant signing Saville. VLP did look like a breath of fresh air, dribbled and ran at Millwall which was the only positive note in the day’s proceedings. How that was going to turn the tide I don’t know because as good as he was the side was completely disjointed and our midfield and right flank just slowed the pace down and played balls that were read in last weeks newspapers.
There was more chance of Theresa May getting an agreement on Brexit than there was of Boro offering any form of entertainment or indeed scoring for that matter. There were some isolated chants of “we want Pulis out” in the North Stand which didn’t get picked up on but it’s only a matter of time if he continues with these emasculating home tactics. History had repeated itself this afternoon and Pulis’s opening day “no show” away at the Den was incompetently repeated in the worst possible Groundhog Day scenario.
VLP was making runs and earning free kicks and even a yellow card being awarded to the visitors as he unleashed a bagful of tricks to brighten up what was the footballing epitome of an Edinburgh Funeral. Boro were at least now offering some sort of attacking intent albeit a one man show from VLP and a mix of walking Football elsewhere. Even TP must have been bored by what he had self-inflicted as he brought on Britt for Howson clearly blind to the fact that he had zero outlet or creativity on the pitch apart from VLP.
Most of us were at the point of past caring as the Riverside atmosphere had now descended into something reminiscent of Monastic silence which reminded me of something from my long gone schooldays: “I was silent and still; I held my peace to no avail; my distress grew worse, my heart became hot within me. While I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue” (Psalm 39: 3).
I must admit to having to google that one when I got back home as the years have dimmed my exact recollection of the accurate wording but it was pretty darn accurate for what I had just experienced. Unfortunately the bit about “then I spoke with my tongue” cannot be printed on here due to the extreme likelihood of it causing offence although it paled into insignificance compared to the spineless, gutless and soul destroying refuse that was served up by Pulis today. Two ancient Anglo Saxon words summed my feelings up and those around me towards that team selection and the abject monotony that was masquerading as Football.
With twenty minutes remaining Downing was brought on as yet another penny slowly dropped with our master tactician in the dugout that just maybe the complete lack of width and service from the right was finally addressed. I must admit to finding it incredible that none of Woodgate, Fleming, Ellis or even Pulis himself can recognise the nauseating stench of decay and the seeping away of support and with it the sapping of any and all enthusiasm hence playing in the “Riverside Mausoleum” of their own making.
In the dying seconds as is Millwall’s incredible want this season Morison gave away a stupid penalty by recklessly pushing Ayala in a safe zone in the box. Hugill sent Archer the wrong way with the resultant penalty. I will confess to screaming “to his left”, Archer seemingly heard and duly obliged Hugill who put it to his right. 1-1. Millwall were robbed and Pulis got a point when he weakly and negatively threw away all three before even a ball was kicked.
MOM was Randolph and then VLP in the second half but who cares because having to sit through that farcical, incoherent steaming mess of a team selection had me considering a season ticket for Roseberry Park (or St. Lukes to most of us on here) rather than returning to the Riverside any time soon. So to summarise Millwall had some balls, put up a decent and credible show and were robbed at the end after thoroughly deserving all three points. In between Boro passed it sideways, backwards and sideways again, nobody made any runs off the ball to drag defenders wide or create anything other than offer a modern alternative to Mogadon. Next season I suggest that Steve Gibson offers a free Nitrazepam tablet instead of a free pint. This wasn’t negative football in the Karanka sense this was worse, much worse this was hard core garbage.